Obedience

Lord, I am asking for your help today. I need help being obedient in the little things. I need help tending to the daily chores such as cooking and cleaning up, doing laundry, tidying up the house. I need help being obedient in this season of life, where although it is a fun season of being newly married, I still struggle with the need to want to do more. To be more. To have accomplished more. To have traveled to more places and grown deeper roots in my ministries. But you, Oh Lord, are saying one thing to me: be obedient.

I wish I could take a nap in these fluffy branches. (I’m tired lol )

Discontent arises when I am not looking at you closely enough Jesus. When I lose sight of how big you are and how great you are. How powerful you are. How wise you are. How patient and firm you are. How available you are. How caring you are. How your timing is perfect and you don’t give me what I don’t need.

Lord, I thank you for teaching me that when I am faithful in the little things, you give me more things. Thank you Jesus, for using whatever means to make me more faithful in the little things. Thankyou for teaching me consistency. Thank you for making me more consistently healthy. Thank you for using me to serve in the capacity that I am serving. Lord, make me grateful for all the work you have given me.

Lord, help me practice your presence and train my mind to think of you first. Thank you for daily changing me to look more like you and less like me. Though I thank you that the essence of me that you created me to be- a worshiper of you- is displayed more and more as I walk with you. Thank you for answering prayer and for always being so faithful. You ARE Faithful. Faithful is your name, Thank you for blessing me with so many good things in my life. My house, my car, husband, health, your Word, food, finances. Fun times. Love. Such amazing love. So many loving people and relationships. Lord, more and more I need you. I see how I need you completely. How I depend on you for everything. Please teach me to trust you more, and believe your word for who you are and what I have in you.

You are so too good. So good. Perfectly good. Help me to honor you in ALL that I do. Not to get caught up in my emotions, my feelings. Not to get stuck focusing on myself, or to make it all about me. Lord, thank you for putting the right people in my life that I can learn from. Please help me be willing to learn from them! To appreciate their perspective. Thank you for giving me discernment to know what is True and Right. Thank you for helping carry out what is True and Right. For your glory, in your name, the name of Jesus. Amen.

xxx

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the union of marriage

I am grieving the loss of a relationship. One that I really wanted to work out. And now I’m sad.

Sad that he didn’t make me feel like the only one.

Disappointed that I hoped so much that that would change.

Sad that I won’t be hearing from him regularly anymore.

Disappointed that I didn’t stop it before it got to this point.

Sad that my own disobedience is what got me here.

Sad that I’ve dated so many people in the past that I have expectations of what I’m looking for in a man and how I want to be treated. Ignorance is bliss, but I’m not ignorant to this.

But on the same hand, he isn’t ready. He never was ready to commit to one person. One woman. One wife. He wasn’t ready to become one with another person.

That’s what marriage is all about. Becoming one. The union of marriage is two people coming together and choosing one another over everyone else. Marrying one person is saying I will love you and serve you and choose you everyday for the rest of my life.

It’s not being enticed by other people. It’s recognizing that every person is made in the image of God and has ups and downs, pros and cons, flaws. Every person has a beautiful soul and mind given to them by God.

Choosing to love just one person means wanting to know them from the inside out. It’s getting to know their heart. It’s focusing on only them. It’s not putting your eggs in several different baskets in case it doesn’t work out. It’s putting your heart on the line and trusting and believing that the person you’re giving your heart to will love you back.

Lord Jesus, I am so sorry and sad that I disobeyed you and tried to make my own way with this individual. You didn’t want me to go that day because you knew he wasn’t right for me. I injected myself into his life and tried to change him and save him and make him fit for me and it didn’t work. And now I am so, so sad. Your Holy Spirit is a rescuer. You rescued me and challenged me to obey you this weekend. And so last night I did. I broke it off with him. It was time. Oh Lord. Thank you for rescuing me. For caring for me. For showing me the way in which I should go.

Lord I pray for clarity. I ask you to give me clarity in Jesus’ name. To help me see you in this situation. Reveal anything to me that I need to work on, confess for, repent of, and work towards. I am your vessel and recognize that I am not my own. Help me to serve you better and seek Your kingdom and Your righteousness first and foremost. 

Amen.

xxx

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