It wasn’t really raining, but it had been all day long. The sky was completely gray, but it was a light gray so as to let a percentage of sun shine through the clouds. 45%, I would say.
So it was something like this, except one shade grayer. Where it still felt early enough in the day, and it was a cool dusk. My smartphone was at home, on my bedside table, and I was glad to be accompanied by only God and nature.
It felt good just to be out there, walking. Taking in all of the scenery. And pondering.
Who am I? What type of woman am I becoming? Someone whose company I would wish to seek?
Have I grown colder, or warmer?
Rougher, or softer?
More kind or less.
More patient? Or less.
Has pressure made me into more of a diamond, or a broken vessel?
I want to be on a boat and hear the sound of the waves lapping up onto the sides. I want to see sea foam and watch it bubble onto land with the flow and quickly disappear into the sand. It’s so cliché but I love watching the water form a circle around my feet when the waves break on the shore. I taste the salty air in my mouth and feel a breeze circling around my head. I’ll be back to you soon.
And I began singing. Prayers, mostly. Giving thanks for all that I saw around me. And prayers for my feet and legs; the ability to walk. My mouth, my voice. I gave thanks for simple things that are usually subconscious; realizing that it was only by the grace of the Giver of these gifts that I was blessed with them.
Lord, I thank you that not only do You have my life in your hands, but You gave me my life. Now I ask you for Your strength to walk this life uprightly. To not grow weary of doing good works. To keep a perspective much bigger than myself. To look into the unseen, and see with Your eyes.
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7
Help my spirit worship You in every situation. Help me listen to Your voice and not miss a beat of what You would have me to do.