Tag: writing

awkward full moon

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last night the moon was amazing. the thanksgiving moon. it was so full and bright. i tried to capture a picture on my cell phone camera but it was no use. everytime I tried a tree or stoplight would photobomb and ruin the picture. i then tried taking a video but it was all blurry. the moon, the streetlights, the stoplights. everything was blurry. the moon didn’t look much different from a stoplight even. just slightly bigger and less colorful. #NOJUSTICE

im so lazy that i don’t care to use uppercase. soon all punctuation might be thrown out. so don’t be surprised if that happens

my job is awkward sometimes. i’m a lady hahah i mean im taking care of a lady. oh gosh im too tired to press the backspace button so yall are gonna get what yall are gonna get. thanks snake dog ipa. haaaaaaaaaa

so im a lady taking care of a lady, and near the end of my shift her husband fell asleep on the couch. i lied about the backspace button!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just pressed it like 14 times. #selectivelaziness

so he fell asleep, and the person taking over my shift was running late. so i peaced . i mean, i live downstairs so i just went downstairs. but its gonna be awkward for the next person. i mean i warned her at least. hahaha oh well. whatcha gonna do

make pappardelle pasta!yusssssss

and then go wash this hair

dis hair

did you know. that washing your hair less often makes you less dependent on hair products? seriously, i used to wash my hair every day or every other day. and my hair got greasy soooooooo fast. but now i only wash it every 4 or 5 days, and it’s way less greasy. weaning off da products #stopconsumerism freal though, it’s great. though it makes washing my hair way more of a chore

SO

 

friday night, pretty overrated. actually, who am i kidding. if i wasn’t tired i would probably go out and do something. but honestly, i don’t care. i usually run around like a crazy person every day, so i got no qualms about doing nothing on a friday night

i used to feel like i have to go out and do things because i told people i would, or because id look or feel like a loser if i didn’t. naht anymore. hahaha now i value r&r cuz i gotta make sure im getting enough. it would help if i went to bed earlier on a daily basis. 😉

okay, this might be the most boring post ever written! so sorry if anyone is still reading this

i’m gonna go drink a beer in the shower and think of better blog ideas

kbyeee  xxxx

<3

V

clock obsessed

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hahaaa so there’s a clock in the kitchen and my roomie took it off the wall. But did I stop checking the time every two minutes on the clock that wasn’t there? Niiiiiiiiiip

Checked it. Invisi-clock surprised me, angered me, confused me.

Clock- 53

Me- ZERO

I even said something about it to roomsmates and he said “yeah I never noticed how often I checked the clock until it was missing”

“and dooooon’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know whatcha got til its’ gone……”

lol

at least I had the stove clock because I’m a WOMAN (jk) and my phone clock

but it just wasn’t the same. If only I had some extra AA batteries. Hhahaah that’s all it takes. But neither of us had any. Sad

So what’s the lesson here? Keep AA’s around. Don’t check the time so much. Or how about this:

Make sure the things you put on your wall are worth looking at. If you gonna be filling your head looking at them day in and day out, they may as well be making a difference in your mind and heart. This can and should be applied to other things we fill our minds with: books, movies, television shows, music, podcasts. Friends. 😉

The things we put into our minds are the things we think about. My dad told me that once. It’s good hard truth right there! Seems pretty straight forward, because it is. But applying it can be hard.

Considering how what we watch and listen to affects our thoughts, actions, ideas. Idk about you, but I want to be better. I want to get better. I want to improve. I want to be successful. I want to be loving and kind and compassionate. And goofy! And laid back.

So tonight I choose to fill my mind with things that will make me better. 😀 😀 😀

Also, I’m really going to try not looking at the clock so daggone much. It should be easier now that I’m outta work 😉

that is all

xxx

V

for the sake of writing

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isn’t that a good enough reason to be here

not that I need one. but I just felt like putting some words down

I just worked and now I’m home. probably should try to sleep soon. but chocolate and caffeine got the best of me and are keeping me awake

I glance over at my rectangle every minute or so to see if it’s lit up

really want to break that thing

really want to break some thing

Lauren Daigle says “am I just the sum of every high and every low?”. What a great line. The answer is no

Instead of wallowing in self pity like I feel like doing right now since I’m just in that self-pity sorta mood, I choose to focus on who God says I am and what He has done for me

He fully knows me and loves me. There is nothing about me that I can hide. Every motivation for every thought and action is known by Him. He sees to my core and still fully loves me and doesn’t stop providing for me. He works all things together for my good since I love Him and was called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).

I was called.

Yet

I keep trying to avoid doing what I know I need to be doing.

Part of it is getting distracted by external factors. Part of it is almost as if I’m creating the factors of distraction for myself because I enjoy some part of them.

Vices

Something has a vice grip on every one of us. My vice may change, but something tempts me in a specific way and tends to trap me if I don’t set myself up for success and get the thing by the root.

Sometimes I almost let my vice take over me. Because it’s comfortable. Being a prisoner is comfortable. That’s why in Shawshank Redemption, when the prisoners got out, they didn’t know what to do with themselves. Some of them committed suicide. Others wanted to go back to jail.

I say right now, I don’t want to be a prisoner. I know Jesus has freed me from being a slave to sin and has made me new. But every day is a battle of death to self, and choosing Christ. Sometimes I do a really good job. Other days I don’t. But I KNOW I’m NOT the sum of my good and bad days. Scripture promises that the good work God has begun in His children will be perfected.

That means I’m moving forward. That means I’m getting better. That means He will never give up on me, or be surprised when I fail. He is making me better; though sometimes painstakingly slowly.

Moving forward, but occasionally stepping backwards or off to the side, or falling flat on my face.

Though doing a comparison of where I am now to where I was a few years ago is a better gauge of how far I’ve truly come…!!!

But enough about ME!!! I just want to encourage you people that

(A) you ain’t nevah alone

(B) if you love the One True King, He’s making you better ERR day

(C) messing up is part of being human

(D) trust the promises in scripture, that there is NOTHING that can separate us from the love of God

(E) even when ya feeling less than sub-par

 

Everyday battles ain’t got nothing on the overarching truth that the war is won, and I am victorious in Christ. Even when I slip and fall and feel like I’m trapped by a vice, I can meditate on the scripture that Christ set me free from sin, and that by the power of the Holy Spirit, I overcome any fiery darts thrown at me. Guilt and condemnation don’t have a hold on me. They can’t.

Go, christians, and know who you are, and whose you are. Bought with a price, Christ’s shed blood on the cross, to make you new, and to give you eternal life to reign at the right hand of God for all of eternity. You are His light in this dark world, and He equips us with mercy and grace to walk through every situation in His promises.

and DO the thing

DO the work He’s called you to do! Ask Him for help! He HEARS His children’s prayers. So PRAY! For God is listening! <3

Lord, thank you. For creating me. For hearing me. For loving me. For giving me worth. For carrying me every step of the way. Teach me how to better rely on you and trust you. You know what I need. I don’t. But you do. Thank you <3

xxx

V

laugh or cry

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not sure which I should do

i feel like sleeping. I should probably do that. More of that, since it’s all I’ve done today. Interesting

my body isn’t a machine. SURPRISE

did anybody else know this?! Just kidding, I can’t pretend that it’s a surprise to me. If I act surprised I’m lying to myself and everyone else. Though I suppose I’ve had to lie quite a bit to myself to get to this point.

Running. I’ve been running and just doing without a lot of thinking preceding or following after. That’s never a good thing. I want to think and prepare before doing the thing, and then debrief afterwards and determine what worked and what could have been done better.

I get it, that’s not real life all the time. Sometimes you can prep, and a lot of times things happen spontaneously. But I don’t want to be a “victim” to flying by the seat of my pants either. I have a brain, and God wants me to use it. It’s easy to do the thing without giving much thought. Especially knowing what brings life and what doesn’t.

Resting more

I will do this. It turns out burning the candle at both ends doesn’t work for me. I know some people who are super good at doing this. I’m not on that level. Weaker, perhaps. But I know it’s a blessing and a gift from God.

Psalm 23 says

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.

See that. He makes me lie down in green pastures. Cuz I’m His little sheep. And He knows better when I need rest than I do. Time and again He shows me when it’s time to rest. Since I try to avoid rest at all costs apparently. But I like the pasture. It’s a nice, comfortable place. There’s lots of food, and the still waters are nice. I realize I should do this more often.

He restores my soul. Yep. The simplicity of being at home. Resting. Sleeping. Caring for me. I’ve avoided it. I haven’t had a lot of time with God. I require it. He knows that I require it. And even though I continuously avoid it, He gives me the time to rest.

I wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for a three week residual head cold. Congestion and the like. On and off for three weeks. I’m tired of it. But it isn’t going away. I know so much of that is because I have NOT been sleeping enough. I need to rest. I need to catch up on sleep. I need to say no to things for a while until I can get back on track. And then I need to set boundaries and actually stick to them, so I don’t end up in this situation again.

But if I do end up in a similar situation, I know my God will take care of me. Even when I try to run myself into the ground and go on and on forever until there’s nothing left. I don’t mean to hurt myself in the process, I just end up hurting myself when I don’t stop. Rest is important. We need to sleep 1/3 of each day. Sounds like so much.

I have friends who are overachievers and get even more rest than this. I have neglected it and have not gotten that bare minimum. I can’t keep up.

He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Thank you Lord, for leading me in paths of righteousness. When I neglect taking care of myself, I don’t have much to pour out to others. Especially if I’m sick.

Thank you for being with me Lord, and not leaving me alone to make decisions that lead to death. You intervene and give me rest when I don’t choose it for myself. You take care of me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Lord, why you want me in your house?!?!?! I don’t deserve it. I neglect what I should be doing constantly. Yet you continually take care of me and provide for me, and give me what I need again and again. I am so shortsighted. You know this about me and love me deeply. All I can do is praise you. You are soo good Lord.

Laugh or cry…. I think both. I am deeply loved by God. Even when I make bad decisions and don’t take care of myself. He is the perfect Father. He knows what’s best for me, and He gives it to me, however necessary. I guess I’m a slow learner. Always have done too much. Swung too far. All or nothing. He is making me more consistent, like Him.

<3

Do you need to rest more?

xxx

V

 

validation and red sauce

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I’m up writing this post partially to give you an opportunity to validate me. The other part is because I need to share this sauce with the world.

Trader Joe’s already did. It’s their “Autumnal Harvest Creamy Pasta Sauce”.

21690297578_ac1c8d1b58_b.jpg

And I simply canNOT get enough. I really can’t. To tell you how many jars of this sauce I have gone through in the last… week. Would be embarrassing. Six. Wait just kidding, that might be the last month though.

It is THAT good. I kid you not. I don’t know what makes it that good. Maybe the cream? The butter? By golly it’s delicious. I have been using literally everything as a vessel to get this sauce into my mouth.

Bread. Crackers. Pasta. Cheese. Pita chips. Lettuce. Eggs. Tomatoes.

I could go on. I might have a problem. Or maybe there’s something in this jar that my body really needs more of. But guys. The craving is real.

Cold. I’ve been eating this sauce cold, by the spoonful.

But mostly on top of other shtuff. It’s amazing. I can’t recommend it highly enough. And at only $3.50 a jar….. SUCH A STEAL. I was in Fresh Market the other day looking for a similar sauce and there were a few that looked like they might come close but they were all $7-8 a jar!??! I was like ummm nahh I’m going to TJ’s.

Funny cuz I used to make fun of TJ’s in college. I used to say Trader Joe’s was BS because their organics all came from Mexico. Cheaper to us because they underpaid workers down south and then ruined the environment by shipping stuff.

And here I am, buying from them. Hypocrite? Maybe a little. Oh the person I used to be compared with the person I am now. Oh the changes. Oh the seasons. Oh the priorities.

I still haven’t heard from you. Is this where I start singing “Irreplaceable”? “I could have aNOTHER you in a minute, in a fact HE’LL be here in a minute, babyyyy”.

I don’t even really care whether or not I hear from you though, that’s the thing. It’s just my spontaneous OCD that is wondering why you haven’t responded to my message. I shall now go on to talk about sauce. And life.

Actually, that’s all for the sauce shpeal. Shauce Shpeal

On a fun note, only three days til I head to my writing conference! WOOOOOOOOT! Road trip! Definitely bought a couple articles of clothing for the experience, so that’s exciting!

Also, gotta check into the dance scene once again so I can decide which night/nights to go dancing after the conference each night. YaSsSSssS adventure time! Today I got my car inspected (on the 1st of the month, look at meeeeee) and it passed! Okay, I really just wanted to make sure my car would be okay on the journey to the conference because it’s six hours away. I’m not usually THIS responsible. And actually, I don’t recommend getting your car inspected on the first day or first three days of any given month because of the overflow of people leftover from last month that didn’t get their inspection until now; when it’s too late.

Praise God that He opened up a spot in the line of cars for me to get in there are do it ahead of time! Praise God that it passed! It has been making a sortof funky sound lately so I wasn’t sureee if everything was okay.

But I’m good to go! Excited to go too!!

Thanks for validating me. Or at least easing my OCD. Time for bed.

Life is beautiful people. God is good, and He cares for His sheep.

He cares for me. And He loves us all.

xoxoxoxox

<3 V

missed you

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wordy wordy wordpresssss

I wrote out two posts but didn’t post them. They just didn’t seem genuine.
Thought about writing several more but didn’t take the initiative.
Truth is I’ve been buzy

Who ISN’T I suppose. Nearing the end of October here. Canya believe it. It’s almost November. Which means almost December. Which means Christmas. Yeah idk time’s a flying and I jest

I don’t know.

Today I am resting. I am supposed to be lesson planning for Bible Study Fellowship but instead I’m entirely avoiding it. Well 95% avoiding since the task keeps nagging at the back of my head like a little brother. I’M BUZY REMEMBAH

Though I really should busy myself with that task since it needs to get done by tomorrow. Ho humm eventually. I still have 3 hours to complete it before I head to my singles group — LISTEN IT’s BIBLE STUDY OKAY. Well actually, tonight we have the privilege of listening to a Dr’s testimony of how he was persecuted in Romania for christianity. Should be pretty interesting.

Not that there’s anything wrong with any kind of singles group. Singles can get together and do whatever they want. As long as it’s morally okay. Hehe though we all know that those darn kids are getting into all sorts of riff-raff nowadays. And for always. Sigh

So here we are wording. I don’t want to be wordy because wordy implies too many words. Maybe this whole post is too many words. Though I’m still going to share it.

I’m feeling rather wordy myself. Blah blah blah

I should really channel this energy into lesson planning for the little ones. Gosh I’m annoying when I’m neurotically obsessing over an idea that I should do something with.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Anonymity helps you be evil: live in the light.

Being anonymous contributes to doing and saying whatever we want with no strings attached. If Velvet (that’s me!) were to say or do something, Velvet would be judged. Not necessarily judged in a bad way, but, you know. People observe the sayings and doings of people and make judgments all the time. “She’s an interesting writer.” … “She’s neurotic.” … “She sure has a lot of words”

If the ANONYMOUS version of myself were to say or do something, I might say or do it differently than Velvet would if I knew I didn’t have to sensor myself. Because that’s what we do, right? We sensor ourselves so we don’t go on offending anyone and everyone? Okay, clearly not everyone sensors themselves. Some people not at all. But we learn to have guarded communication with people or online because we care about people. We learn patience and we learn to control our tongues. We learn that words can bring life or death to others and we pick which battles we want to fight.

Besides being anonymous with our words in person or online, we should choose not to be anonymous with how we spend our time. The more time spent by ourselves, the more time spent away from others. That phrase might be redundant, but the concept needs to be understood. It’s important.

Spending too much time away from others, or by ourselves, or alone, is not good. Note TOO MUCH. Time alone is good. TOO MUCH TIME ALONE is bad. Live in the light. Serve other people. Be wise with your time.

HAHAHAHAH I SHOULD REALLY TAKE MY OWN ADVICE.

Okay, I’m going to go lesson plan now. And then perhaps write some music. And then go to my SINGLES GROUP to commune with other people. GOD BLESS!

xxx

V

Trust

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God, I trust you.

Though it’s hard

Though I want to go my own way

Though I don’t want to be alone

Though I want people to like me

Though I want the world to like me

Though I know you know best

I know you love me

I know you care for me

I know you know better than me

I know you protect and shield me

I know you go before me, and behind me, and hem me in

I want to trust you God.

So help me trust you, and help me see you, and help me choose you

And take away my fears of not being liked

And take away my fears of being alone.

For I am set apart

and I am victorious in you

and I have all that I need

and I am light

Thanks to you.

Thank you for including me in your family.

Thank you for wanting me around.

Thank you for patiently teaching me how to live the right way.

Thank you for being just, and for implementing consequences when I choose to turn my own way.

I need you, Lord. I need help choosing you.

Thank you for choosing me.

T R U S T    T   R   U   S   T   T R U S T    T   R   U   S   T   T R U S T

xxx <3

V

dancing and kissing

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first off, I want to praise God that I wasn’t robbed tonight. When I got to my car, the driver’s side door was not closed all the way. That makes me think that someone was trying to rob me, and thank God that they didn’t becauseee my laptop and guitar were in my car, as well as a decent bike rack, and some other stuff. My wallet, cash… yeahhh. When I got to my car and saw that the driver door wasn’t all the way shut I was like ummm. But the door was still locked. And everything inside was untouched! God is good!

Next time I’m going to make sure I park close-ish to the building just to be safe. And maybe hide my stuff a little better.

Honestly, my car looks ghetto anyway because I’m practically a gypsy. I slept at a client’s house last night, am at my cousin’s house tonight, and will be home tomorrow night. Thursday night I’ll sleep at my client’s again. Maybe Friday night as well? My plans for Saturday officially changed because I was supposed to go to some worship thingy for learning about the New Testament in the bible in depth, buuuuuuut apparently it wasn’t a workshop at all… it’s more like a college class, and I should’ve been doing work all month to prepare for it. But ALAS I did not know that until today soo my Saturday definitely just freed up! So I might do this salsa crash course. Thought it costs $38. I know that isn’t a lot of money buuuut that doesn’t include the gas for coming down here. Though there is also a zouk event this Saturday that I could go to as well sooo. We shall see.

ANYWHO back to dancing and kissing.

Last night was Tuesday night, which means — as of late– dancing! Latin dance social. Annnnnd I’m soooooo glad that I went! I have been feeling under the weather for days, but I think part of that reason is because I have eaten too many carbs and haven’t worked out. Hahah anywayyyy I’m so so glad I went dancing tonight. I definitely came out of my shell a lot more and had a TON of fun dancing salsa. I even asked a couple of the good salsa dancers to dance with me and they did! It was a blast.

The best advice I got all night was “smile and have a good time”. Hahaha sounds silly maybe, but I have been focusing waaaaaay too much about my footwork and looking “correct” that I haven’t been having fun. You can’t make that up. Going with the flow of the song is soo important. Once I did that and let myself loosen up enough to move my hips I had a blast and was dancing wayyy better! There’s still a ton of moves that I have to learn that can only happen over time, but I’m feeling much more confident in my salsa in general and want to try to dance with more dancers.

As for the kissing part; as a christian, boundaries need to be established in dancing. Not dancing super pressed-up against someone is one boundary. Another is, being mindful of other sensual moves and knowing how to steer clear of them. And yet another is, when you look deeply into someone’s eyes, it can invoke passion and a desire to kiss them.

So. In the last 10 days, I have had three guys try to kiss me. One was drunk and I want to disregard him more or less, but we did dance together, and it was right after.

The second guy was very cute and a good dancer.

The third, the same.

But guys, I don’t even know them! Kissing people you don’t know is dumb. It makes it recreational and meaningless. It takes away how special kissing can be when it’s with someone you love. It shouldn’t be done with just anyone at anytime. And the second two guys knew that probably before they tried kissing me. I said “I can’t” when they tried. One guy responded “what do you mean ‘you can’t‘?” and I said that I didn’t kiss guys I don’t know. I said I couldn’t to the other guy too, and he said “right, because we don’t know each other”. It’s like… people know. Let’s do each other a favor and have respect for others enough to not try to kiss them two hours after you met them. Or, in the case of the first guy, like 10 minutes. sorry not sorry

Dancing is very passionate. Can be very sensual/sexual. Doesn’t have to be, but can be. Can invoke a sense of closeness with your partner because of the movements. That’s why those boundaries are very important.

One of my girlfriends told me she thought about stopping dancing bachata in general. Because it tends to be more sensual. I don’t want to stop because there are soo many moves one can do that don’t have to be sensual. But the songs often slow down to a point where it seems natural to do more body rolls and isolated movements. Which CAN be done with space in between the dancers. And they can be done well. But if you don’t know who you’re dancing with, and don’t clarify that you don’t dance close up front, you may be disappointed when someone tries to get all close with you.

And it’s hard guys, because it’s nice to be close to people. It’s nice. That physical touch. And non-Christians don’t think about the proximity too much. Don’t question it, because they don’t see the clear line between right and wrong, and don’t have the help of the Holy Spirit saying “more space! It’s for your own good!”. When physical intimacy and closeness is shared between people that aren’t married, things get real confusing. You feel this bond and connection with the person, but only on a physical level. So next time you get lonely, you might think of that person and the proximity and how nice it felt.

But do not be deceived. Plus, setting boundaries is a great way to witness! And as much as I love physical touch, my Jesus is worth WAY more to me than temporary satisfaction. I live because of my God, and I live to please Him. And that means trusting that He’s got something better for me than settling for appeasing my emotions and experiencing “satisfaction” in the meantime. Which, by the way, isn’t real satisfaction because it leads only to confusing results anyway!

So, dancing and kissing. Watch out friends! Don’t be afraid to say no. Know why you’re saying no. Set boundaries. And enJOY! Dancing is wonderful and beautiful and amazing. Dancing itself is not the issue. But don’t let your partner take advantage of your body and skin for their own pleasure. And don’t use other people’s bodies for your own pleasure.

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that His Spirit dwells in your midst?” 1 Corinthians 3:16 

xxx <3

 

V

Why can’t we be friends?

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This isn’t the lyrics to the infamous Smash Mouth song from 1997.

I’m talking about being friends with guys. Is it possible?

Hmmm

I haven’t thought so for years. Rewind to high school: sophomore year. My honors english teacher told us that every relationship is built on some level of attraction. He said that guys and girls, that are friends, must be attracted to each other on some level. I took that to heart.

Fast forward to about four years ago when I read C. S. Lewis’s “The Four Loves”. In the friendship section Lewis writes that men and women have no business being friends. He says that friendships between men and women will end in one of two ways: romantic love between the two people, or one person falling for the other romantically, and the other not reciprocating.

I have ALWAYS had this experience with the opposite sex. Which is why I take the liberty of not keeping in contact with guys who seem to have a crush on me.

I always thought I was quoting Gandalf from Lord of the Rings when I say “do not shed light where there is no hope” in reference to my decision to not talk to guys I’m not interested in romantically. Though I just googled that quote and it doesn’t seem to exist. I swear it’s somewhere in the LOTR or possibly the Hobbit. Oh well!

Point is, what business do I have talking to fellows one on one, building relationships, pouring in time and energy, if they seem to be interested in me, but I have no interest in them? Hmmmm

That’s what it is you know: energy. We only have so much energy to give out day to day. We only have so much time to put forth in our relationships. We can only juggle so many relationships as it is outside of working and sleeping, socializing, hobbying, family and friends. Especially when it comes to the opposite gender.

Think about it: why cultivate a relationship with someone that you KNOW is interested in you but you have little to no interest in them? I think where some people go wrong here is that they enjoy the flattery. It is flattering to be liked. To be wanted. To be admired. It’s nice when someone thinks we are cool and pretty and fun. So when they’re giving us attention that we want to get from somebody but there isn’t anybody else giving it, it’s natural and easy to accept the attention and roll with the conversations.

It can be hard to be direct with people about feelings though, even though we all have direct access to each other almost 24-7 with cellular phones. But communicating real feelings is a whole nother topic. And people don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings these days either. Not saying that we should set out to hurt other people, but there is such a thing as letting someone down easy.

So here’s the challenge: is someone hitting you up that you know you don’t want to entertain the possibility of a relationship with? Release them. If you feel as if you aren’t leading them on and are genuinely enjoying your relationship with this person and feel as if the relationship is beneficial and healthy to both parties, then great. Carry on. Continue.

Before you do anything, pray about the relationship. Ask God to show you whether or not it is profitable to be in contact with the individual. God cares about our relationships with others. After all, our most important relationship should be with Him, first and foremost!

Nuff words for the night. Thoughts on relationships? Can guys and girls be friends?

xxx <3

V

I have a family

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

different from the one I was born into. It’s a heavenly family. A divine family. A family that I didn’t see for myself and say “I want to be a part of that family.”

But my new, heavenly, divine Father was the one who picked me to be in His family. He saw me floundering in the world, and chasing guys, drinking too much, doing drugs, and obsessing over my appearance. He saw me struggling with not eating right, and overexercising to compensate for eating too much. He saw my broken earthly family and the heartache. And He decided to reach out. He talked to me. He planted a seed in my heart that I didn’t know existed.

I believed. I believed it was He, and He rescued me. I turned to Him and saw His ways with fresh eyes, and for the very first time.

He adopted me.

Adopting a child is no small feat. The action alone says “I want to be kind to you, for no reason.” He wanted to be kind to me, for no reason. Simply because He wanted to share His love with me.

He gave me a room in His spiritual house and began teaching me what it means to be a member of His family. As His daughter, there are certain things I don’t do anymore. There are things I do differently. There are things that I once did that I couldn’t fathom doing now, so as to honor my new family.

I want to please Him. I want to be around Him and learn from Him. I start to understand why He says it’s not good to do certain things. Other things I still try to do and He doesn’t let me. I usually understand later on the reasoning. The reason behind His discipline isn’t always clear though. But I know He is to be trusted and that one day it will all become clear.

He wants me to uphold the family name. He wants me to serve the family. He wants to share His riches with me. He already has made my life rich with His love and grace and endless mercy; but then He says there are immeasurable riches to come. An immeasurable share of riches is mine; simply because I was adopted into God’s spiritual family. At no cost to me.

No cost, except I have to be willing to stop living the way I was before. I’ve come a long way, though there are many things I don’t understand.

Lord, what love is this that you would send your son to die on the cross for my sins, so that I might be reconciled to you and enjoy you and your riches forever?

What love is this that You set Yourself to win my love by loving me first? You made it your goal to love me and catch my affections, so that you might have mine. Why would you want mine?

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

Let us go out and love others first, and for “no” reason; to emulate Christ.

xxx

<3

 

V