It wasn’t really raining, but it had been all day long. The sky was completely gray, but it was a light gray so as to let a percentage of sun shine through the clouds. 45%, I would say.
So it was something like this, except one shade grayer. Where it still felt early enough in the day, and it was a cool dusk. My smartphone was at home, on my bedside table, and I was glad to be accompanied by only God and nature.
…
It felt good just to be out there, walking. Taking in all of the scenery. And pondering.
Who am I? What type of woman am I becoming? Someone whose company I would wish to seek?
Have I grown colder, or warmer?
Rougher, or softer?
More kind or less.
More patient? Or less.
Has pressure made me into more of a diamond, or a broken vessel?
I want to be on a boat and hear the sound of the waves lapping up onto the sides. I want to see sea foam and watch it bubble onto land with the flow and quickly disappear into the sand. It’s so cliché but I love watching the water form a circle around my feet when the waves break on the shore. I taste the salty air in my mouth and feel a breeze circling around my head. I’ll be back to you soon.
…
And I began singing. Prayers, mostly. Giving thanks for all that I saw around me. And prayers for my feet and legs; the ability to walk. My mouth, my voice. I gave thanks for simple things that are usually subconscious; realizing that it was only by the grace of the Giver of these gifts that I was blessed with them.
Lord, I thank you that not only do You have my life in your hands, but You gave me my life. Now I ask you for Your strength to walk this life uprightly. To not grow weary of doing good works. To keep a perspective much bigger than myself. To look into the unseen, and see with Your eyes.
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7
Help my spirit worship You in every situation. Help me listen to Your voice and not miss a beat of what You would have me to do.
In order to get the creative juices flowing, I’m going to post a series of spring photos:
And after posting that one, I realize half of these daisies are dead. Awesome
The above photo is a bit blurry but it does show off my cute wittle teapot and favorite tea cup
I used an AI generator to make this picture of Jesus and I am absolutely amazed at the power of AI to generate images. Wow.
Like, how else would I get this picture of two baby potatoes holding hands under the moonlight?!?!! HAHA! I’m in loooooooove
Dude this is beach sand. Also kinda blurry, sorry, but I was amazed at all of the different colors, shapes and sizes of pebbles that made up the sand at this particular beach. WOW
Need a hand?
The beach is not as far as I think sometimes lol, I should go more often! Actually, here we are at the end of May… June arriving next week…. that means SUMMER sooo yeah I’m going to try on my wetsuit and get rolling. I’m a little nervous to surf cuz it’s been a couple years, but I’m lighter than I was in 2020 and have been doing strength training so I think I’ll be better at surfing this year! #agingbackwards <3
The only thing is…
If I’m for real gonna try and go a few times I need a surf buddy. My previous surf buddy is in a really busy season and won’t be able to accompany me, so I will have to find someone else. And find, I will! LOL my ambition is high when I keep my prize in sight. I should make a vision board with pictures of surfing, and maybe that’ll keep me focused. But also, weighing what my priorities really are… so let’s do that:
Relationship with God
Relationship with my husband
Other relationships with family and friends 🙂
Work work work work
Health and fitness
I mean that’s basically it lol
So now I wanna make a few goals. Always good to have goals so ya not just living a stagnant life. A good way to do this IS to make a vision board – you know what, I’ma do this and put all sorts of inspirational things on it including surf boards, healthy recipes, a picture of someone running and swimming, nature scenes…. I want to go outside for walks more, and go to the beach more… I want to drink lemon water each morning lol, and do good things for my health. I actually had avoided getting sick for over a year (minus a stomach bug) but got a cold recently. DANG lol but ayy one time in a year isn’t too bad.
Long story short, health, wellness, vital relationships, making time for enjoying God’s beautiful creation, working hard but not letting it rule your life… are all things that allow someone to truly live, and not miss all of the life around them!
My husband made me a delicious omelette recently, and went as far to make me a paper rose that he placed on top. He set out coffee and cookies. What a sweetheart.
Guys, if you’re feeling stuck, look at a few pictures in your camera roll and remind yourself of life, good moments. You will feel inspired after doing that. Everything I just wrote and came up with sparked from seeing the picture of the beach waves. It’s too easy to get trapped in our own minds these days and have technology suck the life out of us. Don’t forget about creativity. Don’t forget about using your God-given brain and all of the things you can come up with; plans, goals, ways to bless others… Let’s get out there and LIVE!
Oh yeah, and surround yourself with like-minded individuals. That is SO important. If you spend your time with people who are going nowhere in life, it’ll be much harder to get to the places that you want to go.
Guys it’s been at least 2 years since I’ve been to a dancing event. I think it was in October 2020 actually. But I am so excited to go! Dancing makes me really come to life!
It’s only February 10, but it truly feels like Spring is in the air!
Maybe the fragrance and beauty of these flowers my husband brought me are influencing me? 🙂
I have never been so excited for Springtime in all my life. I’m from northeastern USA where spring is wet and muddy. Snow and ice are melting, and the ground is soft and soggy. It’s still cold and maybe snowy until mid-late April, and sometimes May! But not here in Virginia. Even today, February 10, the weather is warming up to 62 degrees and it’s sunny! Hooray! Just what I needed to lift my mind, body and spirit ^_^ <3
I found this on a list of suggested Valentine’s Day gifts for your SO. LOL I don’t know who would buy this lamp, but it made me laugh a lot. Thanks Retro Den <3
Only a few days til Valentine’s Day 2022! It’ll be my first V-Day as a MARRIED WOMAN! I can’t believe that in just a couple of weeks we’ll have been married for 5 months already! Love is in the air <3 <3 <3 and I will venture to say that my husband is the sweetest and bestest! 😀 Lord, thank you for giving me such a good one 🙂
9/26/21 – I love this picture so much! <3
Life doesn’t have to be so hard. It’s when we focus on the mountains (obstacles/problems) in our life instead of focusing on the One who created the mountains.
Lord God Almighty, I am so grateful to know you and better yet, be known by You. You know everything about me and still love me more than I can understand. I am so thankful for your grace, mercy, provision, and Faithfulness. Thank you for being faithful when I can’t be. Thank you for sustaining me and remaining true to Your promises. Thank you for your patience and understanding and your long suffering. Thank you also for your justice and your might. You are so good, Lord. So holy, holy, holy. There is no one like You, O Lord. You are completely set apart and above all, in all and through all. Thank you for creating me and my family and friends and loved ones, and for delighting to reveal your glory to us in your creation and through our life circumstances. Thank you for teaching me how to suffer well, how to wait on You and how to listen to Your voice. Taste and see that the Lord is good. And I have tasted Lord. Better is one day in your courts, than thousands elsewhere. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever, thanks to your gracious gift of faith, that was so undeserved. Help me not stray from your presence O Lord. Fill me afresh with the Holy Spirit today and fuel the fire of the joy of my salvation. Help me live for you alone today, Oh Lord. In the precious and mighty name of Jesus, Amen.
Y’know, sometimes you just gotta write. So I’m coming atcha from Panera Braaads with my coffee and maybe, just maybe, a blueberry scone. And I’m sitting across from my twin who’s in her 80s and we both have dark-rimmed glasses and denim button down shirts on. It’s pretty awesome. Oh, yeah, and she has a blueberry pastry as well. A muffin, however. And we both have coffee.
And it’s a little quiet in here because we came at 10am instead of the normal 8:30. The reason being, we took a lovely walk this morning. And discussed women-owned businesses and the challenges that come with having one.
She talked about how men have a hard time reporting to women. That was in the nineties. I think it still happens somewhat today. And it definitely was way worse back in the day. I’m just glad that Jesus was always for fair treatment of women. He never degraded women. He only always elevated women. He taught and healed women. He first revealed Himself to a woman when he came out of the tomb. Galatians 3:28 says we are all equal. In Ephesians, husbands are supposed to “love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Essentially, husbands are called to lay down their lives for their wives.
People haven’t actually studied the bible and don’t know God, yet assume so many things about God and the way He works and the way He loves. They assume God is a misogynist who wants to control, objectify and suppress women.
Yet God laid down His life for women. All women. While it’s true that not all people are saved, it IS God’s will for all people to be saved. All men, and all women.
do you pout or do the next right thing? A little bit of both?
If you pout, how long do you do it for? Does it consist of pouting to yourself or complaining to anyone and everyone around you? How does that make you feel?
Kinda makes me think of a miserable slug leaving a trail of slime behind it. Eww
When things don’t go your way…
how fast are you to accept the change? Are you a fighter when it comes to keeping things the way they are, or do you ignore the changes, or do you embrace the changes?
For me, it’s a matter of if there’s something I can do about it, I do it. If there’s nothing I can do about it, I try not to worry about it. I ask God for peace about it. He is Faithful to give me peace!
We are all little control freaks at times. We have ideas of how things should look, when they should happen, how they should happen. Thank God that He is in control and we aren’t able to manipulate so many parts of our lives. God is always teaching me how to depend on Him more. However, my nature wants to depend on Him less. And that doesn’t lead me to very good places.
I don’t want to be darkened in my understanding. I want to have the wisdom that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, going where I’m supposed to be going, and embracing what God has me to be embracing. But isn’t that every challenge?
Isn’t every single challenge that comes along once from the Lord? Not that He causes or creates the issues. Think of it like this:
If God wanted to protect me from someone, He could.
If God wanted to make my business take off running overnight, He could.
If God wanted to me work hard to cater to people no matter what their response is, He would. He would find a way. Because He is God. And if we’re looking… we’ll see God in every one of the details. Every. One.
God is the big boss. And it’s night time. Gotta go to sleep, more later!
Today was an odd day. Well, this afternoon and evening was odd.
I started the day like normal… I was tired when I first got up, and frankly didn’t want to do anything. But I got up and made coffee and had some quiet time with God which was lovely.
Then I went to work. Then did some work at home…
Until I had to get up and move. Though I was starting to yawn. I started to get SO tired and thought it quite odd. So I put on some clothes to go running in, and thought I’d wake myself up that way. That’s when I started feeling anxious.
“Don’t run today.” was the feeling that I kept getting. I kept having that feeling as I was putting on my clothes, as I was heading to my car.
I then remembered a time when I didn’t listen to God and didn’t have peace about going dancing one night but decided to go anyway and didn’t have peace the whole way there.
I then thought about the fact that I was thinking about that other time when I didn’t have peace and then started thinking about the fact that I was connecting that time to this time. So I asked God “should I just go home?” to which it seemed He said “yes, go home”.
But I still kept driving to the park. Even though the light was red and there was nobody in the turning lane next to me and I easily could have done a U-turn and went home.
So I get to the park and I’m still questioning whether or not I should be at the park (a good indicator that I should NOT be at the park) and I park my car and start walking the 5.3 mile loop. I’m planning on starting to run, but I heard a nagging “turn around and go home” in the back of my mind. Or maybe at this point those words were at the front of my mind.
So I asked God for a clear sign that I should go home. I was looking down at the time. When I looked up, I saw not one, not two, but three crystal clear signs.
They were road signs, actually. And the first one said “Caution” and I walked by. The second one said “Do Not Enter” and I kept going. The third one said “Exit” with an arrow pointing back to my car.
It’s funny because I’ve done this trail countless times, but never noticed those signs before. I know I’m oblivious to begin with, but when you ask God for a sign and then He shows you three that all say “go home” after you pretty much know He’s been telling you to go home all along anyway, it’s time to listen.
So I left. And I went to the grocery store on the way home. Got some stir fry veggies.
Made a lil stir fry. With chicken. Yum.
And then all my plans were thrown out the window. I just felt like sleeping. I absolutely hit a wall. So at 6:30pm I went to sleep. And slept til 9:30pm. Then I went to work.
I’m about to go to bed now… 12:48am but I really wanted to share this experience with you. God is speaking. Are we listening? Are we really tuned in? Are we willing to trust Him and do what He says? Are we?
I’m not sure all of the purposes behind God telling me to go home. I don’t believe anything is ever purely physical, though He was definitely helping me take care of my body (I’m also going running tomorrow with a friend so I should preserve myself since I’m such a noob and don’t want to overdo it again. I have a tendency to start a regime too quickly and sabotage myself). I also believe there were many unforeseen spiritual implications going on that I may come to understand, but likely will not.
Long story short, God is in control. And when He takes your peace away, trust Him and listen. Lack of peace means STOP and LISTEN. Sometimes God will reveal obvious signs right in front of your face.
He is worthy to be trusted and worthy to be praised!
There’s no telling when they’ll come, or when they’ll go. All can look totally calm when a sudden storm occurs. Sure, our weathermen can predict. The arrival and departure, the severity. The impact.
But it’s all guesswork. It’s all a prediction. It’s a projection. It’s uncertain. Though one thing is certain:
God either sent the storm, or God allowed the storm. For He is sovereign.
Sovereign means: the Big Boss. Sovereign means in charge of everything. Sovereign means in total control. This is not to say that God is the great puppeteer and that we don’t have a say in anything that happens; no. The bible says that God is sovereign, AND we have free will.
What this means is this: God created me and gave me a mind, a will of my own, desires, tendencies, instincts. I’m a free agent, and may choose to do whatever I will.
However, God knows all of my thoughts before I think them. He knows all the words I will ever say before I speak them. He knows where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. His Word says that He has written all the days of my life before I was born.
This fact boggles me. God wrote all the days of my life before I was born. Dang. Even the boring ones. Even the ones when I was sick. This afternoon I wasn’t feeling super great– I think it’s because I ran hard yesterday and didn’t do something properly afterwards. Not enough water, stretching, maybe an ice bath was needed? I dunno. Also, I may have simply done too much. I biked after I ran too… and then it got chilly outside so maybe subjecting my body to the elements was where I went wrong.
ANYWAY.
God knew that I would take a nap this afternoon.
Followed by an Epsom salt bath.
God knew I would be actively listening to His voice, and what conclusions I would come to.
Entrepreneurship is difficult. I want someone to tell me what to do. I want to have deadlines and pressure that keeps me accountable for getting work done.
I sat there wishing I had a boss. Then God reminded me that HE is my boss. He’s me Overseer. He’s my Counselor. He’s my Father. I report to HIM. For He says in His word:
“Whatever you do, whether you eat or drink, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31
Whatever I do.
Whether I sit or stand, speak or am silent. Run or walk, or am still. Whether I read or write or send messages or make phone calls or pray or weep or laugh; I should do it all for the glory of God.
I repeat, entrepreneurship is difficult. It requires a lot of research on my own to come up with business plans that actually work, time management that’s actually realistic, and goal setting that I can stick to. Sometimes I feel as though I’m juggling forty things at once and am not sure if I should give equal time to each one or really sit on one for a longer period of time.
To all you business owners out there, heed this advice: have some grace for yourself, especially if you’re a newbie like me. I shouldn’t expect myself to nail down an amazing business model and have a huge business after only a couple of months. I can’t help comparing myself to other people and see how they have advanced in a short time which gets me down sometimes. But it’s important to remember that those people are the anomalies.
Success requires small steps over time. Success requires many failures. Success requires consistency and being disciplined and picking the next right task and doing it. Success requires not attaching emotion to any outcome, and being okay with people expecting you to fail.
NF really did have it down in his song “Remember This”:
“These people gon’ tell you that you will never make it
Then when you do, they gon’ say they knew you were goin’ places
That’s just how it works, next thing you know you’ll be overrated
Hearing people say they miss the “old you, ” it’s crazy, ain’t it?
And perfect people don’t exist, so don’t pretend to be one
I don’t need pats on the back from people for my achievements
When I die I wanna know that I lived for a reason
Anyone can take your life, but not what you believe in, no”
Actually, the whole song is fire for entrepreneurs… it’s all about going and getting what you want out of life.
On that note, I’m going to go do what fills me up now.
It’s people like her that encourage me to go on, and I do.
But Lord, I’m waiting on your move. I’m waiting on your time. I’m waiting on your green light. I’m waiting on your sign.
I’m waiting on your guidelines, I’m waiting on your words; I’m waiting for you to tell me when to back up or go forth.
You’ve handed me the tools. You’ve handed me the script. You tell me not to worry, you say you have a grip
Over my life
Over my pain
Over my future
Over my gains
My losses
My wins
My friendships
My heart
You’ve told me you’ve set me apart.
“Let you light shine before others” is one of your commands. “Don’t hide your lamp under a basket, put it on a stand. Stand up for the whole room, for all the people to see. Shine brightly on the hillside, like a well-lit up city.”
Shine. Shine. Shine for Jesus. Mind. Mind your wants and needs. Be mine. Be mine you whisper to me.
You wrote it in a letter. You tell me to read it and remember. I forget from January til December. You’re always sending it back to me. I rip it up and it reappears in my mailbox. I crumple it and it reappears in a message on a screen or from the mouth of someone in passing.
“Are you listening? I said ‘I love you'”
I’m listening. You told me through her, and so many others.
Friday night.
About to go to work.
Work tomorrow.
And sabbath.
Easter Sunday.
It’s strange because normally I have things to look forward to.
Is this beautiful life not enough?
How about contentment.
I say that I am.
Sometimes I am.
Usually I am, I would say.
Though it’s hard during this time.
When we’re so limited.
Though I love the rest.
I love the routine.
I love the cooking.
I love the exercise.
I love… the bible study.
I love the intimacy with the Lord.
Yes. Sitting in His presence.
And He speaks.
And He answers prayers.
And He is so sweet.
Where have I been? You’ve been here all along. And I?? I miss your presence. Yes, You’ve reminded me of Your sweetness yet again.
I have started SO many drafts on this blog. I usually start them when I’m exhausted and half asleep. Like meow. Though I need to get up and go to work. Going to text my client now actually.
Texted her. On my laptop. What an amazing world we live in. God is so incredibly amazing to have given us the capability to come up with all that we have. Simple amazing. Indescribably so.
Lord God, I am so privileged. You have just reminded me of the revelation I had the other night when I was turning the key on my back door. I though, Lord THANK YOU that I have a back door and a key to turn into it. You provision is insane. And I recognize that I’m only here in this house because of your goodness and grace. I love it here. It’s perfect for me. Thank you Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for teaching me discipline. Thank you for teaching me how to live on my own without resorting to escapist activities. You have brought me SO far. I love and rely on you completely.
