“You were just what I needed”

He said as he continued laughing.

Then he said “God bless you.” before stepping on the gas and turning right on red.

My cheeks hurt from laughing as I closed the styrofoam cajita leftover from my friend’s dinner. Rice, beans and steak.

I didn’t have a fork so I was eating it out of the container like a pig at the trough. hahaahah

And cute Mr. Mystery pulled up beside at just the right moment to see me in all of my piggish glory as I lapped at the rice and beans. A piece of steak hung from my mouth as I glanced over to my right side; only to see him bust out laughing at the sight.

He started to open his window and I reached for mine.

“Thank you. You were just what I needed tonight. God bless you!”


Glad I could make your night, oh random strange man with the twinkle in your eyes. I’m glad my gluttonous habits could be used for your good.

Well, perhaps not gluttonous. Quirky, yes.

Be yourself.

Learn to laugh at yourself.

Live. Life is short. Live.

Good night my friends.






you’d think someone would’ve told me I shouldn’t eat a piece of death-by-chocolate cake late at night. I guess I didn’t think 8:30pm would be late enough to keep me awake. But alas, it’s midnight and here we are. Or perhaps it was accompaniment of the caramel pie that sent me into the gear-turning, wide-eyed reality that I’m currently experiencing.

It’s okay though. I feel a heckuva lot better than I did when I woke up this morning. I woke up feeling on the cusp of getting sick. I took arnica capsules when I first woke up and ate only a small amount of fruit with my coffee so I wouldn’t get too jittery. Then I proceeded to fast for the entire day until 8:30PM drinking only water and taking vitamin C and “airborne”. Airborne is awesome btw. If you’re feeling like you’re coming down with something, take Airborne. I highly recommend it. It’s stopped what have seemed like many-a-cold in their tracks for me. Good stuff. <3

I was busy all day today. I woke up, drank coffee and read bible. Then went to Sunday school, church, ran errands, stopped by a friend’s house, and then went to a birthday party. I was at the party from ~3:00 until 9:00pm. It was a good day! Supah fun. Good weather. Good people. I was happy to be in the company of friends today. God really kept me and sustained me.

I was trying to avoid sugar because I wanted to take care of my body. Which is funny because then I ended up eating a bunch of it. hahaha it honestly could have been worse (amount-wise, for what I did end up eating) and then I followed the cake and pie with some chicken 🙂 then I ate some pimento cheese and crackers, and a piece of bread and butter. Oh! And a little bit of cottage cheese. Sugar and cheese. lol *shrug*

Tomorrow’s another day. But I praise God that I’m feeling better! Now I’m praying that I’ll be able to go to sleep after posting this. Which I am pretty confident that I will be able to.

Tomorrow I can sleep in (AKA I won’t set an alarm and will realistically wake up around 7:00/7:30 …) and will coffee/bible and head to work around 8:30am? Which isn’t too bad. I’m excited about tomorrow… and this week. There are a couple fun dancing events that I’m going to this week!!! WOOOT!!! And my knees are BOTH feeling good PRAISE GOD <3

Honestly this past week has been really rough and my world has been crashing down around me a little bit, but God is still good. And I still trust Him and stand on Him, my solid rock. He is still providing, caring for me, encouraging me, and I know He is bringing me to the places I need to go; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know the One who will bring tomorrow. And I’m grateful. So very grateful. My work here is not yet done. And it’s His work, really. But I’m a vessel, and I’m ready to go wherever He’ll send me. Even if it’s to an uncomfortable place. To face an uncomfortable situation.

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

Here I am Lord.

Send me!

And now send me to bed plz. Death by chocolate, please don’t keep me up. I love you, but please, let me rest. 😛

Goodnight <3




A little bit of indigestion

Is what I’m currently experiencing

Because I was so hungry

And the chicken thighs were so delectable


Along with that cruciferous broccoli

And now I’m going to be sorry 

But nothing a little Tums can’t cure 

That chicken left me wanting more

I thought of a child licking her plate clean

When it had cake and ice cream on it

As I stood licking my plate clean

To make sure none of the confit’ed poulet ever saw its’ demise


Hee hee 

That’s why I love chicken thighs

The fattiness is where the $$ is 

Take the breast away at once

Gimme them thighs


Haha goodness. I’m a foodie, what can I say?!?!

I love being able to appreciate food and all the different flavors … to enjoy it and give thanks for it. God truly outdid Himself when he thought of So. Many. Amazing. Foods for us to enjoy. 


I’m so thankful that God gives us the pleasure of enjoying food. Another aspect of His amazing creation we get to enjoy. Praise God! And Lord help me not to forget to praise and thank you each time I partake in another meal. <3


He didn’t have to give us pleasure at all. But He wants us to enjoy Him. I love the BSF children’s song “What is the Purpose of My Life”. The lyrics are:


“What is the purpose of my life?

To know God, love Him, enjoy Him, and glorify Him.” x2


That’s the short version of the song anyway. But uhhh that’s some solid TRUTH right thurr! If only I had understood that years ago. Like, from my birth.


Hahaha 🙂


Now I’m on my way to work. And by work I mean a Downton Abbey marathon. Lol one of my clients and I have been watching Downton together for the last few months and gotta pick up the pace because …. Drum roll plz… there’s a MOVIE coming out in September! That’s right people. It’s purty exciting. So tonight we’re gonna watch three episodes. I hopefully will be done with work by 11pm. Which is definitely late. Haa but it’s cool because I took a nap today. Not to mention I went to bed at 9:15 last night. Not to say that going to bed early one night is enough sleep for two nights. The nap helped. I promise! 😛 


I’m sleeping at a client’s house this week which is kinda weird cuz she kinda roams around in the middle of the night?!?! And the house is WAY too warm at night. I prefer keeping the AC at 70 degrees. This chick (she’s 82) has her thermostat at 76 degrees. :O The lats two nights I’ve tolerated sleeping at 73 degrees. But really y’all, it’s been a little rough. I just don’t wanna freeze her out yknowmsaynnn


It’s only til Monday though. I can do dis. I gave up my bedroom because the people I live with have family in town this week and needed my room. It’s all good! Livin’ that gypsy life haha. I’m so excited though because I’ll be moving soon!!!! Hoorayyy!! Don’t ask me where I’m moving to though. That’s TBD. I’m trusting and believing that God will provide the perfect place <3 


7 minutes until I have to leave for work. 


Dearest Lord and King… thank you for your constant provision. Thank you for a quiet space. Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for giving me rest. Thank you for giving me focus while I work. Thank you for phone calls from old friends and a place to prepare healthy food. Thank you for my jobs, working car, working phone…. Thank you Lord for preparing me in every way to complete every task you put before me. Including praying to you when I’m anxious and unfocused. You are the ultimate caregiver. Thank you for making me like You one moment at a time. I love you <3 Amen.


What’s one thing from God that you’re thankful for?








validation and red sauce

I’m up writing this post partially to give you an opportunity to validate me. The other part is because I need to share this sauce with the world.

Trader Joe’s already did. It’s their “Autumnal Harvest Creamy Pasta Sauce”.


And I simply canNOT get enough. I really can’t. To tell you how many jars of this sauce I have gone through in the last… week. Would be embarrassing. Six. Wait just kidding, that might be the last month though.

It is THAT good. I kid you not. I don’t know what makes it that good. Maybe the cream? The butter? By golly it’s delicious. I have been using literally everything as a vessel to get this sauce into my mouth.

Bread. Crackers. Pasta. Cheese. Pita chips. Lettuce. Eggs. Tomatoes.

I could go on. I might have a problem. Or maybe there’s something in this jar that my body really needs more of. But guys. The craving is real.

Cold. I’ve been eating this sauce cold, by the spoonful.

But mostly on top of other shtuff. It’s amazing. I can’t recommend it highly enough. And at only $3.50 a jar….. SUCH A STEAL. I was in Fresh Market the other day looking for a similar sauce and there were a few that looked like they might come close but they were all $7-8 a jar!??! I was like ummm nahh I’m going to TJ’s.

Funny cuz I used to make fun of TJ’s in college. I used to say Trader Joe’s was BS because their organics all came from Mexico. Cheaper to us because they underpaid workers down south and then ruined the environment by shipping stuff.

And here I am, buying from them. Hypocrite? Maybe a little. Oh the person I used to be compared with the person I am now. Oh the changes. Oh the seasons. Oh the priorities.

I still haven’t heard from youIs this where I start singing “Irreplaceable”? “I could have aNOTHER you in a minute, in a fact HE’LL be here in a minute, babyyyy”.

I don’t even really care whether or not I hear from you though, that’s the thing. It’s just my spontaneous OCD that is wondering why you haven’t responded to my message. I shall now go on to talk about sauce. And life.

Actually, that’s all for the sauce shpeal. Shauce Shpeal

On a fun note, only three days til I head to my writing conference! WOOOOOOOOT! Road trip! Definitely bought a couple articles of clothing for the experience, so that’s exciting!

Also, gotta check into the dance scene once again so I can decide which night/nights to go dancing after the conference each night. YaSsSSssS adventure time! Today I got my car inspected (on the 1st of the month, look at meeeeee) and it passed! Okay, I really just wanted to make sure my car would be okay on the journey to the conference because it’s six hours away. I’m not usually THIS responsible. And actually, I don’t recommend getting your car inspected on the first day or first three days of any given month because of the overflow of people leftover from last month that didn’t get their inspection until now; when it’s too late.

Praise God that He opened up a spot in the line of cars for me to get in there are do it ahead of time! Praise God that it passed! It has been making a sortof funky sound lately so I wasn’t sureee if everything was okay.

But I’m good to go! Excited to go too!!

Thanks for validating me. Or at least easing my OCD. Time for bed.

Life is beautiful people. God is good, and He cares for His sheep.

He cares for me. And He loves us all.


<3 V


Today I’m very tired. I think it’s a combination of eating a lot of chocolate yesterday, and also losing a lot of sleep this week. For example, last Sunday (6 days ago) I was up til ~430am and choppily slept til like 10……… Took a short nap that afternoon for like 45 minutes, aka 20 minutes of sleep #catnap annnd then got a regular night of sleep Monday night. Tuesday I was up til 1 dancing and got up at 8, & Wednesday I did a night shift starting at midnight and ending at 8 am. I mostly got to sleep during the shift but I was up 12-1 and then woke at 3 to check on my lady and then at 6 to get her up and help her to the commode. So uhhhh yeah definitely behind on sleep. No wonder I’m so dang tired. But the lots of chocolate thing didn’t help either.

Oh my goodness I just LOVE WRITING! Thank you God for the gift of words. It is a privilege to be able to write out my thoughts, even so I can just read them and make sense of them and figure out what I need to change in my life.

Like the amount of carbs I eat. Honestly, I’ve come a long way. But yesterday I definitely over carbed with chocolate and peanut butter filled pretzels. So today I’ma eat some vegetables and meat. Sounds appealing! Also I could go for a nap! I think my blood sugar spiked a little too high and came crashing down. That’s definitely part of it.


Haha it’s funny because I just realized it’s 2pm and I should probably have some lunch, so I grabbed some dried mango, trail mix and a granola bar. Aka more nuts and chocolate #facepalm

Hey I need to go to the grocery store alright?! I do have a little bit of chicken… And some boiled eggs. But that’s it. I gots to get some vegetables and meat for this week. And more eggs that I can scramble.

Eggs, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms

Chicken, salad stuff (romaine, cucumbers, carrots)

Tuna… ?! zucchini, peppers, celery

Yeah vegetables actually sound suuuuper appealing to me rn hahaah probably cuz I’ve been lacking in the vegetable department.

YO last night I actually had a craving for carrots and meant to hit the store buuut I ended up talking to my brother on the phone for an hour and a half and then was too lazy to go. Well, kinda. I actually just felt like doing other stuff. So I showered, ate dinner (at like 9pm) and then watched some videos, did social media shtuff, and watched some old videos of mine from 7-8 years ago. Not gonna lie, it was weird to watch those!

I did get tired last night around 10:30, but instead of going to bed, I ate some snacks and stayed up til midnight. Tonight I’m going to bed early. Ba-da-BANG it’s decided.

We have to take care of ourselves. When your body says sleep, sleep! When your body says carrots, buy carrots. I googled carrot craving and read several articles and posts that suggested I may be anemic. I mean, take errthang on the internet with a grain of salt, I get that. But it’s something interesting to consider! Carrots don’t have any iron in them, but craving carrots has been linked to anemia…. interesting….

Maybe I should go to the doctor and ask about that. LOL if you knew me though, you would know that I don’t go to the doctor. Ever. But I’m about to lose my health insurance next month (when I turn 26) and may try to go to the doctor before that. IDK.

I really don’t want to buy health insurance. I hate buying into the dumb system. I should pray about that. It’s smart to have insurance so you don’t have to pay out the butt if something goes wrong, buuuuut paying for insurance sucks. I will say I am super glad I have car insurance and have saved a lot of money with that! I’ma look into insurance people. I’ma do it. Any suggestions? Recommendations?

K that’s it for now. Time to play guitar for my client! #jobperks

xxx <3


I’m free! & Dear Food <3

Oh my goodness. I’m out. I am finally out……..

It seems surreal. Hard to believe. Almost impossible. Could it be true? My God. I’m out.


I’m living in freedom.

My chains are broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

Chains of surfeit.

Excess. Overeating. Binging. Comfort eating. Stuffing down my emotions, my anxieties, my fears, worries, feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, regret, low self-esteem, failure.

Overeating to numb myself. To comfort myself. To hide myself. To hide and remain hidden underneath the weight of what I ate. The extra weight. The excess.

Yes, I’ve always eaten a little too much. To cope. To deal. Too much food, the wrong kinds of food, junk. Sugar. There’s a great book called “Food: the Good Girl’s Drug” by Sunny Sea Gold. It’s about having an actual addiction to food. Check it out using the link below:


I’ve done this for years. For way too freakin’ long. First time I remember binging out was probably Halloween candy when I was like 6 or 7. Well actually, I ate some cookies when I was 4 when my mom was outside… I remember doing it to spite her. And of course, because cookies. 🙂

But those days are behind me. So I’m going to write a note to food real quick:


Dear Food,

You are so good. What you do for the human body is amazing. You keep me going. You give me energy and strength when I indulge the proper amount. But I have abused you. I have abused you for most of my life. I have taken advantage of you. I have hidden behind you. I have masked myself in you. I have hated you. I have tried to shun you. I have avoided you. I have come crying back to you countless times. And you’re always there. I can’t avoid or escape you. So instead, I have learned how to love you and how to treat you.

Thank you for always being there. Thank you for not disappearing. Thank you for all of the comfort you can’t help but give.

I used to hate you and what you did to me. I thought of so many ways to avoid you. Vegetarian, vegan, sugar free, carb free, atkins, athleticism, “not hungry”, “already ate a big meal”, binge & restrict. Not eat at all. Eat and throw it all up. What a broken relationship I had with you. How flawed. How devastating. How stressful.

And to think that now… I love you…  and know I am beyond blessed to have you. To have a healthy relationship with you is something I never dreamed possible. But here we are. I look forward to seeing you and enjoying you multiple times a day. I think of reasons to go out with you with friends and enjoy life and eating together.

Food, our relationship has been on a downward spiral, emotional roller coaster, and has always included a large elephant blocking us from properly understanding each other. But it’s gone. The elephant is gone and I can see you properly.

I need you. I want you. I’m thankful for you.

…But I’m not going to come over in the middle of the night anymore. I’m not going to hide you from my loved ones; my family and friends. I’m not going to be ashamed of you. I’m not going to blame you anymore. I don’t feel ashamed for being with you. In fact, I brag about you.

I don’t know where we’re going to go from here, but I know it’s a beautiful direction. I know you never meant to have me in chains, but I have been in them. You never meant to bind me or drug me or cloud my vision. I have taken it upon myself all of these years so I didn’t have to think. So I didn’t have to move. So I didn’t have to feel.

Now that I’m free and have all of this energy I can finally live. I wasn’t living to the full in chains. Who could? I’m no longer a slave to you; in my body or in my mind. I’m going to tell the world now. About our story. About healing. About the place I’ve come from and the place I’m at. With you, in general.

And there’s so much life to live! I know you won’t be running through my mind all the time like you used to. But I think you’ll understand. I won’t need to count calories anymore. I won’t need to go to work out to compensate for indulging in too much of you anymore. I won’t spend too much time indulging or any time at all feeling sorry about it. About the consequences or the guilt. All of those things no longer haunt me because I’m free.

It feels weird to be free. Maybe like how inmates feel after getting released from prison after being in there their whole lives. I’m learning how to act and be and live for maybe the first time. True living. True, unchained, life-giving, grateful, healthy, God-centered living.

So food, thank you. I’m so glad to have you in my life. I thank God for you. Oh, how I thank God.

Love & xxx

<3 V


There aren’t many things worse than when you’re itching to go on an adventure or do something incredible but you can’t because your physical body is sick. I’m one of those people who tends to get sick more than other people… It’s the unfortunate combination of (1) a weak immune system mixed with (2) the inability to eat small amounts of sugar mixed with (3) having the capacity to spread myself thin like too little butter over too much bread mixed with (4) fate.

I’ve gotten better at avoiding being sick over the years but that inevitable cold Creeps in every few months or every so often. Today is February 8th and it’s been about 3 months since I was last sick with a small head cold. The last time I was sick for a solid week was at the end of September and the beginning of October when I moved from one apartment to the next, started a new job and started taking care of seven or eight little toddlers every week. Being around children that young is a sure-fire way of getting ill but the Lord has protected me ever since for the most part.

Unfortunately there are still other factors that I can control that helps me to stay well but I haven’t gotten smart enough to avoid them completely. One of my downfalls is eating too much sugar which is why I am doing a 21-day sugar detox currently. I am on day 11 right now and things have been going pretty well. For the first 7 days I only consumed 55 grams of sugar give or take a couple of grams and the last 4 days I have tried to be sugar-free. There was one instance the other night where a couple of chocolate caramels made their way onto my plate without me being able to do anything about it so I’m going to let that slide… But for the most part I have been sugar free and it is definitely not been fun. I have had a headache, fatigue and worst of all I think these cold symptoms have something to do with the detoxing effect.

You see, I have never taken a legitimate break from sugar in my entire life. I can remember being 4 years old and robbing the cookie jar as soon as my mother went outside and left me alone in the house. After that I have been known to consume large quantities of sugar every few days and also replace regular meals with a large portion of dessert justifying it because I didn’t really eat a meal so then I could obviously have a giant bowl of ice cream with a brownie on top with a side of three cookies and chocolate syrup and sprinkles and caramel and extra sugar on the side.

But for real, I am not used to not eating sugar and I am very thankful that I’m able to do this detox. I just hope it creates a rift between sugar and I that makes me not even crave the stuff. Whoever says that sugar is not on the same level as other drugs hasn’t suffered with a sugar addiction before. I see this seriously now but for a long time I have joked about it saying that I have sweet teeth and I love dessert and things to that effect. And all that stuff is true… But what is also true is that sugar has led to overeating and weight gain and keeping on weight that keeps me lethargic, makes me unhappy, and weakens my immune system all the same time. So I’m thinking if I can cut this tie with my good friend sugar once and for all I will be able to avoid some of these things for good. I’m not saying I believe that I’m never going to get another cold in my whole life once I stop eating a lot of sugar but I know that it is definitely a factor that I have some control over. Nor am I saying that I’m never going to eat sugar again… I believe that God gave me the gift of self control and it is my desire to exercise that self control over every area of my life including eating. I want to be able to enjoy sugar and dessert in small quantities every so often and I don’t want to give it up for good. But this detox is good for me in the way that my mind won’t automatically start thinking about sweets every time I am finished eating. It might take more than 21 days for this to happen, especially because the first seven I wasn’t completely sugar-free… But at least it’s a start!

Have you detoxed from sugar before? Are you a sugar addict? Post your comments below!

Love you all!


Garlic: natural cure-all


We all know the feeling. The tickle in the back of our throats. The wave of fatigue subtly washing over us. The thought crosses our mind — Oh no, I think I’m getting sick!

Thoughts of work and school cancellations pop up like corn kernels in a sauce pan. The desire to visit with friends at the beach is out the window and the thought of a comfy bed seems more and more inviting.

At this time, in the beginning stages of when you think a sickness is coming on, it’s time to whip out the garlic.

Stop Your Sickness in its’ Tracks

Find 1-3 cloves raw garlic. Crush under a knife. Eat it.

If you’re ballsy, consume naked and vigorously, chewing the crushed cloves and withstanding the burn of the juices as your nostrils flare and your eyes water. (Or actually cry because of the potency!)

If you’re sane, add to a piece of toast, some beans, some crackers. Anything to make the garlic go down easier.

But really chew it up. Chew till it burns.
Meanwhile, drink tea. Fresh ginger, mint, and lemon juice tea will do the trick. And rest as much as possible. Avoid refined sugar. Avoid processed ginger ale soda, and opt for the real thing.

This was me a couple days ago. Where rest was NOT possible. I was cleaning houses back to back. It was extremely hot outside and cleaning is no lazy task. For me it was water, water, tea, rest for 10 minutes, water. In between each house I took a 30 minute break and popped 1,000 mgs of pure C and closed my eyes.


5 houses and 2 days later, I’m good. The garlic is a miracle worker, folks. Now I’m not a doctor, nor will this work every single time for everyone, but I have had many successful attempts at avoiding getting sick thanks to Mr. G. Mr. Garlic that is.

As soon as I ate the garlic I felt a chemical change occurring inside of me. Yes, it could have been heart burn… But honestly, I was feeling good pretty quickly 😉

Give ‘er a try. Garlic, fluids, rest as much as possible.

Good luck <3