Tag: joy

Obedience

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Lord, I am asking for your help today. I need help being obedient in the little things. I need help tending to the daily chores such as cooking and cleaning up, doing laundry, tidying up the house. I need help being obedient in this season of life, where although it is a fun season of being newly married, I still struggle with the need to want to do more. To be more. To have accomplished more. To have traveled to more places and grown deeper roots in my ministries. But you, Oh Lord, are saying one thing to me: be obedient.

I wish I could take a nap in these fluffy branches. (I’m tired lol )

Discontent arises when I am not looking at you closely enough Jesus. When I lose sight of how big you are and how great you are. How powerful you are. How wise you are. How patient and firm you are. How available you are. How caring you are. How your timing is perfect and you don’t give me what I don’t need.

Lord, I thank you for teaching me that when I am faithful in the little things, you give me more things. Thank you Jesus, for using whatever means to make me more faithful in the little things. Thankyou for teaching me consistency. Thank you for making me more consistently healthy. Thank you for using me to serve in the capacity that I am serving. Lord, make me grateful for all the work you have given me.

Lord, help me practice your presence and train my mind to think of you first. Thank you for daily changing me to look more like you and less like me. Though I thank you that the essence of me that you created me to be- a worshiper of you- is displayed more and more as I walk with you. Thank you for answering prayer and for always being so faithful. You ARE Faithful. Faithful is your name, Thank you for blessing me with so many good things in my life. My house, my car, husband, health, your Word, food, finances. Fun times. Love. Such amazing love. So many loving people and relationships. Lord, more and more I need you. I see how I need you completely. How I depend on you for everything. Please teach me to trust you more, and believe your word for who you are and what I have in you.

You are so too good. So good. Perfectly good. Help me to honor you in ALL that I do. Not to get caught up in my emotions, my feelings. Not to get stuck focusing on myself, or to make it all about me. Lord, thank you for putting the right people in my life that I can learn from. Please help me be willing to learn from them! To appreciate their perspective. Thank you for giving me discernment to know what is True and Right. Thank you for helping carry out what is True and Right. For your glory, in your name, the name of Jesus. Amen.

xxx

<3

V

Joy

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The difference between happiness and joy is this: happiness is fleeting and joy is a state of being.

By the power of the Holy Spirit I can remain joyful throughout any situation. No matter how many fiery darts are flying in my direction; darts of disappointment, discouragement, disdain, detestation (wow, this is a word… I like it!!! even though it means “intense dislike” hhahah 🙂 )

As the darts roll in, I can let them roll off. My back, that is.

How?

Because of the knowledge of the Truth that I am in Christ Jesus and was bought by His blood when He died on the cross 2k years ago. I trust Him with my life, and know that I stand victorious with Him against any schemes that the enemy might conjure up.

So. That being said.

I’m at an interesting time in my life. I am still working as a private, in-home caregiver. I also just started a new endeavor doing direct sales. Direct sales can be discouraging if I choose to focus on the outcome of my reach-outs. What I mean by this is simple: rejection.

Nobody likes to be rejected… but if you are working in direct sales, you have GOT to get used to rejection. Not everyone is going to like the products, want the products. Some people may even get nasty. But I know this to be true: the war is not against the flesh and blood, but in the spiritual realm. So when people take out their negativity and hatred on me, I must choose to look past it and believe that (1) it ain’t about me (2) it certainly ain’t about vegan, chemical-free, anti-aging shampoo and skincare (this is what my company offers! <3 ) and (3) I have a real opportunity to shine the light of Christ to each individual through my response to people.

Notice I said “response” and not “reaction”.

A person’s emotional intelligence (EI) can be observed through the way they deal with certain situations. When someone is being difficult, I could mirror back their pettiness and anger to them (as they might expect me to do), or I could treat them with love, compassion, and forgiveness and choose to focus on listening to them and helping them in whatever capacity. This is not to say that we should be rugs.

Don’t be a rug. Repeat: do not be a rug. I don’t want anyone to enable anyone. We are not to be enablers of bad or rude behavior.

But loving? Yes. We should all always be loving. I will listen to you. Even if you come at me from a horrible angle. Because I KNOW that it isn’t about me. Whatever work the Lord has me doing is for my sanctification, His glory, and for the sharpening of other people; be it shedding light in a dark place, encouraging others when they feel alone, enhancing somebody’s life by simply entering into their life.

Being a child of God is a big responsibility! But God didn’t leave us to do it alone. We are empowered by His Holy Spirit.

One of my favorite prayers is this: “Lord, please redirect me if I need to be redirected. Thankyou for always leading me down your path of righteousness. Lord, please line up my will with yours, and kill my desire for anything that isn’t in your will for my life. I want to live according to your design. I want to live life to the full, through the lens of grace.”

Something like that.

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No two prayers are ever the same. None of that ritualistic stuff. I talk to God like I talk to any other person. Openly, honestly, with transparency, authentically. For God knows the words we’re going to speak before we even think them. Isn’t that amazing? Psalm 139 says “even before a word is on my tongue, you know it altogether”.

Lord, you knew that I was going to write this post this morning. You knew that I wanted to go to the early service but then I got held up … and this is the result of that. Lord, I pray that this post and these words blesses somebody. I pray that these words were exactly what somebody needed to hear today. Lord, I thank you for your presence with me right now. Thank you for the opportunity to do laundry this morning. I thank you for my car. I pray that you help me travel safely. Thank you for being able to worship today. Thank you for my lunch meeting. Thank you for the afternoon meeting. Lord help me make good use of my time later. Thank you for my sabbath this weekend. Thank you for restoring me. Your presence is so sweet. Thank you for teaching me how to choose you. Thank you for instilling within me the desire to seek you. I need you. I NEED YOU. Not only do I need you, but I WANT YOU. Do I believe you when you tell me that you’re the lover of my soul? That you love me with an everlasting love? When love is in the air, I just want to HEAR from the person. I can’t wait to SEE the person. I can’t wait to COMMUNE with the person. I VALUE and RESPECT the person. I want this with you. 

I want to hear from you.

I want to see you.

I want to commune with you. 

I value you. I respect you. I trust you. 

<3

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Whatever your vessel is that God has given you to work in, lead in, be a part of, perform in it for His glory. For HIS glory. For God sees the heart. He knows our motives. Do you trust Him?

<3

xxx

V

Relief

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Oh my goodness. What a relief it is to know you Lord.

You’re IT. You’re what gives me purpose. You’re the missing link. The missing piece.

You answer the “why” that I’m looking for.

Why am I here?

Why am I alive?

What’s the point?

How do I live in this jacked up world?

How do I survive?

How do I forgive people?

How do I take care of myself well?

How do I say “no” to doing and saying things that hurt me and others?

How?

 

You kept me awake all night the other night. I kept waking up, lurching forward out of a dream. A nightmare. I was in the passenger seat of a car and we were driving too fast. There wasn’t enough time to brake.

I kept waking up out of this dream and lurching forward to almost sitting straight up.

I know what You were trying to tell me. Hit the brakes. HARD. Turn around. Better yet,

get.

out.

of.

the.

car.

I’m in the wrong place, with the wrong person, heading in the wrong direction. And if I don’t hit the brakes, we’re both going to crash.

I knew that was You speaking to me through a dream. And people say You don’t speak through dreams. Ha

People say a lot of things

people say

people say

“people say”

it doesn’t matter what people say. It’s just words. But YOU, Your Word. When YOU speak…. we MUST pay attention.

 

Lord… 

Thank you that you know my heart and you love me the same. Thank you for the gift of conviction and the gift of knowing You and hearing from You. Thank you for calling my name and speaking to me. Thank you for redirecting me. Thank you for capturing my attention. Thank you for not leaving me alone to make bad decisions that I’ll later regret. Thank you for wanting me to look more like Christ and less like me. Thank you for properly posturing my heart to desire You. To love You. To not just modify my behavior on the outside for PEOPLE but to earnestly seek to love you with every cell in my body. 

Help me trust You with every detail. Help me not settle for the wrong car, for the wrong person, for the wrong trip, for the wrong direction. For the wrong motives. For the wrong outcomes. For selfishness. For personal gains. For thrill seeking. Lord I thank you that every thing you created is good… but it isn’t always the right time or place to enjoy Your creation. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy so much of my every day life. You didn’t have to do that. From the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to bed; I love my life. 

I love my life.

I love this life.

There are parts I want to change.

I am actively working on changing those parts.

There are parts that can’t change right now or maybe never.

I am actively working on accepting those parts. Even if that means giving them up again and again on the daily.

All we can do is the next right thing.

We must focus on the next right thing. We mustn’t focus on what’s lacking.

For the Lord is my shepherd, and I shall. not. want.

xxx

<3

V

A Letter to the King

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Lord, 

I love your proximity to me. I love how I can talk to you and how you listen. I love how you comfort me in your word. I love how you comfort me with your heavenly peace when I ask for it. Lord, I love how you gift us with imagination. I was imagining earlier today that I was in the mountains. I miss walking in the quiet trees and seeing the sunlight twinkle through the branches and hit different plants and flowers and leaves on the forest floor. I miss the smell of the earth with all of its’ mushrooms and twigs and beetles and birds and rocks. Lord I miss planting myself in your outdoor creation and reveling in the majesty of it. Will I go on a trip soon? I hope and pray so. 🙂 

Lord I thank you for all you’re doing in my life. The world would find that I’m strangely content in all areas of my life. I am at peace. I am overwhelmed by gratitude and love and a gentle sense of Your presence with me. I clutch onto this moment and hold it close to my heart. I ask you Lord, please keep me near to you. Help me draw nearer to you day by day and not be enticed by the world and its’ revelry. I thank thee for revealing to me where true life and freedom is. Thank you for freeing my mind to choose your ways… 

Lord, thank you for showing me where I have been actively rebelling against you. Where I choose to blatantly ignore the Holy Spirit as He kindly guides me and suggests the next steps to me. Steps that I have prayed for and asked for… but when I receive the instruction, I deny it outright. Foolish. I have been so foolish. I recognize this illumination as a gift. I just want to tell you, Lord, that I accept it. I want to be healthy. I want to prosper. I want to stand apart and lead others to your kingdom. I want to boast in your abilities and give you all of the glory for the work that you’ve done and the work that you’re doing in my life. 

These words are for you. Your word tells me that they are from you and by you and through you too. Your word tells me that you hold all things together. Thank you sovereign God…. for holding my little life together. I could write you a list a mile long of all the things that I’m thankful for in this moment, but instead I will praise you. 

Great Counselor. Almighty Savior. My Deliverer. Friend. The Christ. My Hope. My Peace. My King. My Father. Dad. The Truth. The Way. Life. Love. 

Oh, what love is like this? Your everlasting love that pursues and provides despite my rebellion. Despite my mistrust and mistakes, doubts and destruction. What love is this, that you wrote my name into your book of life. My name. You wrote my name. You knew me already. You knew what I would look like. You equipped me, before I was born. You aligned the stars and the seasons and the details of everything it took to bring me to the very chair that I’m sitting in today; knowing that I would write this very letter. You already knew that I would do this. You knew that my love for you would grow over time. That I would begin to piece together who you really are.

Yet that’s just it. My knowledge of you barely scrapes the surface. Not even barely. Hardly. The only thing I know how to do is surrender. Give you everything. Please Lord, please take everything. All I have. Take me, and every facet of my life and have your way!

“This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord.

“I will put my law in their minds
    and write it on their hearts.

I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.

 

No longer will they teach their neighbor,
    or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’

because they will all know me,
    from the least of them to the greatest,”
declares the Lord.

“For I will forgive their wickedness
    and will remember their sins no more.”

Jeremiah 31:33-34

 

You are Faithful, Sovereign King. You are putting your law in my mind and writing it on my heart day after day. I can’t help but turn to you. 

What love is this… that I should know the One who gives me sight and sound

What love is this… that He who sees my faults doesn’t cease to have me around 

What love is this… that reaches every corner of every frown and promises joy. 

I choose to rejoice, O Abba my KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxo

<3

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V

time for you

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I wanna have time for you. I want to hear you finish your story. I don’t want to be presumptuous and guess your next word. Unless you want my help, and are really struggling.

I want to value and treasure you and your friendship and not compare myself to you or be hyper-aware of your flaws to make myself feel better about me. I want to celebrate with you when good things happen to you and be sad with you when hard things happen.

I want to build you up and support you when you want to see better or can’t see all of your potential. You are worthy. While there is breath, there is hope. Nobody is too far gone, nobody is hopeless. Nobody is alone.

I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

I want you to know that I’m on this journey with you and want to be loved just as much as you. I want to be liked too, which is a struggle sometimes. Compromising for other people is so tempting because we want to avoid short-term discomfort. I want you to know that you don’t need to please everybody. Don’t please people. Stand up for what you know is right and good and true.

Stand up for God’s morals. It’s a high bar, but when we settle for low bars, we don’t grow.

I want to see you grow and get better. I want to see you succeed. Your gifts and my gifts are so very different, but God gave us both our gifts to further His kingdom.

I’m a writer. A singer. A wordsmith. A goofball. Dramatic. Passionate. Sensitive. An athlete. A dreamer. A dancer. A child of God.

You might be a scientist. An engineer. A programmer. A nurse. A mechanic. A machinist. A cyber security expert. A consultant. A salesman.

Whatever you do for work, do it well. Look for the good in it. Be grateful. Trust the process.

I’ve realized how easy it is to grumble and how very hard it is to look for God in every situation. The looking for God isn’t the hard part; it’s the awareness. It’s keeping in tune with the Holy Spirit and knowing that it’s Him who’s behind the scenes wherever we are: on the peaks and in the valleys.

God doesn’t leave us alone. To you who is feeling alone and feeling like there isn’t a point to the suffering you’re experiencing, I want to tell you something important:

it’s not for naught.

Your suffering has purpose.

I know you want to feel comfortable. I know you want to be out of pain. I know you want things to go back to where they were before. Maybe it seems like that anyway but where there is pain, there is truly gain.

I also hate that cliche… but it’s true.

I look out the window and see the raindrops on the window from this morning’s storm. I see the trees with leaves both green and brown and half of them on the ground. The leaves have died and fall to the ground. They give back to the soil and become part of the earth as the days and weeks and season passes by.

Parts of us have to die too, and fall away. To make room for new life. New thoughts. New habits. New patterns. New growth.

Our roots grow deeper with every season. As a whole we get stronger, and we produce more and more fruit.

Dear brother or sister, God is with you. Look to Him to satisfy you. Trust the process. Ask Him for comfort. Ask Him for peace. Ask Him for guidance. Ask Him for wisdom. Ask.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

 

My friend. I want you to know that the door is open…. the door to joy. The door to more.

To rejoice is a choice, and we must choose joy. In all things. Through all things.

Lord, I trust you. I trust the process. Lead me to show you to others. Thank you for giving us friendships and relationships and for showing us hope. 

xxx

V

Nothing can ruin my day

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It smells like Spring. It reallllly does. Mmmmmmm. I think of past springs and reminisce over the times. What it was like to be younger. The older I get the more complicated life is. And I’m only 25. HA! I have feelings too. I don’t care to think about how much MORE complicated things will get as the years pass by. I am here. I am alive. I am well.

 

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I saw this leaf on the road yesterday as I was taking one of my clients for a ride. I bypassed it and started to think about how I am much like this leaf. So much alive yet still has some beautifying to do. Some conforming. Some growing and changing. This leaf is partly dead, but it’s more alive than dead. Unlike this leaf, I will continue to grow and change and become better. This leaf is separate from the branch and vine, and will die. But I am a branch. And Jesus is the vine. I am alive through Him.

Like a spring plant drinks water from the stem as it filters up, providing nutrients and life and CO2, Jesus and His Word gives me the sustenance that I need.

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I didn’t know that daffodils could be so beautiful. They’re everywhere. But if you look at the flower closely, you appreciate the beauty, the design. The delicate petals. The bursting color.

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This flower is so tiny. It’s smaller than my pinky fingernail. But it’s so soft, bright, beautiful. Now if only the photo weren’t blurry.

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And then we have the cherry tree. Ha, at first I wrote “cheery” tree. It is quite cheery, don’tcha think? Although I think it may be causing some of my allergy symptoms. Oh heck, I’m sure it’s all of the lovely spring things that’s causing them. I never used to be bothered with allergy symptoms before moving to Virginia. What’s the deaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!!!!!!!!!!! But I’m still delighting. 🙂

 

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And the wishing flower. You may call it a dandelion if you wish. But I call it a wishing flower. I have always made wishes on this little flower. And every time I see it I pick one and make a wish, given the opportunity! There must be 100 little seeds that float out from this one flower.

So then. Spring is here. April will be here tomorrow. I am alive. I am well. Things are blooming all around me for my eyes to see. And so many things are blooming that I can’t see as well! I’m sure of it. 🙂

Happy Springtime! What can you find delight in today?

 

xoxo <3 V