3 suicidal birds just flew at my window. Okay 4. Wow. Or it could be the same one four times. The latter is more likely I suppose. Anywho
Today was one of those days that freakin’ dragged on like an unconscious body that’s tied to the back of a wagon being dragged through the mud. Is it super weird that that’s the first analogy that I came up with? Haha I ask a lot of silly questions. I know it’s weird. Sigh. This is why I’m single.
I’m single because God is preparing an AM-AZ-AZ-AZ-ing husband for me!
And he hasn’t come along yet. Simple.
Now back to my day. I checked my phone a lot. Have you ever checked your phone every five minutes to see if you have a message from someone and find yourself disappointed everytime your phone goes off and it’s not from the person you’re hoping? I did a little bit of that today. Which was a major improvement compared to yesterday when I got straight up pissed whenever the message didn’t arrive.
Here is the progression: check phone—> pissed —> sad —> hopeless mess —> DING!—> check phone —> even MORE pissed —> despair—> eats food —.> DING midway through chocolate bar; stops eating—> not the person —> CRIES AND WIPES TEARS AWAY WITH CHOCOLATE
Okay that dang bird needs to go away. Or maybe it’s a bat? Idk. Point is, it’s disturbing my PEACEFUL WRITING PROCESS ABOUT BEING PISSED OFF
Haha siiiiiiiiigh I love Saturday nights alone. Oh goodness, I sound like my mother. And for your information, I have not being alone until these very moments writing. I have been at Chick-fil-A with all the workers eating a solo, solemn, sandwich, and at Kohl’s picking up an online order so as to avoid picking things out in the store. And then to Trader Joes, where I always see somebody I know and doggonit, I did tonight too. Though my raging period hormones turned me into a strange version of Dr. Jeckle where I slurred all of my words and stood strangely with a canister of coffee in front of my chest like a Tyrannosaurus Rex might hold it with it’s tiny arms.
Yeah, another good reason to go home. Oh, and Wendy’s. That was the first stop that I made because 50cent frosty’s…. couldn’t resist. Ask me when the last time I had a frosty was. Fine, don’t ask. Probably 9 years ago when I gave up all fast food. And look at me now! I’ve come so far. Chick-fil-A and Wendy’s in the same evening! “Ohhh but Chick-fil-A isn’t fast food!” Come on, people. I get that you like how the chicken looks like chicken when you tear it open, but really. It’s fast. It’s food.
On a positive night. Note. I got to play a lot of guitar today. Which is pretty freakin’ wonderful. Though
My phone just dinged and guess who it wasn’t? Right.
Though, as I was SAYING! my right hand has numbness in my pinky and ring fingers up through my forearm. I believed it’s a result of a pinched? ulnar nerve which is up behind my right shoulder…. I tend to crush my right arm when I sleep at night HAH and then I wake up with a numb hand. Ha. Isn’t that great. Okay, I am so sorry. This is turning into a depressing post. Or actually it kinda started as one based on the title.
I’ve tried to train myself to sleep on my back, and I can even pretty much fall asleep on my back at first, but then I wake up with a numb hand and a crushed arm pretty much every night. I need one of those stretching machines from the Addam’s family where I can tie myself down and force my arms to be splayed out to either side so I won’t be able to crush them.
What do I have against my right arm anyway. This need to crush it is pure bullying. My arm can’t even fight back. I need to have a word with myself.
Aaaand there’s a sign that I’ve gone insane #pms #dyingalone #wordsarefunthough
Oh yeah, another reason why my hand might be numb is because I did a 15 minutes workout, DANGER DANGER watch out lazy people, a whoooooooooooooooooooole 15 minutes! aahahah
One of the exercises was “dolphin” pushups where you are on your forearms and then you push your butt into the air, kinda like an almost downward dog pose if you’re a yogi. If you aren’t your like what’s up with dolphins and dogs I thought I was gonna exercise
Look, idk who named these things, but my arm hurts, and I think it had something to do with that also, since I’ve suffered with elbow pain the last 3 years and have had to be very careful with doing ANY upper body stuff. AKA I haven’t really used my right arm. AKA I’ve got pancake arms. Luckily my arms don’t actually look like pancakes. That would be…. tastefully distasteful. hehe
9:29 probably should wrap this up. Tomorrow is Sunday and I’ve got Sunday school, welcome desk duty, church, then am getting coffee with a frand, then going to another more worshipful church, then a Luao cuz I know awesome people, theeeeen maybe a friends for the night.
Then to my cousin’s all day and night Monday! Then to work all day and night.
Then to a workshop on Wednesday… then maybe home for a few hours? Out to dinner…
Work all day and night. Work til 4, CAMPING NEXT WEEKEND!
So I’m about to be busy for the next week so I’m okay with doing nothing tonight. But I’m also kinda not okay with doing nothing. What’s wrong with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
k no dings. I’m gonna read and go to bed.
Love to all! <3