isn’t that a good enough reason to be here

not that I need one. but I just felt like putting some words down

I just worked and now I’m home. probably should try to sleep soon. but chocolate and caffeine got the best of me and are keeping me awake

I glance over at my rectangle every minute or so to see if it’s lit up

really want to break that thing

really want to break some thing

Lauren Daigle says “am I just the sum of every high and every low?”. What a great line. The answer is no

Instead of wallowing in self pity like I feel like doing right now since I’m just in that self-pity sorta mood, I choose to focus on who God says I am and what He has done for me

He fully knows me and loves me. There is nothing about me that I can hide. Every motivation for every thought and action is known by Him. He sees to my core and still fully loves me and doesn’t stop providing for me. He works all things together for my good since I love Him and was called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).

I was called.

Yet

I keep trying to avoid doing what I know I need to be doing.

Part of it is getting distracted by external factors. Part of it is almost as if I’m creating the factors of distraction for myself because I enjoy some part of them.

Vices

Something has a vice grip on every one of us. My vice may change, but something tempts me in a specific way and tends to trap me if I don’t set myself up for success and get the thing by the root.

Sometimes I almost let my vice take over me. Because it’s comfortable. Being a prisoner is comfortable. That’s why in Shawshank Redemption, when the prisoners got out, they didn’t know what to do with themselves. Some of them committed suicide. Others wanted to go back to jail.

I say right now, I don’t want to be a prisoner. I know Jesus has freed me from being a slave to sin and has made me new. But every day is a battle of death to self, and choosing Christ. Sometimes I do a really good job. Other days I don’t. But I KNOW I’m NOT the sum of my good and bad days. Scripture promises that the good work God has begun in His children will be perfected.

That means I’m moving forward. That means I’m getting better. That means He will never give up on me, or be surprised when I fail. He is making me better; though sometimes painstakingly slowly.

Moving forward, but occasionally stepping backwards or off to the side, or falling flat on my face.

Though doing a comparison of where I am now to where I was a few years ago is a better gauge of how far I’ve truly come…!!!

But enough about ME!!! I just want to encourage you people that

(A) you ain’t nevah alone

(B) if you love the One True King, He’s making you better ERR day

(C) messing up is part of being human

(D) trust the promises in scripture, that there is NOTHING that can separate us from the love of God

(E) even when ya feeling less than sub-par

 

Everyday battles ain’t got nothing on the overarching truth that the war is won, and I am victorious in Christ. Even when I slip and fall and feel like I’m trapped by a vice, I can meditate on the scripture that Christ set me free from sin, and that by the power of the Holy Spirit, I overcome any fiery darts thrown at me. Guilt and condemnation don’t have a hold on me. They can’t.

Go, christians, and know who you are, and whose you are. Bought with a price, Christ’s shed blood on the cross, to make you new, and to give you eternal life to reign at the right hand of God for all of eternity. You are His light in this dark world, and He equips us with mercy and grace to walk through every situation in His promises.

and DO the thing

DO the work He’s called you to do! Ask Him for help! He HEARS His children’s prayers. So PRAY! For God is listening! <3

Lord, thank you. For creating me. For hearing me. For loving me. For giving me worth. For carrying me every step of the way. Teach me how to better rely on you and trust you. You know what I need. I don’t. But you do. Thank you <3

xxx

V