dear past subject of interest

oh how I used to get so mad.

in this day in age of text messages. the do’s and don’ts.

the should-i-text-you-first-or-wait-for-you-to-text-me

the you-waited-fifteen-minutes-to-reply-so-i-must-also-wait-fifteen-minutes-so-as-not-to-appear-more-interested-than-you-or-desperate-or-too-available

by golly

I used to sit around and wait for your reply. And then when I would get it, I wouldn’t send one back. Not until enough time had passed. I wanted to seem apathetic about the whole thing. Like I didn’t really care whether I heard from you or not.

but oh how I cared.

apathetic? more like pathetic


texting. what a wonderful, terrible invention. a convenient, terribly inconvenient platform for the control freak who’s pursuing a relationship.

with text messaging, and phones in general, we have direct 24/7 access to whomever we want to talk to; be it on social media, texting or calling. (if that person has a (smart) phone or social media or whatever, smarty pants. 🙂

so this dilemma is created where we can talk to people when we feel like it. and if we don’t feel like it, we don’t have to respond. and then there’s the games. the i’m-going-to-throw-this-person-a-proverbial-bone-to-keep-their-interest-so-as-to-feed-my-ego-when-i-see-fit

until of course, the recipient figures out the underlying intentions of the sender’s messages and wisens up (AKA stops replying). or better yet, somehow turns it around on the sender so as to give him/her a taste of their own medicine. but truly narcissistic, egotistical sender’s won’t care if the recipient responds or not because they have more than likely sent out more than just one message to one recipient, but many messages to many poor, hungry-to-be-loved-and-striving-for-affection-and-attention sort of folks.

so. why do we do this? i would say options. we all like to have options. and convenience. it’s highly convenient to send out a text to someone. takes very little effort yet can mean a lot to one person and very little to another. plus, nobody wants to die alone. some people have a hard time being alone for an extremely short amount of time; and present technology contributes to this “issue”. y’all have probably heard of the concept of how our “connected” world is more disconnected than ever before because everybody’s “plugged in” online and on their phones, but interpersonal relationships are suffering and being pushed to the back burner. conversational skills are going down the tubes and it’s becoming easier and easier to isolate ourselves from other people.

this is not normal, btw

it’s not how we were designed to live and be

we were designed to thrive in community with others

but i digress

this post was supposed to be about my ex-fake-half-assed-suitors


i have met a fair share of real men who are willing to put their hearts on the line and be vulnerable when it comes to pursuing a lady. men who are willing to risk calling a “date'” a date. and not “hanging out” or some other form of copping out of committing to vulnerability.

love is messy. can we just agree about that

but I love C.S. Lewis’s quote about it:

““To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”


ahhhh. beautifully said. applause. applause. <3 <3 <3

I think I must end there.

Be vulnerable, people. Be willing to put yourself out there and LOVE. Love BIG! Each moment is a gift from our sweet Lord…. and there’s no telling when the end will come for any of us. Not to be dark, but it’s reality. So LOVE

Always love.




To Love and BeLoved

Dear Reader,

I commence with this advice: this post is fully-packed, and is not cut out for everyone. Some concepts will soar over people’s heads. Some comments will hasten people to click the back or close-browser button and wish there was a “dislike” or even “loathe” option. Some truths will lure you in and leave you thirsty for more truth. The truth in some phrases will cause you to utterly and completely deny having any idea what I am talking about. You may close this browser half-way and decide that I am crazy and alone in what I’m saying. Others will read it over twice or three times to really try to grasp the ideas behind it. After all, these words may be perfectly clear to some people, where others may need more time to decipher.

That being said, I wish you the best read and hope you will find out a little more about love, why we should strive to be more loving, and where we can learn how to love perfectly. There is joy and peace in these words for those who are seeking these things~


After all, deep down, everybody wants the same thing. Everybody wants to love and be loved.

Continue reading “To Love and BeLoved”

the long trail

Currently can’t stop blogging. This whole wordpress thing is pretty addicting. And it’s awesome because it gives me a justifiable excuse to be introverted. Frankly, I can be pretty social too. When I’m around my people who I feel at ease with, friends, mentors, family (for the most part), I talk and joke and laugh and want to do fun things with them. I moved to a new place in a new state alone a few months ago and it’s been an interesting journey to say the least. In order to find out anything about where Continue reading “the long trail”