FAITH

It wasn’t really raining, but it had been all day long. The sky was completely gray, but it was a light gray so as to let a percentage of sun shine through the clouds. 45%, I would say.

close up photo of pampas grass
Photo by Andrea Garibay on Pexels.com

So it was something like this, except one shade grayer. Where it still felt early enough in the day, and it was a cool dusk. My smartphone was at home, on my bedside table, and I was glad to be accompanied by only God and nature.

It felt good just to be out there, walking. Taking in all of the scenery. And pondering.

Who am I? What type of woman am I becoming? Someone whose company I would wish to seek?

Have I grown colder, or warmer?

Rougher, or softer?

More kind or less.

More patient? Or less.

Has pressure made me into more of a diamond, or a broken vessel?

I want to be on a boat and hear the sound of the waves lapping up onto the sides. I want to see sea foam and watch it bubble onto land with the flow and quickly disappear into the sand. It’s so cliché but I love watching the water form a circle around my feet when the waves break on the shore. I taste the salty air in my mouth and feel a breeze circling around my head. I’ll be back to you soon.

And I began singing. Prayers, mostly. Giving thanks for all that I saw around me. And prayers for my feet and legs; the ability to walk. My mouth, my voice. I gave thanks for simple things that are usually subconscious; realizing that it was only by the grace of the Giver of these gifts that I was blessed with them.

Lord, I thank you that not only do You have my life in your hands, but You gave me my life. Now I ask you for Your strength to walk this life uprightly. To not grow weary of doing good works. To keep a perspective much bigger than myself. To look into the unseen, and see with Your eyes.

For we walk by faith, not by sight.

2 Corinthians 5:7

Help my spirit worship You in every situation. Help me listen to Your voice and not miss a beat of what You would have me to do.

xxx

V

Listening to God

requires stopping the ongoing thought train in my own mind and being attentive to what God is saying to me. Sometimes stopping the train is difficult, but I have found ways to help me listen to Him speak.

Velvet. I have something to show you. Will you come and eat with me? Will you join me for a moment so I can share my heart with you.

If God is everywhere, how come it seems so hard to hear Him sometimes?

I think it’s because we’re not waiting in His presence for long enough.

It’s like working out. You can’t go to the gym for 2 minutes a day and expect the same results as someone who goes for 2 hours a day. Building up our faith muscles takes time and effort. Distinguishing between God’s voice and the enemy’s or our own is a skill to be honed. And it happens through time spent with God.

“Where can I go from Your Spirit?
         Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
         If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the dawn,
         If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,

Even there Your hand will lead me,
         And Your right hand will lay hold of me.”

Psalm 139:7-10

He is everywhere. When we are at home, He is there.

When we are at work, He is there.

At the grocery store, He is there.

At the gym, He is there.

Alone in the car, He is there.

At the beach, He is there.

In the dark, He is there.

And He is waiting to commune with us. We have the choice. To choose spending time with Him, or not. To choose hearing from Him, or not.

Lord, I thank you for your pursuit of me. I thank you for never giving up on me. I thank you for always sending me to the right places at the right times. I thank you for sending me the right people at the right times. I thank you for always taking care of me in the best way possible. Even with challenges and suffering. Thank you for making my ears attentive to you and for teaching me how to trust you. I wish I could trust you more easily. I wish I could believe your Word like I say I do. But I know that this will become easier the more time that I spend in your Word and in Your presence. Your word unto my ears and mind is like a fresh lens. The more I “put it on” and “put on Christ” and apply your teaching to my life, the more clearly I can see the design that you have for your people and for the world. Forgive me for always running ahead of you. Forgive me for choosing to focus on my problems and not trust you in this season. Forgive me for choosing to focus on what I DON’T have instead of all that I do. Thank you that you are my shepherd, and I lack nothing because of you <3

Listening to God. How could I not want to listen to Him!!! The Creator of the Universe… my goodness! The creator of all wants to commune with me. The God of everything is also the God of each person. My God. My Father. And He wants to commune with you too. He has a message for you. Will you carve out time today to listen to what He has to say? What is more important than communing with the One who knows you better than you know your self?

God Bless! <3

Kingdom Builder

I have recently had a revelation… I am a kingdom builder.
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Each day I mold a new stone, shiny and smooth, made of the same materials as bone.

stones

Each day I work to mix the wet with the dry. Each day I savor the hard work I sigh.

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I trust I’m building up and I trust it’s all for good. I trust that the masonry l’m learning is what I should.

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I’ve left foundation after another behind me so broken. Stone pieces so scattered; just temporary tokens.

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My new kingdom is a smaller but different work of art. I’ll never start over again, the bricks will never come apart. Wherever I travel I won’t start over new. The brick and the mortar of my saved soul is held with new glue.

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I’m building a kingdom, this time on a stone.

It’s different this time because I’m not building alone.

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I used to think it was easy to carry it all myself.

I’d keep the bricks in my closet and the cement on my shelf.

I kept the trowel in the bottom drawer and the level in my pocket.

I stored extra sets of wheels whose teeth were worn on every sprocket.

I was afraid to let go of the old and begin to trust the new.

I stored up materials for centuries, until I ran into You.

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“Give it all to me, dear one, and put your hand on the plow. Your kingdom work has just begun, and this time has eternal value.”

In me a sense of wisdom grew, that came from an outside source.

I trust I am working for good, without feeling regret or remorse.
Each day my fruit doesn’t always bear an obvious new rendition.

But focusing on my one true goal gifted me with ambition.

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My work is adding up, I didn’t leave any ashes behind me.

The future landscape is endless. And I have all of eternity. What I don’t finish today, I can always do tomorrow. Each moment is a gift, I give thanks and have no room for sorrow.

And the kingdom and the dominion and the greatness of the kingdoms under the whole heaven shall be given to the people of the saints of the Most High; their kingdom shall be an everlasting kingdom, and all dominions shall serve and obey them.’

Daniel 7:27

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Are your daily decisions contributing to building an everlasting kingdom? Or do their results go up in smoke at the end of each day?

Love xo V <3

Happy International Quit Day!

This isn’t a sad post about quitting something after trying and failing.

This isn’t a pathetic announcement of any personal dilemmas or misgivings.

This is not to seek attention, confirmation, or assurance.

wellwhatisit

 

 

 

It’s a celebration!

celebration

 

A jubilation!

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This is a moment to be shared and cheered upon. A holiday.

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A HOLIDAY!

International Quit Day.

The day where everybody gives up.

Stops what they’re doing.

Blows off their to-do list.

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I don’t mean quitting your job.

dearsirsiquit

Or quitting loving your family.yourstory_Quit_Job

 

Not quitting taking care of yourself.

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Or taking care of others.

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International Quit Day is about quitting trying to control all of the things you have no control over.

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I recently took a new job that requires living in a family’s home and helping care-give for a 95 year- old woman. By taking the job, I was agreeing to live life by this family’s standard. We eat together often, clean up after one another, offer each other coffee, tea, help with whatever we’re doing. Everything is a team effort.

This family has a way of doing things that have been established long before I got here.

'That's the new kid on the block.'

When I arrived I was looking for structure. I was looking for a schedule. I wanted to know when I was working and when I wasn’t working. I wanted to know whose turn it was for dishes, and whose day it was for getting up early.

All of my preconceived ideas of a “job” were challenged, and clashed with the family’s values and ideas.

I hardly knew anything for certain, except that I would certainly be challenged in the kitchen on who was making breakfast and how to load the dishwasher.

I was frustrated.

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I started praying and asking for guidance and understanding. And a message started to speak me from all directions:

“Just quit.”

 

Quit the negativity.

Quit the judging.

Quit the anger.

…the abuse.

…the resentment.

…the pride.

the haste.

anxiety.

worrying.

>>Stop being stressed over things you cannot change<<

Quit the control.

Because when we try to control everything, we get angry when we lose that control. We feel powerless. Because we are powerless.

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 The only being that has true control over everything is God.

He created the sun, and makes it shine.

…He also makes thunderstorms shake our houses.

He created the power and sometimes makes the power go out.

…He also decides when the power comes back on (and when the internet starts working again 😀 )

…Which relieves all the mommies and daddies in this world with child.

…Whose beautifully crafted fingers and toes were carefully placed on each baby, by God.

…Whose lungs are filled again and again with life-giving, God-breathed air.

He created us to depend on Him. He is a good father who loves us and loves taking care of us. There’s no need to get wound up in all of life’s many anxieties when he can lift our burdens and brighten our days, if we would just quit, and ask him to take over.

~

“Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation,

with prayer and petition,

in thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your heart and mind in Christ.”

Philippians 4:6-7

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We need God. He created us and put us on this planet. Without him, we are powerless. We must depend on him for superhuman strength. Ask him for it, and he WILL give it to you~ #Jesustheoriginalsuperhero #boastinyourweakness

So I decided to quit trying to do things my way. I gave up trying to control my environment. I confessed my part of the problem, apologizing for not being patient and waiting to see how I could step in and help, on the family’s terms; how I could weave myself into their family’s tapestry and introduce my needs alongside their routines.

 

>We first talked, then cried, prayed, then laughed 😛 <3 <

And I’m not upset, now that I surrendered my problems to God. #boastinyourweakness

I’m not anxious now that I’m trusting God to unfold his plan in his time. #imlostwithoutyou

 

I asked God to lift my burden, and He told me to relax, and just Quit. He’s got this. #inGodwetrust <3

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And now, I’m free~

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Every day can be International Quit day. Who knew giving up could be so satisfying? And smart! IQ day anyone?! 😉

Love you all! <3

V

Stepping Heavenward — Book Review

Two different people gave me a copy of the same book for Christmas this year. I figured it was doubly important for me to read it. I’m so glad I did. The book is called Stepping Heavenward: One Woman’s Journey to Godliness by Elizabeth Prentiss.

steppingheavenward

It’s a journey through the diary of Katherine, a sixteen year old girl growing up in the 1800s. It’s completely written in entry form, with lots of embedded dialect. The entries are sometimes daily, sometimes with months or even years in between.

Katherine, often called Katy, struggles to find peace with first her mother, then her husband, Aunty, sister-in-law, and many others. But above all, Katy struggles to understand what it really means to have a relationship with God and surrender herself to Him.

I knew from early on in this book that I would take a lot away from it. In many scenes, Katy describes her “Mother” asking for help with something and Katy responds in a hasty, rash manner. Katy then writes “I don’t know why I just said that or behaved that way. I hate it when I behave as so!”

I can relate.

PrayingWoman

This is my favorite excerpt from the book, on page 87:

“I beg you, my dear child, if you are doing this aimless, useless work, to stop short at once. Life is too precious to spend in a treadmill. Having been pardoned by your God and Savior, the next thing you have to do is to show your gratitude for this infinite favor by consecrating your self entirely to Him, body, soul, and spirit. This is the least you can do. He has bought you with a price, and you are no longer your own.”

‘But,’ you may reply, ‘this is contrary to my nature. I love my own way. I desire ease and pleasure; I desire to go to heaven, but I want to be carried thither on a bed of flowers. Can I not give myself so far to God as to feel a sweet sense of peace with Him, and be sure of final salvation, and yet, to a certain extent, indulge and gratify myself? If I give myself entirely away to Him and lose all ownership in myself, He may deny me many things I greatly desire. He may make my life hard and wearisome, depriving me of all that now makes it agreeable.’

But, I reply, this is no matter of parley and discussion; it is not optional with God’s children whether they will pay Him a part of the price they owe Him and keep back the rest. He asks, and He has a right to ask, for all you have and all you are. And if you shrink from what is involved in such a …”

OH SNAP! Guess you gotta pick up your own copy of E. Prentiss’s book to finish reading this section!

If you like books that take place in this time period (1830-1860), check this out!

Into chick flicks? This book is a great one.

Struggling on your own journey towards godliness? Prentiss can help y’out.

Love you all, thanks for reading~

<3 V

 

 

What if it’s not about WHO you marry, but WHY?

Love, relationships, dating, marriage. Why do we do these things?

Because we love Love. We all seek to be loved; to be understood. To be desired, chased. We need love and closeness. We need avenues for us to be vulnerable. To be romantic.

Some people seek love for support. For help in everyday life. To have an extra set of physical or emotional hands to get us through the days. Tit for tat.

Some people seek lust. We all desire beauty. It’s human nature to look at pretty things. For most people, love is defined by lust. Especially for men. Oxytocin is a hormone released in our bodies after experiencing moments of bonding; kissing, hugging, cuddling, etc. that produces the feeling of being “in love”. This is one reason why lust and love can be so confusing.

lovebook

Isn’t this adorable? Love and words and books. What else is there?! <3

For Christmas this year, my aunt and uncle gave me a copy of Gary Thomas’s The Sacred Search. I read it in all of three days. Three busy days, mind you.

It’s about love and commitment, desire and satisfaction. It explains most all of the different reasons why people marry; and discusses what happens as a result.

Is it because you’re “in love”? What does that really mean?

Is it because you’ve “invested  a lot of time” and feel it’s too late?

Is it because you “don’t want to hurt” your significant other (SO)?

Is it because you’ve “already told everyone” and feel you can’t back up?

Are you “comfortable” and unwilling to change?

Do you believe marriage is hopeless and that all marriages fail, so why bother?

womanchasingman manchasingwoman

Gary Thomas explains infatuation in typical relationships and what usually ends up happening. He explains the reality of the physical bond created between people as a result of physical intimacy and how blinding it is. Thomas explains the importance of making sure you’re marrying the right person and why it’s OK to postpone the wedding if you feel you’re in too deep.

pursueGodfirst

Gary lays down easy-to-read “how-to” steps in seeking marriage and a loving relationship. He advises the reader on what to look for in an individual, but also what to look for in one’s self.

In chapter 11, Thomas lists some key traits that every SO should have in order to be a sustainable partner for 50-60 years.

“This person:

is humble

is forgiving

resolves conflict in a healthy way

knows how to communicate

prays

is skilled in the art of friendship” (Thomas p. 143).

Thomas highlights the importance of not hastily jumping into marriage, but taking slow measures to cultivate a relationship that will flourish well beyond any human years on this planet. By setting ourselves up for an eternal relationship, with God at the center, we will find success.

sacredsearch

If you are in a relationship and are thinking about getting married this book is for you.

If you are single and thinking about getting married this book is for you.

If you are in an unsatisfactory marriage and seeking tips on how to strengthen your relationship this book is for you.

If you are in a satisfactory marriage and seeking tips on how to strengthen your relationship this book is for you.

Not all marriages fail. In life, we reap what we sow, and haste makes waste. Check out Gary Thomas’s The Sacred Search to learn how to cultivate a lasting relationship, with time and careful consideration.

Hope you enjoyed this post! “Like” to see more posts like this one!

Love you all! 🙂

<3 V