The Vagueness

I refuse to believe I’m the only one suffering the effects of The Vagueness.

The Vagueness. It’s a serious dilemma. A disease that’s overtaken this culture. An epidemic that drives hundreds of thousands, if not millions of young men and women to confusion, doubt, uncertainty, unnecessary time spent making justifications, and overall heartache.

The Vagueness: coming to a theater near you.

Joking. It’s already everywhere. All around. Everywhere I look. Guys not willing to call a date a date. Girls leading guys on because they enjoy the flattery and the attention.

When did we lose the courage to be straight up with each other? When did people start settling so quickly and easily for the next person and relationship to come around that seemingly fulfills the hole of loneliness attention-seeking requirements we each have as a human being.

The Vagueness. Yup.

Now let me tell you about the origin of the Vagueness.

People are afraid of rejection. We’re acceptance junkies, and can’t stand when people don’t like us or want us. We all strive to be loved and wanted.

So when two people are interested in each other and start getting to know one another, it’s hugely tempting to keep things “casual” just in case it doesn’t go over well.

Because if you call it “hanging out” you were never actually “dating” right?


And so you “hang out” once.

And then you “hang out” a second and third time.

And then one person starts to wonder “what this is” and a DTR talk needs to happen. (“Define the Relationship”).

And if both people are feelin’ it, maybe you decide you’re dating.

Or maybe one person says “do we have to call it dating?”

Or one person says “yeah I’m not really into you”

Or one person says “what do you mean, we’re just friends?!”


If you have to have a define-the-relationship talk, the relationship might not be a healthy one. Just sayin.

Let’s be intentional about dating.

Let’s call dates dates.

Let’s be intentional about how we spend our time with the opposite sex.

I dunno about you, but I’m not looking for more friends. If a guy wants to “hang out” with me, I’m gonna be straight up from the beginning and say “soo is this a date?” and if he says no, then I’ma tell him straight up: sorry _______ but I’m not looking for a friend; I have plenty of those already. I’m looking to be in a serious relationship. And if you aren’t willing to call pursuing me what it is, I’m not interested.”


No more of these half-hearted attempts at getting to know if you like someone enough to be vulnerable with them and show them your heart. Show them that you have a heart. Guess what people. It’s not a secret that you have a heart. So can we PLEASE stop being so superficial about feelings.

Can we PLEASE stop being so vague about intentions. If you aren’t ready to date with marriage as the end goal, stop dating.

If you aren’t even willing to call a date a date, stop asking people to “hang out” and work on yourself first.

Be bold.

Be honest.

Be transparent.

Be vulnerable.

Be willing to take emotional risks every once in a while.

If you’re currently in a vague situation, there’s hope. Call out the Vagueness.

Repeat: do NOT settle for the vagueness. You’re worth clarity.

You’re worth clarity. You’re worth someone pursuing you like crazy. There is someone out there who wants you wholeheartedly; not half-assedly. There is someone whose heart will beat for you. There is someone out there who won’t take “no” for an answer. Wait for that person.

Do NOT settle for the vagueness.

Time to challenge each other to live in the light. Intentionally. With boldness, honesty, and clarity. Let’s do each other a favor and stop wasting each other’s time if we aren’t meant to be with that person.

Don’t let fear and lies tell you that you will always be alone. If you’re with the wrong person. you are robbing them and yourselves of the right relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The one that God has for you. Don’t let fear drive or control you.


Let’s be intentional with the short amount of time we have in this life.

I’m excited for us.