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Haiiii <3

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friday nights

so my friday nights are pretty low-key. I work Fridays and Saturdays from 9-6 and am usually pretty tired Friday night. And anticipating the next long day. It didn’t help that last night I went salsa dancing and then to work afterwards… so I didn’t go to bed until 2am.

I was tired today. Also, I walked/ran 4.5 miles yesterday. It was mostly walking tbh… I haven’t ran in a LONG time. I had lots of extra energy yesterday because I binge ate a bunch of granola hahaaaaaaa shameful but true. SO I walked and talked on the phone with several people I love! One after the other, not a conference or three-way call lol

So it’s 8:46pm and I’m almost ready for bed. I wish I had more energy so I could go salsa dancing later tonight (at 1030pm lol). I contemplated taking a nap and then getting dressed up and going. But my right leg is sore around my knee from all the activity yesterday so I’m gonna take a rain check. It’s for the best.

But as I was sitting here in my house, after doing a face and hair mask and showering. And doing dishes/ boiling eggs for future meals, I contemplated the silence.




 

 




 

 




 

I had dinner with a friend yesterday and told her about my dreams and goals. To write, to produce music, to make videos. She said ” are you too busy or are you just distracted?”.

Yikes.

Well. I am a pretty busy gal.

But she has a point.

Part of my busyness is a distraction.

And then there’s the whole not-making-good-use-of-my-free-time.

Though I must have grace for myself becAUSE years ago I couldn’t do all the things I am doing now consistently because I was getting sick all the time. That was thanks to my eating disorder. Praise God for delivering me from the horrific relationship I had with food back then!

The only thing left to learn is portion control/not overeating. I’m getting there 😉

It’s taken a long time, but I’ve come a LONG way. Praising God!!!!!!!!

Anyway. I am a very hasty individual sometimes. I want to be the BEST. NOW! I run into things and then give up when it gets hard or falls apart.

When I’ve moved too quickly I throw in the towel because haste had made waste yet again.

But God is long-suffering. And He’s slowly transforming me to be more and more like Him every day. It’s a slow process. I mess up a lot and then cry out and ask “how come I’m still like this?”

But I’m not still like this. Like that. He’s made me a new creation. So before, I was stuck in a rut. But I’ve been moving forward for years. And comparing the Velvet the world sees now to the Velvet from years ago… is truly amazing. He’s turning me into a gem. 🙂 <3

It’s like at the end of Joshua when God makes a list of all of the battles that He helped Joshua win. There was a list of over 30 wars that they won with God on their side. Upon opening the bible and reading the list, one might think “why is this list included? Is it important?” And the fact is… YES it’s sooo important! It’s a long reminder of everything God did for Joshua and the Israelites. It’s proof that He was with them. It’s proof that He is for them.

Sometimes we forget what God has done and focus on what He hasn’t done yet. 

But when I look back on everything He HAS done it’s simply amazing.

<3

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Permission to rest. I’m giving myself permission. I don’t need to do anything tonight. I’m allowed to go to bed early when I’m tired. Or even if I’m not that tired. 🙂

As far as my dreams and goals and visions go: God is preparing me for those things. It’s all about timing.

So now it’s time for bed. 9:07pm. Lol

I wonder how long I’ll be able to sleep for……. 9 hours would be amazing!!!!!!!!!!! Make up for some of that lost sleep from last night.

Enjoy your night everyone.

xxx

<3

V

brrr

You can’t tell how cold it is by looking outside.

The sun is shining brightly, the sky is cornflower blue. A bit of wind can be heard in the distance, and a few leaves are rustling. But if you didn’t read the forecast, you would have no idea that it were 20 degrees outside.

Yesterday morning when I left for church, my car thermometer told me it was 63 degrees.

We dropped 40 degrees and change throughout the day and night because of the cold front that traveled down the east coast. Two days ago my mother told me they were supposed to get 2-3 feet of snow on Saturday night in New Hampshire. This same cold front that dropped dozens of inches of snow onto my family up north sucked up dozens of degrees from the state of Virginia.

But you couldn’t tell by looking outside. It looks beautiful out there. And it is beautiful out there. Beautiful doesn’t always mean warm.

That’s how I feel about myself and my emotions. “Wow, isn’t she vain”. Some people might say. But I’m okay with that. It’s good to know you’re beautiful.

I remember a few years ago before I knew my true worth, my cousin would refer to herself as beautiful or hot or attractive and I would be jealous. I would judge her a little bit, be jealous of her a little bit, and question if it was okay to say such things about yourself.

Turns out it is. It’s okay to know you’re beautiful, and be warm about it. There’s no need to pretend that you aren’t beautiful. Because you are. I know there are some things you don’t like about yourself. It might be your skin. It might be your teeth. It might be your stomach, or your arms. It might be your wild hair, or your short torso, or your fat ankles. But you are beautiful.

You are beautiful because you were created. You were thought of, designed, and created. With your specific face. And your individual body. And your one-of-a-kind personality. And your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations. Your mind, your heart. Your soul.

You were created in the image of God.

And He made you utterly beautiful.

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone knew how special and beautiful they were? Then again, there are those folks who know a little *too well* how beautiful they are 😉

But for you who are doubting your beauty and your worth, know this: you are amazing.

You are a living, breathing, amazing, beautiful creation. You have such worth.

Sometimes when I doubt my beauty or worth, I go to the psalms.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

God knew what He was doing when He made you.

Now.

Don’t you spend one more second pitying yourself. I want you to get out there and have a great day. I want people to know how warm you are. I don’t want you to be beautiful and cold. Be warm and be light to others. If people can’t tell if you’re warm or cold, it’s because you can’t tell if you’re warm or cold.

So which are you?

Love yourself, but don’t spend too much time loving yourself.

Give God the glory for creating you, and then give back to Him by pouring out love and blessings on others! Being consumed with ourselves is a waste of time and energy. We are awesome creatures, but we gots to share our awesomeness with other people who need our gifts!

As for going outside today, bundle up east-coasters/Virginians.

This turned out to be an interesting post. I love starting somewhere with no particular direction and seeing where it ends up.

Carpe diem & happy Monday you beautiful people.

xxx

<3

V