first off, I want to praise God that I wasn’t robbed tonight. When I got to my car, the driver’s side door was not closed all the way. That makes me think that someone was trying to rob me, and thank God that they didn’t becauseee my laptop and guitar were in my car, as well as a decent bike rack, and some other stuff. My wallet, cash… yeahhh. When I got to my car and saw that the driver door wasn’t all the way shut I was like ummm. But the door was still locked. And everything inside was untouched! God is good!
Next time I’m going to make sure I park close-ish to the building just to be safe. And maybe hide my stuff a little better.
Honestly, my car looks ghetto anyway because I’m practically a gypsy. I slept at a client’s house last night, am at my cousin’s house tonight, and will be home tomorrow night. Thursday night I’ll sleep at my client’s again. Maybe Friday night as well? My plans for Saturday officially changed because I was supposed to go to some worship thingy for learning about the New Testament in the bible in depth, buuuuuuut apparently it wasn’t a workshop at all… it’s more like a college class, and I should’ve been doing work all month to prepare for it. But ALAS I did not know that until today soo my Saturday definitely just freed up! So I might do this salsa crash course. Thought it costs $38. I know that isn’t a lot of money buuuut that doesn’t include the gas for coming down here. Though there is also a zouk event this Saturday that I could go to as well sooo. We shall see.
ANYWHO back to dancing and kissing.
Last night was Tuesday night, which means — as of late– dancing! Latin dance social. Annnnnd I’m soooooo glad that I went! I have been feeling under the weather for days, but I think part of that reason is because I have eaten too many carbs and haven’t worked out. Hahah anywayyyy I’m so so glad I went dancing tonight. I definitely came out of my shell a lot more and had a TON of fun dancing salsa. I even asked a couple of the good salsa dancers to dance with me and they did! It was a blast.
The best advice I got all night was “smile and have a good time”. Hahaha sounds silly maybe, but I have been focusing waaaaaay too much about my footwork and looking “correct” that I haven’t been having fun. You can’t make that up. Going with the flow of the song is soo important. Once I did that and let myself loosen up enough to move my hips I had a blast and was dancing wayyy better! There’s still a ton of moves that I have to learn that can only happen over time, but I’m feeling much more confident in my salsa in general and want to try to dance with more dancers.
As for the kissing part; as a christian, boundaries need to be established in dancing. Not dancing super pressed-up against someone is one boundary. Another is, being mindful of other sensual moves and knowing how to steer clear of them. And yet another is, when you look deeply into someone’s eyes, it can invoke passion and a desire to kiss them.
So. In the last 10 days, I have had three guys try to kiss me. One was drunk and I want to disregard him more or less, but we did dance together, and it was right after.
The second guy was very cute and a good dancer.
The third, the same.
But guys, I don’t even know them! Kissing people you don’t know is dumb. It makes it recreational and meaningless. It takes away how special kissing can be when it’s with someone you love. It shouldn’t be done with just anyone at anytime. And the second two guys knew that probably before they tried kissing me. I said “I can’t” when they tried. One guy responded “what do you mean ‘you can’t‘?” and I said that I didn’t kiss guys I don’t know. I said I couldn’t to the other guy too, and he said “right, because we don’t know each other”. It’s like… people know. Let’s do each other a favor and have respect for others enough to not try to kiss them two hours after you met them. Or, in the case of the first guy, like 10 minutes. sorry not sorry
Dancing is very passionate. Can be very sensual/sexual. Doesn’t have to be, but can be. Can invoke a sense of closeness with your partner because of the movements. That’s why those boundaries are very important.
One of my girlfriends told me she thought about stopping dancing bachata in general. Because it tends to be more sensual. I don’t want to stop because there are soo many moves one can do that don’t have to be sensual. But the songs often slow down to a point where it seems natural to do more body rolls and isolated movements. Which CAN be done with space in between the dancers. And they can be done well. But if you don’t know who you’re dancing with, and don’t clarify that you don’t dance close up front, you may be disappointed when someone tries to get all close with you.
And it’s hard guys, because it’s nice to be close to people. It’s nice. That physical touch. And non-Christians don’t think about the proximity too much. Don’t question it, because they don’t see the clear line between right and wrong, and don’t have the help of the Holy Spirit saying “more space! It’s for your own good!”. When physical intimacy and closeness is shared between people that aren’t married, things get real confusing. You feel this bond and connection with the person, but only on a physical level. So next time you get lonely, you might think of that person and the proximity and how nice it felt.
But do not be deceived. Plus, setting boundaries is a great way to witness! And as much as I love physical touch, my Jesus is worth WAY more to me than temporary satisfaction. I live because of my God, and I live to please Him. And that means trusting that He’s got something better for me than settling for appeasing my emotions and experiencing “satisfaction” in the meantime. Which, by the way, isn’t real satisfaction because it leads only to confusing results anyway!
So, dancing and kissing. Watch out friends! Don’t be afraid to say no. Know why you’re saying no. Set boundaries. And enJOY! Dancing is wonderful and beautiful and amazing. Dancing itself is not the issue. But don’t let your partner take advantage of your body and skin for their own pleasure. And don’t use other people’s bodies for your own pleasure.
“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that His Spirit dwells in your midst?” 1 Corinthians 3:16