The Vagueness

I refuse to believe I’m the only one suffering the effects of The Vagueness.

The Vagueness. It’s a serious dilemma. A disease that’s overtaken this culture. An epidemic that drives hundreds of thousands, if not millions of young men and women to confusion, doubt, uncertainty, unnecessary time spent making justifications, and overall heartache.

The Vagueness: coming to a theater near you.

Joking. It’s already everywhere. All around. Everywhere I look. Guys not willing to call a date a date. Girls leading guys on because they enjoy the flattery and the attention.

When did we lose the courage to be straight up with each other? When did people start settling so quickly and easily for the next person and relationship to come around that seemingly fulfills the hole of loneliness attention-seeking requirements we each have as a human being.

The Vagueness. Yup.

Now let me tell you about the origin of the Vagueness.

People are afraid of rejection. We’re acceptance junkies, and can’t stand when people don’t like us or want us. We all strive to be loved and wanted.

So when two people are interested in each other and start getting to know one another, it’s hugely tempting to keep things “casual” just in case it doesn’t go over well.

Because if you call it “hanging out” you were never actually “dating” right?


And so you “hang out” once.

And then you “hang out” a second and third time.

And then one person starts to wonder “what this is” and a DTR talk needs to happen. (“Define the Relationship”).

And if both people are feelin’ it, maybe you decide you’re dating.

Or maybe one person says “do we have to call it dating?”

Or one person says “yeah I’m not really into you”

Or one person says “what do you mean, we’re just friends?!”


If you have to have a define-the-relationship talk, the relationship might not be a healthy one. Just sayin.

Let’s be intentional about dating.

Let’s call dates dates.

Let’s be intentional about how we spend our time with the opposite sex.

I dunno about you, but I’m not looking for more friends. If a guy wants to “hang out” with me, I’m gonna be straight up from the beginning and say “soo is this a date?” and if he says no, then I’ma tell him straight up: sorry _______ but I’m not looking for a friend; I have plenty of those already. I’m looking to be in a serious relationship. And if you aren’t willing to call pursuing me what it is, I’m not interested.”


No more of these half-hearted attempts at getting to know if you like someone enough to be vulnerable with them and show them your heart. Show them that you have a heart. Guess what people. It’s not a secret that you have a heart. So can we PLEASE stop being so superficial about feelings.

Can we PLEASE stop being so vague about intentions. If you aren’t ready to date with marriage as the end goal, stop dating.

If you aren’t even willing to call a date a date, stop asking people to “hang out” and work on yourself first.

Be bold.

Be honest.

Be transparent.

Be vulnerable.

Be willing to take emotional risks every once in a while.

If you’re currently in a vague situation, there’s hope. Call out the Vagueness.

Repeat: do NOT settle for the vagueness. You’re worth clarity.

You’re worth clarity. You’re worth someone pursuing you like crazy. There is someone out there who wants you wholeheartedly; not half-assedly. There is someone whose heart will beat for you. There is someone out there who won’t take “no” for an answer. Wait for that person.

Do NOT settle for the vagueness.

Time to challenge each other to live in the light. Intentionally. With boldness, honesty, and clarity. Let’s do each other a favor and stop wasting each other’s time if we aren’t meant to be with that person.

Don’t let fear and lies tell you that you will always be alone. If you’re with the wrong person. you are robbing them and yourselves of the right relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The one that God has for you. Don’t let fear drive or control you.


Let’s be intentional with the short amount of time we have in this life.

I’m excited for us.





dear past subject of interest

oh how I used to get so mad.

in this day in age of text messages. the do’s and don’ts.

the should-i-text-you-first-or-wait-for-you-to-text-me

the you-waited-fifteen-minutes-to-reply-so-i-must-also-wait-fifteen-minutes-so-as-not-to-appear-more-interested-than-you-or-desperate-or-too-available

by golly

I used to sit around and wait for your reply. And then when I would get it, I wouldn’t send one back. Not until enough time had passed. I wanted to seem apathetic about the whole thing. Like I didn’t really care whether I heard from you or not.

but oh how I cared.

apathetic? more like pathetic


texting. what a wonderful, terrible invention. a convenient, terribly inconvenient platform for the control freak who’s pursuing a relationship.

with text messaging, and phones in general, we have direct 24/7 access to whomever we want to talk to; be it on social media, texting or calling. (if that person has a (smart) phone or social media or whatever, smarty pants. 🙂

so this dilemma is created where we can talk to people when we feel like it. and if we don’t feel like it, we don’t have to respond. and then there’s the games. the i’m-going-to-throw-this-person-a-proverbial-bone-to-keep-their-interest-so-as-to-feed-my-ego-when-i-see-fit

until of course, the recipient figures out the underlying intentions of the sender’s messages and wisens up (AKA stops replying). or better yet, somehow turns it around on the sender so as to give him/her a taste of their own medicine. but truly narcissistic, egotistical sender’s won’t care if the recipient responds or not because they have more than likely sent out more than just one message to one recipient, but many messages to many poor, hungry-to-be-loved-and-striving-for-affection-and-attention sort of folks.

so. why do we do this? i would say options. we all like to have options. and convenience. it’s highly convenient to send out a text to someone. takes very little effort yet can mean a lot to one person and very little to another. plus, nobody wants to die alone. some people have a hard time being alone for an extremely short amount of time; and present technology contributes to this “issue”. y’all have probably heard of the concept of how our “connected” world is more disconnected than ever before because everybody’s “plugged in” online and on their phones, but interpersonal relationships are suffering and being pushed to the back burner. conversational skills are going down the tubes and it’s becoming easier and easier to isolate ourselves from other people.

this is not normal, btw

it’s not how we were designed to live and be

we were designed to thrive in community with others

but i digress

this post was supposed to be about my ex-fake-half-assed-suitors


i have met a fair share of real men who are willing to put their hearts on the line and be vulnerable when it comes to pursuing a lady. men who are willing to risk calling a “date'” a date. and not “hanging out” or some other form of copping out of committing to vulnerability.

love is messy. can we just agree about that

but I love C.S. Lewis’s quote about it:

““To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”


ahhhh. beautifully said. applause. applause. <3 <3 <3

I think I must end there.

Be vulnerable, people. Be willing to put yourself out there and LOVE. Love BIG! Each moment is a gift from our sweet Lord…. and there’s no telling when the end will come for any of us. Not to be dark, but it’s reality. So LOVE

Always love.




dear somebody

my weakness

is physical touch

so i can’t be around you in certain settings

because I refuse to fall trap to

my weakness

is not as strong as it used to be

but my humanity

has yet to disappear completely

until Jesus returns

I still must guard myself against

my weakness

is to have the unobtainable

to chase the forbidden

is to obsess over the hypothetical

and it eats me

it devours me

when i let the


fester and multiply

but i didn’t try to let it

i prayed and waited

i cried out and stated

my desire for peace

my desire to move on

i asked the Lord to give me a new song

a new song

a song of waiting

a song of praise and thanksgiving

a  song of trust and forgiving

a song of truly, fully living

not being shackled by chains of “what ifs”

not being halted by what could or couldn’t be

not dwelling on things I can’t control

but it’s my default mindset to want to know

it’s the in-between, the season of uncertainty

that blurs my vision and traps me in inefficiency

my gears stop turning and i’m fixed on some reality

that only operates in the realm of a hopeful fallacy

but hey

it might not be fallacy

that’s the hope for a control freak like me

there’s always the “could be” that I struggle with waiting for

as I’m constantly checking my phone even though i swore

i wouldn’t for 2 hours but it’s only been minutes

because i convince myself i missed it

shoot i know i must have

and then the other side of me says

naww i think i was wrong

it was never the way i thought it was all along

so i go back to singing a new song

and think if i had been different so would my circumstance

if only i’d _____________________

then you’d have given me a chance

lies i can’t begin to figure out even if i tried

but i do, and i fail

because God only knows

why you would or wouldn’t reach out

since it’s all in His timing

and He’s got somebody lined up for me

and i hope it’s you


i believe it is

is that a crime


i love taken the broken and making it beautiful

believing in things that don’t deserve a second glance

because while there is breath there is hope

and all things can be made new

and the effort is worth it

always, always

even if for a moment’s satisfaction

a flicker of beauty

a spark of joy


so the open door beckons

and i go to it and step out

and i think i see you up ahead

i think i hear you call my name

as i get closer it might be a game

as i get closer it might be for naught

but there’s hope

a chance

and if nothing else

we danced a dance

of communication

and feeling out

each person looking

each person wondering

each person hoping

each person waiting


so Lord help me wait. Help me improve on the waiting. Help me not halt my life while I wait. Help me work while I wait. Help me worship while I wait. Help me worship and work. While I wait. Make me consistently faithful and dedicated. Not conditionally dedicated under certain circumstances of feeling loved or wanted. Thank you that You always love me and always want me. <3 

Mi maestro

Mi amigo mejor

Mi Padre eternal



the apple of your eye

when did you become the apple of my eye

when did you become my heart’s desire

when did seeing you pay attention to other people bring fire


she doesn’t even like you, I say

she doesn’t care like I do, I spit

I’ve thought about you a little too much and I need to go to bed now

fruitless is this


I can see

how so many

get caught up with

the romantics

it’s a lie

that it would satisfy

that cup was never meant to be touched

now you’re spending your life trying to fill it back up





you’re so cautious

standing back, anticipating the next move

moving slowly

doing nothing you might regret

saying nothing suggestive


how comfortable it makes me feel

not having to worry about pressure

not having to perform

not having to wonder whether you like me or not

i know you do, or you wouldn’t show up

you wouldn’t invite me

you wouldn’t come

you wouldn’t reach out

you wouldn’t respond

but you do 

and when I haven’t heard from you in a while, I miss you

but then you appear again and I inhale a sigh of relief


my lymph nodes are starting to get sore, which is a sign that I am exhausted

I *did* get up at 4:30 in Orlando this morning to catch my flight. It is now midnight.

Lord help me sleep soundly and restore my body. And please restore my mind and heart and make me a living sacrifice for you; not getting distracted by so many and so much. I am Yours.






I’ve missed being here. But I’ve been purposefully avoiding writing so I didn’t say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Timing is everything



Clocking hours at work. The more time I spend here, the more $$$ I get.

But time is so precious. There’s only so much free time… And I like to use it carefully. But I don’t always. Lots of times I squander my time

And then wonder where it went.

Where did the time go?!” I like saying that when I am overloaded with unaccomplished tasks.

Or perhaps when something is sooooooo fun and I don’t want it to end.

Like dancing. I never want dancing to end! And the time just goes! Just flies by. I never look at the clock when I’m dancing. Unlike when I’m working. Or when I used to be in school and the time would drip slowly by like a slow-forming droplet on a leaky faucet













Time used to drag on by a lot. Not now though. Time seems to fly by. Days and weeks cascade down the waterfall of my life with rushing force; while the pool of my dreams and desires overflows over the riverbanks and spills over into smaller pools nearby. When will I get to all of the things I want to accomplish.

“I don’t have time” I told my cousin today when she asked me how the book was coming along.

My pastor asked me the same thing the other day to which I replied “it seems that maybe God doesn’t want me to focus on the book right now because my plate is full… I just can’t find the time”.

I don’t think I’ve ever gone on looking for time like I’ve looked for my phone charger. If only it were a tangible item that I could stack up and keep in boxes or on shelves and access the store whenever I was running low or running out. Then I could trade it with other people for other things if they were desperate. Though I’m not sure what I would want to trade it for. Maybe love

Aren’t those the most important things. Time and love.

Time to have to spend with those you love, or to spend doing the things you love doing.

Though love would not be an easy trade, even if someone really needed the time. But what would that love look like anyway. Trading love.

I could think of a few unbecoming ways but wouldn’t actually trade time for that kind of love.

Real love is what I say I want but I’m not sure that’s what my heart actually wants.

Because real love waits until the proper time to be accessed. Selfish, self-centered, self-seeking “love” is not real love at all.

Real love trusts God, and is given by God.

Real love doesn’t pressure.

Real love forgives and doesn’t hold grudges.

Real love is flexible and willing to change.

Real love is dynamic. Like dancing.

Dancing is dynamic. Dancing is alive.

Real love is alive too.

Real love sacrifices.

Real love considers the other person higher than themselves.

Real love serves.

I say I want real love … but my heart tells a different story.

A story of wanting to be loved. But maybe not to really love.

Time and love.

If that’s what it’s all about, then real love must be worth waiting for. Love with the right person.

Don’t settle for just anyone. Some people are so ready to hurry up and get married that they don’t care who it’s with. Not I. I care. I know that much. Though I wish it were soon or I wish it was known that I would find it or that it would find me.

How much time do I spend thinking about love.

How much time do I spend thinking about me?

I would like to focus my energies and efforts elsewhere.

Lord, please stretch my time and focus my heart on the tasks that you’ve set before me. Help me perform well at whatever “post” you set me at. Help me fulfill my duties and help me not be distracted by the schemes of the evil one. Help me resist temptation and remember why you placed me in the places that you placed me in. Help me remember that it was You that placed me because you know better where I need to be and how I ought to be using my gifts. Help me not squander my gifts; and in asking that, I ask you to help me not squander my time that I could be using towards making use of the gifts you’ve given me. Amen.

Time for bed. 1:29. Gotta get some good sleep so I can have a great week.

Thank you Lord for rest and this bed and my laptop and so many opportunities coming up to enjoy this life and keep my eyes on the Lord as I worship, work and wait.




I get it

I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, so I didn’t say anything. And now I’m thinking that may have been worse than if I did say something.

I let actions speak for the words that I couldn’t formulate and I realize it’s soon. I wish it weren’t so that things get harder as we get older.

That alternate world you spoke about, I am wondering if it actually exists somewhere. And if it does, I’m sure lots of good is happening there.

I’m sorry that I didn’t have the courage or the boldness. The know-how. The truth is that I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I didn’t want you to overthink it. I didn’t want to ruin your night or prevent you from coming out. These are my own thoughts that I projected onto you of course. And it may have hurt even more to have handled it the way that I did.

If that’s the case, I hope you will forgive me. I didn’t aspire to be in this position. It’s all come on very fast and I’ve been taken by surprise. Life can happen so so fast and even if we think we are prepared for anything, things still take us by surprise.

I’m surprised. Nothing is certain, but I am surprised.

And sorry. I am sorry. And I understand. I hope you will too…



Why can’t we be friends?

This isn’t the lyrics to the infamous Smash Mouth song from 1997.

I’m talking about being friends with guys. Is it possible?


I haven’t thought so for years. Rewind to high school: sophomore year. My honors english teacher told us that every relationship is built on some level of attraction. He said that guys and girls, that are friends, must be attracted to each other on some level. I took that to heart.

Fast forward to about four years ago when I read C. S. Lewis’s “The Four Loves”. In the friendship section Lewis writes that men and women have no business being friends. He says that friendships between men and women will end in one of two ways: romantic love between the two people, or one person falling for the other romantically, and the other not reciprocating.

I have ALWAYS had this experience with the opposite sex. Which is why I take the liberty of not keeping in contact with guys who seem to have a crush on me.

I always thought I was quoting Gandalf from Lord of the Rings when I say “do not shed light where there is no hope” in reference to my decision to not talk to guys I’m not interested in romantically. Though I just googled that quote and it doesn’t seem to exist. I swear it’s somewhere in the LOTR or possibly the Hobbit. Oh well!

Point is, what business do I have talking to fellows one on one, building relationships, pouring in time and energy, if they seem to be interested in me, but I have no interest in them? Hmmmm

That’s what it is you know: energy. We only have so much energy to give out day to day. We only have so much time to put forth in our relationships. We can only juggle so many relationships as it is outside of working and sleeping, socializing, hobbying, family and friends. Especially when it comes to the opposite gender.

Think about it: why cultivate a relationship with someone that you KNOW is interested in you but you have little to no interest in them? I think where some people go wrong here is that they enjoy the flattery. It is flattering to be liked. To be wanted. To be admired. It’s nice when someone thinks we are cool and pretty and fun. So when they’re giving us attention that we want to get from somebody but there isn’t anybody else giving it, it’s natural and easy to accept the attention and roll with the conversations.

It can be hard to be direct with people about feelings though, even though we all have direct access to each other almost 24-7 with cellular phones. But communicating real feelings is a whole nother topic. And people don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings these days either. Not saying that we should set out to hurt other people, but there is such a thing as letting someone down easy.

So here’s the challenge: is someone hitting you up that you know you don’t want to entertain the possibility of a relationship with? Release them. If you feel as if you aren’t leading them on and are genuinely enjoying your relationship with this person and feel as if the relationship is beneficial and healthy to both parties, then great. Carry on. Continue.

Before you do anything, pray about the relationship. Ask God to show you whether or not it is profitable to be in contact with the individual. God cares about our relationships with others. After all, our most important relationship should be with Him, first and foremost!

Nuff words for the night. Thoughts on relationships? Can guys and girls be friends?

xxx <3


I’m in love with the idea of you

Yes that’s it, the idea of you. Red hair, ribbons and Russian roulette

I must be in love with the idea of you; smokestack cologne I’m not soon to forget

I think I’m in love with the idea of you, cute face, boy crazed I watch your eyes

The idea of you smells-strong-tastes-sweet like rain beneath the silver skies

The idea of you sits beside me in my room and on the couch at night

The idea of you speaks flattery into the ear on my left and right

The idea of you is the ideal you and idealized men lie to my heart

You come when I want you to and leave when I want you to and say words that cater to every demand

But I can only call on the idea of you and don’t receive any calls

The idea of you screams and shouts affirmation and gives me kisses and applause

What’s wrong with this idea of you; or perhaps I should ask what could be right?

Part of me wishes the idea of you would challenge me to a verbal fight

So I bury the idea of you under muffintops and indigestion

Minor abrasions and adult discretion

A short walk towards God with only minor progression

I’m sorry Lord for the ideas of him

I’m afraid the idol has taken a stand

I’ve raised my head and my two open hands

I’ve memorized the future and potential plans

All according to the idea of him where wit and whim and whimsy thrive

Where thrice times two plus one is You alone and only forevermore

Lord I just didn’t want to be alone where dark and dim is my mood and heart

Lord I promise I do trust You and nothing can keep your love apart

Why would I worship the idea of him when I have a lover of my soul

A half that makes my own half whole

And I never have to feel alone

Alone is sometimes emptiness and sometimes busy wired trouble

Alone speaks lies and taunts my eyes

And makes me question if I’m seeing double

Alone I’m not, with me you are and ideal him doesn’t seem close

But the idea of him keeps tempting me and sparking interest where it intrigues me most

Misty air when clouds pass over

Dim my senses til October

Summer’s here but I wish it over

What’s the point if I’m alone

The lies pour in like rain pours out

And leaves me drenched in pools of doubt

Though on my solid Rock I stand

And I open up my lonely hands

While friends will bear their wedding bands

Where friends relate to me their demands

While the idea of you is love to me

Though I know that I’m where I should be

Yes the idea of you is pleasantry

But apart from you I know I’m free

Thank you Lord for protecting me

And making me the woman I’m supposed to be

Thank you Lord for directing me

Pursuing me & collecting me

For teaching me that love is only

Demonstrated perfectly

Through you alone, through you today

Today I beckon, today I praise.

Similarities Between Dating and Gardening (Also so for the ladies)

We’ve all heard the expression

“the right place at the right time”

and it turns out that

there’s simply nothing simple about it.


all flower pics were taken in my neighborhood!

God created nature to have order, and order means timing and placement matter.

Timing is everything. This post is about the importance of timing when it comes to gardening and dating. Believe it or not, they have a lot in common.


Planting the Seed

It’s spring time in April, which means it’s time to plant. Seeds and dating relationships. Starting the process of germinating and planting can’t be done too early or too late, but has to coincide with the season at its’ proper time.

In order to germinate a seed, the proper amount of light, warmth, time and saturation is needed. With too much or too little of these things, it will not germinate.

Dating is one in the same.

When a seed is germinating it takes anywhere from 24 hours to several days for the seed to sprout. Once the sprouted seed is planted, some seeds may grow into plants, and some seeds will not grow at all. Some plants will bear fruit, and others will not.


fresh parsley from the garden 😀

Dating relationships and seeds have a lot in common. Without time and patience at the beginnings of a relationship, nothing will become of it. Just like you can’t force a seed to sprout, you can’t force a relationship to sprout.

Application: Wait patiently for the seed to sprout before planting. Timing is everything. If it doesn’t sprout, don’t plant it (in the ground or in your heart


ermegerd this leaf is kinda heart-shaped :-}

The Growing Season

Once the seed/relationship has sprouted into something alive,

the right soil (…where you spend time)

water (…what feeds your relationship)

and sunlight (…energy sources/motivations) become very important. Without the perfect balance of these things, nothing might become of the seed/relationship. Some things will take longer to grow, and some will not grow at all.

Some plants are like the asparagus; slow to start. Did you know that a baby asparagus takes three years to start producing edible stalks?!

If I was in a relationship with asparagus, it would be hard to patiently wait for that fruit. 😉 <3

We never know what kind of relationship we may enter into. Prepare your heart for any kind; even if it takes years to cultivate.


I have creative neighbors.




Some plants are quickly abundant & massively fruit-bearing. All ya gotta do is toss some seeds at the soil and BAM you’ve got fruit. So if you don’t want melons in your garden this year, think twice about where you compost your melon seeds 😉
Or take potatoes. Stick a piece of potato in the ground and leave it alone. Wait a couple of months and you’ve got tens of pounds of potatoes! (Unless you also happen to have ground moles, in which case you had tens of pounds of potatoes 😛 )


Watering and Pruning

Other plants require much more work & TLC to grow.

As the saying goes, you reap what you sow.

Take kale. This plant requires more pruning than others, and if you don’t stay on top of pruning it, the plants will stop producing fruit to focus on producing flowers. Say bye-bye delicious garden vegetable, and hello to weeeeeeds.

Have you ever felt like you were wasting where you were putting your precious energy? Ever feel like you were pouring time, money, and energy into aesthetics (like kale flowers) that look all pretty and nice from afar but don’t reap any real benefits?

When plants aren’t pruned, they become lawn decorations rather than produce, kinda like this kale.

^ I had to dodge the sprinkler several times to get this shot. Funny for my roommates and neighbors to watch. 😛 But the flowers sure are pretty, aren’t they?? 🙂


Relationships are the same way. Some people click right off the bat and have great fun together; like potatoes. Buds spring up and grow rapidly. Life seems to have been barren one day and bountiful the next. <3

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Other relationships are immense amounts of work and require constant pruning, like kale. “Didn’t I just prune that off yesterday?” Translation: “I thought we just went over this. Must we deal with this again?”

If left un-addressed, the weeds overtake every good part of the relationship and suffocate it. What was once a beautiful bed of flowers and life becomes unrecognizable & useless.



Application: If you want a plant or relationship, be prepared for pruning. Pay attention to the weeds when they spring up, and prune back those bad parts to save the plant.




When to Harvest the Bounty

So what you’ve been growing looks mighty fine. And you’re seriously considering picking off some of its’ fruit. I will take it upon myself to warn you my friend; although the fruit looks good and tasty, it may not be ready to pick.

If picked too early, fruit tastes bland, crunchy and tangy.

Think back to a time you picked an apple or another fruit that wasn’t quite ripe. You couldn’t wait to eat it and dug your teeth into it’s semi-tough skin. Hardly any juice came out of it and your tongue was left feeling dry with a sour taste. The fruit was bland, chalky and hardly had any flavor.

You were so hungry and just couldn’t wait. The fruit satisfied your temporary hunger to an extent but you were left with the overarching feeling of disappointment, dissatisfaction, and a slight stomach ache. The rest of the bitten fruit suddenly wasn’t very appealing anymore.

You should have waited until it was ripe.


my phone takes good pictures

The same is true of physical intimacy in a dating relationship. Sex before marriage. There are many who don’t know what good sex (or fruit!) is because they only know it recreationally; outside the covenant of marriage; AKA when both individuals are “unripe” for sex.

Sex outside of the covenant of marriage versus sex inside the covenant is like the concept of having a perfectly okay knife for slicing tomatoes and then realizing how incredibly dull said-knife is upon the introduction of an excellent knife.

You can’t believe you settled for the knife you had before for so long without knowing what else was out there.


This is a good knife for chopping onions. Yes those are goggles for swimming. And they prevent onion-tears too! 😀

Don’t rush into physical intimacy in a dating relationship. The fruit is desirable, of course, but if you bite it too quickly it won’t satisfy you long-term. Trust me. It will be a much duller version of what it is when ripe; under the covenant of marriage; where commitment is a promise. Only under this context can you explore the depths of sex as it was meant to be created. Wholly, fully; a unity. This is the difference between recreation and something real.

Application: Wait to pick the fruit until it is is ripe.

I think Solomon sums it up pretty well in Ecclesiastes 3. Christian or non-Christian, this message of Truth will give you confidence and trust in times of waiting.

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:



  a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,


     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,


a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,


a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8



Gardening, dating, whatever the case may be,

timing is everything, as you can surely see.

Don’t jump the gun or haste & waste, or live your life for today

But live with an eternal lens and trust it’ll be okay.

Oh how I long for the flowers to bloom and the full sun to shine on my face

Oh how I long to be one with Him and never again feel pain.

Oh how I long for the joys of life and ache o’er all the sufferings

But thanks be to God for another day to learn Truth in spite of our wondering.


I hope you learned something here! Happy planting everyone!

xoxo V