dancing and kissing

first off, I want to praise God that I wasn’t robbed tonight. When I got to my car, the driver’s side door was not closed all the way. That makes me think that someone was trying to rob me, and thank God that they didn’t becauseee my laptop and guitar were in my car, as well as a decent bike rack, and some other stuff. My wallet, cash… yeahhh. When I got to my car and saw that the driver door wasn’t all the way shut I was like ummm. But the door was still locked. And everything inside was untouched! God is good!

Next time I’m going to make sure I park close-ish to the building just to be safe. And maybe hide my stuff a little better.

Honestly, my car looks ghetto anyway because I’m practically a gypsy. I slept at a client’s house last night, am at my cousin’s house tonight, and will be home tomorrow night. Thursday night I’ll sleep at my client’s again. Maybe Friday night as well? My plans for Saturday officially changed because I was supposed to go to some worship thingy for learning about the New Testament in the bible in depth, buuuuuuut apparently it wasn’t a workshop at all… it’s more like a college class, and I should’ve been doing work all month to prepare for it. But ALAS I did not know that until today soo my Saturday definitely just freed up! So I might do this salsa crash course. Thought it costs $38. I know that isn’t a lot of money buuuut that doesn’t include the gas for coming down here. Though there is also a zouk event this Saturday that I could go to as well sooo. We shall see.

ANYWHO back to dancing and kissing.

Last night was Tuesday night, which means — as of late– dancing! Latin dance social. Annnnnd I’m soooooo glad that I went! I have been feeling under the weather for days, but I think part of that reason is because I have eaten too many carbs and haven’t worked out. Hahah anywayyyy I’m so so glad I went dancing tonight. I definitely came out of my shell a lot more and had a TON of fun dancing salsa. I even asked a couple of the good salsa dancers to dance with me and they did! It was a blast.

The best advice I got all night was “smile and have a good time”. Hahaha sounds silly maybe, but I have been focusing waaaaaay too much about my footwork and looking “correct” that I haven’t been having fun. You can’t make that up. Going with the flow of the song is soo important. Once I did that and let myself loosen up enough to move my hips I had a blast and was dancing wayyy better! There’s still a ton of moves that I have to learn that can only happen over time, but I’m feeling much more confident in my salsa in general and want to try to dance with more dancers.

As for the kissing part; as a christian, boundaries need to be established in dancing. Not dancing super pressed-up against someone is one boundary. Another is, being mindful of other sensual moves and knowing how to steer clear of them. And yet another is, when you look deeply into someone’s eyes, it can invoke passion and a desire to kiss them.

So. In the last 10 days, I have had three guys try to kiss me. One was drunk and I want to disregard him more or less, but we did dance together, and it was right after.

The second guy was very cute and a good dancer.

The third, the same.

But guys, I don’t even know them! Kissing people you don’t know is dumb. It makes it recreational and meaningless. It takes away how special kissing can be when it’s with someone you love. It shouldn’t be done with just anyone at anytime. And the second two guys knew that probably before they tried kissing me. I said “I can’t” when they tried. One guy responded “what do you mean ‘youย can’t‘?” and I said that I didn’t kiss guys I don’t know. I said I couldn’t to the other guy too, and he said “right, because we don’t know each other”. It’s like… peopleย know.ย Let’s do each other a favor and have respect for others enough to not try to kiss them two hours after you met them. Or, in the case of the first guy, like 10 minutes. sorry not sorry

Dancing is very passionate. Can be very sensual/sexual. Doesn’t have to be, but can be. Can invoke a sense of closeness with your partner because of the movements. That’s why those boundaries are very important.

One of my girlfriends told me she thought about stopping dancing bachata in general. Because it tends to be more sensual. I don’t want to stop because there are soo many moves one can do that don’t have to be sensual. But the songs often slow down to a point where it seems natural to do more body rolls and isolated movements. Which CAN be done with space in between the dancers. And they can be done well. But if you don’t know who you’re dancing with, and don’t clarify that you don’t dance close up front, you may be disappointed when someone tries to get all close with you.

And it’s hard guys, because it’s nice to be close to people. It’s nice. That physical touch. And non-Christians don’t think about the proximity too much. Don’t question it, because they don’t see the clear line between right and wrong, and don’t have the help of the Holy Spirit saying “more space! It’s for your own good!”. When physical intimacy and closeness is shared between people that aren’t married, things get real confusing. You feel this bond and connection with the person, but only on a physical level. So next time you get lonely, you might think of that person and the proximity and how nice it felt.

But do not be deceived. Plus, setting boundaries is a great way to witness! And as much as I love physical touch, my Jesus is worth WAY more to me than temporary satisfaction. I live because of my God, and I live to please Him. And that means trusting that He’s got something better for me than settling for appeasing my emotions and experiencing “satisfaction” in the meantime. Which, by the way, isn’t real satisfaction because it leads only to confusing results anyway!

So, dancing and kissing. Watch out friends! Don’t be afraid to say no. Know why you’re saying no. Set boundaries. And enJOY! Dancing is wonderful and beautiful and amazing. Dancing itself is not the issue. But don’t let your partner take advantage of your body and skin for their own pleasure. And don’t use other people’s bodies for your own pleasure.

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that His Spirit dwells in your midst?” 1 Corinthians 3:16ย 

xxx <3



before & after dancing

I’m starting to write a post now, at 7:14 because I wanna get hyped for bachata & salsa!!!!!! Not that I really need help, since this is THE highlight of my week…. besides maybe more dancing on Saturday night?!?! And maybe Thursday night?!?!?


But uhh yeahhhhh I bought two new dresses today… Not sure which one I should WEAR! Probably the blue one. I might even post a picture if I take a cute one hehe

So I’m about to get ready and then I’ma drive down to go dance. It’s 45 minutes away. Not bad. I’m used to living in the woods where everything is far away so 45 minutes really aint bad!

I almost wasn’t going to go dancing about 2 hours ago because I was feeling rather ill. But I think the main reason I was feeling illish was because I’ve been eating too many carbs lately and not doing enough exercising!!! So dancing is DEFINITELY what I need! Plus, I didn’t go on Saturday night specifically so I would be well enough to go tonight!

Ba-da-BOOM! Now I pray the Lord guides my steps and keeps me from bumbling too much. I’ve been rather butter-fingerish the last couple of days… hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜€

kk I’ll update later ๐Ÿ˜‰

So here we are. It’s 12:18am… I’m to the place I’m staying a bit earlier tonight. Probably for da best since I gots to get up and go to bible study in the a.m.! Ahhhhh

it was so fun guys. Like, SO fun. I’m just feeling the love of God. He is so good to give me dancing! It’s such a beautiful gift to me. And I’m not going to abuse it like I’ve done with every other exercise. Once a week has been wonderful. Who knows, maybe I’ll go to the one this Thursday. Definitely the one on Saturday night if I’m up for it.

Ooh dang, my hip is definitely talking to me. And my lower back. Lots of spins and twists tonight. Hmm. One guy accidentally hit my hand on the wall. That was pretty funny. He said he would buy me a drink next week. And then he said the guy next to me would buy it. Then he said he’d buy me a soda. I dunno guys, I have a feeling he wasn’t telling the truth ๐Ÿ˜‰

I danced with some patient gentlemen tonight. They were doing the salsa basic with me and said I was pretty good. I really gots to get on the taking-classes-wagon. Perhaps this Sunday? I found a private instructor who teaches on da weekends. We shall see. If I am not too sore/alive after possibly going dancing Saturday night (it goes from 10-2!) then I will see about taking a class Sunday afternoon. Though I should probably call the guy and see if he has any openings and if it’s by appointment only or a walk-in.

Yuppppp fun fun fun it was fun.

Back to the exercise thingy. Words cannot describe my gratitude and awe of my amazing God, the One True King. He had been nudging me to stop working out and trust Him for months and months. I would go a while and then start working out again. I couldn’t see that He would take care of me. So I stopped working out. Started trusting God. And within a few weeks, He gave me an opportunity to dance. After I prayed that He would give me an. opportunity. to. dance. I actually wrote a song called “Father Daughter Dance” which I’ll upload to YouTube eventually (youtube.com/skizarefun09). The song is about the dance of life, and dancing with God by following His lead. <3 <3 <3

But uhhhh yeah dancing is such a wonderful workout, but it’s way more than that. It’s life giving, heart-filling. Satisfy. Rich. Exhilarating. Expressive. Personal. Stylish.

I love dancing with so many different types of folks. I can’t even tell you how many dudes I danced with this evening. And each of them had such different styles! I’m learninggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3


K I should go to sleep now! I gots to get up at …. 7:30 I guess. It’s now 12:43 cuz I got side-tracked on facebook. #CLASSIC

Yeah I get up at 7:30, leave at 8:00. Go to WaWa to get coffee. Prepare the music time when I arrive at da church. I guess. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay life is good.

God is better.

<3 Buenas noches <3


low thrill threshold

my new client uses the phrase “low thrill threshold” when she gets excited about something seemingly mediocre. I lovee this. with two e’s

because it’s soo joyful! There are too many things to find joy in day to day that we choose to overlook because we focus on what’s wrong or worry about what we have yet to do. I am SO thankful that my new lady is joyful. Especially given her circumstances. She is disabled, doesn’t really leave the house, and her husband of 39 years just passed away in August… hmmm

Writing all that down and then reading it makes me feel pretty good about my life and my situation. When I start to feel down or depressed or hopeless it’s a good reminder to look on the bright side and acknowledge it could always be worse.

Back to the low thrill threshold. The littlest things excite me lately. My friend told me yesterday that I seemed “lighter”, and I want to attribute it to dancing. I am very passionate about it and it brings me SO MUCH JOY. It’s so fun. Like soOoOoOOoo funnnn!!! I’ve been missing it in my life for too long!

I danced ballet when I was like 6-10. Then I did some ballet in 8th grade… it was a summer camp. So I was like 13.

Theeeeen I did break dancing my senior year of high school…. and freshman and sophomore years of college. I loved that and got super strong, which was awesome.

So it’s been quite a while since I have danced. Besides dancing around the house when nobody is around! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜‰ <3 ๐Ÿ™‚

Plus, dancing with another person is a whole nother animal. Following the dude while he leads makes me look like a way better dancer than I feel like I am. I know it takes some #skillz to follow well, buhh likkke I know we be lookin like Dancing with the Stars a little bit and I don’t feel like I can take credit for that ๐Ÿ˜€

Anyway, dancing has brought sooo much joy to meeeeeeee and it’s seeping into all other parts of my life! Contagiously! Like a smile or a yawn! I guess more like a yawn, because a smile doesn’t always spur grumpy tired people to smile back.

Now I’m not trying to say that dancing qualifies for a low thrill threshold. It’s quite exhilarating, actually. But the overflow of joy that it continues to bring whenever I think about it in between days that I dance is crazy. All I can say is … Why does God give me such good gifts?!









I mean, ay I’m not complaining. Thanks and praises to my King all da way! He is good and deserves to be praised. That’s all I can say!

SO my fine feathered friends, look for the joy. I pray that God blesses each of you with something that brings you overflowing amounts of joy! He is good and worthy of our praise!!!!!

LOVE to all xxx <3


bachata, salsa, and weak ankles

I am writing this post so as to have accountability with you folks on the internet. Even if I don’t have someone specifically reaching out to me and making sure I’m not doing too much too fast, at least I put this out there; even if it’s just for my own benefit. I’m writing this to make known that I, Velvet, am aware that I often do too much too fast. I rush into things and end up ruining them.

Prime example: dehydrating banana chips in the oven. My roommate was doing it and asked me to keep a watch. I didn’t understand the dehydration process at the time and didn’t bother to ask her questions about it: I just turned up the heat of the oven on my watch. The chips were burned and ruined. I felt awful! Haste makes waste.

With working out, and in this case, dancing, I am a beginner. I took ballet when I was a child but it’s been 15 years. So here we are in a new season, and I want to learn bachata. And I want to master it. But. These things take time. SO I’m putting it out there on the interwebs that I want to do this right. My right ankle is already talking to me from all the dancing I did on Tuesday evening, and then again at home on Wednesday. I didn’t do anything yesterday and I will try not to practice at home today either because I don’t want to give myself an injury early on.

I’m really good at being a machine and pushing through, and getting stuff done — no matter what it takes. I wonder what profession I should be in that wouldn’t be detrimental to myself, my health or others?

In this case, low and slow is the way to go!

It’s going to be hard though, since (1) it’s so much fun and (2) it’s a great workout. Great way to boost endorphins. But uhhhhhhhs


Anyway, that’s that. Just making it known that I want to take this journey slow so I don’t get burnt out.

Lord please protect me from myself! Protect me from my tendency to rush into things and go all-in or all-out and do too much. Lord show me how to be slow, and trust the process. And enJOY the process! Thank you for always taking care of me and for providing for me exactly what I need when I need it. Not when I THINK I need it. I don’t need to be a salsa-master over night ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you for making me more consistent; like You. You are the same yesterday, today and forever… thank you for that! Thank you that you don’t get burnt out and just give up or end up failing. You are perfect in all of your ways. Guide me! Lead me!






is good for the soul. I dreamt about it last night. I am still on cloud9 from dancing bachata and salsa the other night. Bachata can get a little sensual, which I could presume, but have to be careful of next time I go.

Salsa is a whole new world to me. I mean, bachata is too, but it is very easy to pick up. The beat to salsa is on an 8-count, not a 4, like most popular music. The beats that you emphasize with your feet are different depending on whether you’re dancing on salsa1 or salsa2.

I want to take some classes and learn the techniques! Here’s my problem:

I want to learn fast. But I don’t want to screw up my ankle. If I dance too hard too fast, I will definitely hoyt myself. I’m notorious for this, unfortunately. This is how I screwed up my elbow, I think. Overuse. A few summers ago I was a kayak instructor and was kayaking for like 6 hours a day. I hardly kayaked before that summer btw. So I went from doing little to no kayaking to kayaking for 6 hours a day 6 days a week. For 6 weeks straight…. You know what? I really don’t like all these 6’s! Seeing an evil trend here! Get behind me Satan!


Towards the end of that summer I experienced some elbow pain that I’d never experienced before. There are a few other factors that could’ve played into the pain though. Like the fact that I started using a pulaski to cut thru large roots in the ground that we were trying to pull to make way for laying down steps. It was hefty trail work, and I probs shouldn’t have attempted it. It’s strange, when you’re young and fearless and seemingly unstoppable. And then you try something that never leaves you the same way.

Between the kayaking and pulaskiing. And probably the veganism. I was vegan for several months at that point and had already been dealing with bruising all over my legs from nutrient deficiency I assume. Not my proudest summer. But actually, that summer was freakin’ great and made me feel on top of the world. I soo loved being a counselor/trip leader. Tons of funs. And everyone loved me too! Which tends to help things. Except the 14 year old who wanted to have a “boyfriend” and hold hands and God knows what else. My co-leader and I shut that down (or tried to) much to her dismay and embarassment, and seeming hatred towards me after that.


Back to dance. I’m not going to screw it up this time. I definitely want to work on some ankle-strengthening exercises…

And I won’t go dancing every night or anything. Though I am attempted because (1) it’s SO much fun and (2) it’s freakin’ contagious! (3) I want to master it.

I truly want to get good at salsa dancing. It’s thrilling. Dancing with men is thrilling. It seems like men who know how to dance will make good husbands. Okay, maybe that is an overstatement… But following a male leader in dance is very sexy and attractive. The man isย supposed to lead. The lady isย supposed to follow.

Plus, dancing releases mad endorphins since it’s like a workout. Except WAY more fun than a workout. Like, why force myself to do endless cardio when I can go dance………….

Dancing is such a healthy expression of life… I usually reserve dancing for when I’m home alone and can dance throughout the house when nobody is watching me. That is also when I sing loudly. Though lately I have been doing much more of both dancing and singing. Getting used to doing them in front of others is a journey in itself. But justย doing the things is a journey for me. Soooo healthy.







I’m looking forward to the next time I get to dance! Thanks God! For creating dance, music, rhythm… for giving me the opportunity to partake in these things!


God is good, all the time! <3



hurricane and bachata

So. I live in Virginia and am going to be hit with this hurricane pretty soon. Over the next few days, actually. And I have a way out if I want. My dad has offered to fly me home to New Hampshire. Hmmm tempting.

Reasons why I don’t think I should go:

I will miss work on Friday and Saturday. I am currently hurting financially because the man I’ve been caring for for the last couple of years passed away on Saturday night. It feels so weird to say that. It still doesn’t seem real… So because he is gone, and I haven’t found another job yet, I think I should stay here and work at the other job I have.

I love flying. I love adventures. I love spontaneity. I especially love flying for free. I love vacations. I looooooove New Hampshire. And my family. I could fly up for a few days and spend time with my sister, my parents…. my brother! And friends. Friends <3

The decision is coming down to the money though. That hussle is real. I should probably do the responsible thing and stay here and work. Heck, I could even work more than I’m scheduled for since other caregivers may not be able to make it to work in the storm. That would be a major inconvenience to my boss if I dipped out and left, and then he couldn’t find coverage for his wife.

I’ve made up my mind. I’m staying here. Buckling down. And going dancing tonight.

Yep. Tonight I’m going dancing. Ooooh ooh yes it’s going to be fun! Salsa and bachata here I come!


Last night I went bachata and salsa dancing. Mostly bachata TBH because salsa is difficult and I didn’t pick it up very quickly. One of the reasons why it’s so difficult is because there are different counts. There is “salsa 1” and “salsa 2” when you emphasize certain steps. I was getting all sorts of mixed up last night on the dance floor as to whether or not I should be going forwards or backwards, and whether or not my partner was doing salsa 1 or 2…. It was disastrous. Okay, maybe that’s a bit too harsh.

I danced salsa with like 5 people last night. The first person, total flop. He didn’t know how to dance salsa very well himself, and certainly was not in a position to be leading me. The second dude was a little more confident, but our steps were not matching up, and I told him I wasn’t sure what I was doing. So then he proceeded to bring me literally right next to the large speaker so I could “hear” the music, since apparently making yourself go deaf is a good way to do that, and then he began explaining footwork right next to the speaker. I couldn’t hear a word of what he saying, and the only thing I could tell that he said was “do you understand now?” to which I shook my head “no”. So then he brought me over to the DJ table to the dance teacher and said “she doesn’t get it” and so the teacher started to walk me through the steps and he said “nahhh she’s got it, she’s got it!” and then luckily the song ended. And the fellow asked me to dance again, and I said I’m going to go sit down for this one.

The third guy that asked me to salsa was pretty good! He led me and I followed pretty well! It really helped that he didn’t hold back with me because it was my first night. He simply danced. And I followed. It was fun! The fourth guy was the same thing. The fifth guy, I actually danced two bachata songs with him first, and then we tried a salsa song. He kept apologizing, which was pretty cute. Though I was like yo, it’s probably not you. But he wasn’t focusing on what was wrong. He kept moving forward and we had fun!

At the beginning of the evening, there was a little lesson for newbies. First bachata, and then salsa. I made it for some of the bachata lesson, and all of the salsa. Though the salsa lesson seemed very short. Probably because it was all new to me. Immediately after the lesson, I had dude after dude hmu to dance. I danced like five songs in a row and was having lots of fun. But I got spun around like forty times in a row, okay maybe 20…ย  it was excessive — and then I had to go to the bar and drink some water! I got hot and sweaty real quick.

Those were all bachata, and I didn’t even try the salsa for a while. And so when I finally did and the first two people were a flop, I got a little bit discouraged. But honestly, I didn’t learn how to do it all. Didn’t know about the two different counts. It was hard to just feel the music and try to figure out the dude’s footwork without verbalizing it. I’m a verbal kind of girl. Like, if my dance partner would tell me “okay, I’m starting with stepping forward, and we are doing salsa 1” I would’ve been a lot better off (After learning about salsa 1 and knowing how to do it of course). Lol

I think I’m going to practice salsa 1 and salsa 2 today in my room. I want to get good! There were some amAZing dancers there last night. Including a friend of mine and her sister. They were rockin’ the floor! It was beautiful to watch, and very inspiring! It really made me want to learn.

I’m excited, y’all. There are so many fun parts of life that bring life to us, to me. Dancing is something I’ve been craving to do. I remember in 2014, actually right around this time, I was backpacking the John Muir Trail and was going through this open expanse of desert after coming down from a rocky summit. It was very windy and I felt like I sortof had tunnel vision as I followed a narrow, dusty trail across the land, that didn’t seem to be getting any shorter. And I got a word about dancing. I should dance. I knew I should.

That fall I looked into ballet classes. I actually went to a beginner adult class or two. It was super fun. I should dig out my leotard and ballet shoes just for kicks… Oh wait, I think they’re in NH. Hmm.

Anywho, here we are four years later, and I’m beginning a journey of bachata and salsa. God is so good. He gives us what we need! I was praying to him weeks ago asking for an opportunity to dance. And here we are! Beautiful. Fulfilling. Fullness of heart.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

And now we await the storm! Hurricane Florence……. But no matter what the storm brings, I am confident that God will take care of me and continue providing for all that I need; including what I THINK I need, and things that I wouldn’t have thought I needed, but that bring so much joy and hope and life.

He is the giver of life!

xxxx <3