Tag: writing

Friends

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

It’s been a while! I miss writing. I’ve been trying to sit down and write a post for a minute but haven’t had a whole lot of opportunities to do so! But here we are ^_^

Happy Sunday everyone. With only 40 minutes left of the day, perhaps I should say happy Monday to all you early risin’ readers. I personally won’t be waking up til… 7ish tomorrow. Going to work at 8ish. Then the store, then studying books, swimming… bible study, work.

Days and weeks are packed, but life is good. And God still gives me time to rest. He has taught me how to rest better. He taught me why I need rest and how to set proper boundaries for rest. He taught me that resting isn’t always sitting around doing nothing or reading, but sometimes it’s walking outside, or singing, writing, or having fellowship with good people.

Yes, God is good, rest is good, and I have learned a lot. I have so much left to learn, but I depend on and trust in the Lord’s wisdom to guide my steps!

This week I’m excited for Tuesday because it’s dress-like-a-cow-and-get-free-chick-fil-a. Yep. Definitely know what I’m having for dinner on Tuesday night! Then my chicken experience will be followed by salsa dancing, and possibly a trip to the beach.

It’s crazy how the weeks fly by. But God is doing big things and working in big ways. I’m so thankful to Him and the work that He has done in my heart and the gifts that he showers me with everyday in life; despite my mistakes and failures.

It’s so interesting how He answers prayers too…. He knows the desires of my heart but is choosing to answer them in unexpected ways.  I will expand on this when there’s more information and confirmation to be put out there. 😉 <3

My laptop is about to die and I’m too lazy to walk into the next room and get my charger; and I should also go to bed. So.

That concludes tonight’s mini-update. More later folks.

xxx

<3

V

Dancing

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

I’m so looking forward to dancing more.

Dance dance dance dance dance

My right knee has been hurting a leeeeeeeeeetle beet but I’m still gonna go dancing. My left ankle was also sUPEr tight this morning when I woke up so I elevated it for a while, massaged it, and then slathered it in olive oil and peppermint oil right before putting on my croc-like sandles. This last part was not such a great idea because my foot was sliding all around inside the sandal and almost coming off my foot. I should have put a dorky sock on to avoid sliding or maybe chosen a different pair of shoes. But it was 90 degrees today and “felt like 99” so I knew I wanted to wear sandals buuuut most of them are rubber. And my sandals that aren’t rubber aren’t shoes that I want to slather in oil hahah. The struggle

Anyway, ankle feels a lot better tonight. Right knee is a little funk but I think I will put some peppermint oil on it tonight after I finish typing this post and before turning out my bedroom light.

I have work tomorrow and want to be well. After work I am dancing and definitely want to be well for that too…

My heart leaps for dancing and fills me up.

I’ve also decided to stop drinking alcohol for the summer. Or even longer, I don’t know. Not that I drank very much before; 2 beers, 2 gin and tonics, 2 glasses of wine. Whatever. A margarita. I’ve thought about stopping drinking totally on and off and did stop drinking two summers ago for the summer and it blessed me incredibly. I felt the nudge again so I’ma commit. It won’t be hard to not drink, but I will miss the alcohol a tad bit when I’m hanging out with certain people or at certain places. But I’m excited y’all!

Tomorrow is the summer solstice. Very exciting! The weather looks pretty good too. Not too high humidity and not too hot. For Virginia anyway. Mid 80s. I’ve changed y’all. I’ve turned a new leaf with this heat thing. I still loathe humidity and avoid it at all costs but I can handle the heat a lot better than I used to. I still have to be careful and only stay out for ~an hourish to avoid passing out hahah but hey.

Other things coming up: a prayer and worship night. A ladies night. A concert….

A spontaneous trip to New England possibly?

Lots of reading <3

Videos to be posted <3

Time to be spent with awesome peeps <3

Dancing <3

2019 summer, here we come! 🙂

Lord, I’m grateful for the fullness that you’ve given me in your son, Jesus. He came to bring life, and life to the full, and I experience this as I walk by your Spirit and in your ways. Thank you for teaching me to value the invaluable: Truth and righteousness. Thank you for taking care of me and taking the time to communicate with me. Jehovah Nissi…. the Lord my banner; I love thee <3

xxx

V

10:34PM

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

Guys y’all don’t even know, I super want to go to bed rn.

I am so freakin’ tired. But I’m sitting here with my client and she is taking her sweet time. I didn’t tell her that I wanted to go to bed early but I did say that I need to get more rest and go to bed earlier in general. However, she really prefers starting to get ready for bed at 11:00PM. See, if it was 10PM I could go to bed a little after 11. Since it’s 11, I don’t get to bed til after 12/12:30PM. Sigh.

Is this a conversation I need to have? I guess so, if I want it to change. I just hate conversations that inconvenience people. I want to be sooooo go-with-the-flow and never a burden, but I end up getting upset and frustrated that things aren’t going the way that I want them to go. I could sink into this couch and close my eyes and go to SLEEP. That’s what I really want to do. Hmm. When I stay up so late I feel stretched thin. Especially after having such a full day. I have full days.

Work, Sunday school, church, lunch with a friend, CVS, nap, eating, biking, shower, work….

I am getting paid to sit here and write this at least. Ha.

But I’d rather be sleeping :/

I guess I should approach this topic in the morning. It’s too late to approach it now. Instead of beating around the dang bush like I’m used to doing. Golly.

Instead of saying “I would love to finish by 11:30 instead of 12:30, would you be willing to work with me?”

I just hate dealing with people’s expressions. Their irritated/bothered/”Awwwwwww man” looks.

So in order to avoid that discomfort, I don’t say anything at all. And instead I get frustrated myself. And overtired. And emotional. And it makes me want to cry.

This is something that I’m working on. Speaking up about what’s bothering me. Usually it’s after the thing has been bothering me for a bit because at first I go with it and hope it will no longer bother me. I am very quick to say “it’s all good, no problem, that’s fine”. And quickly avoid any reason to experience tension.

Growing pains. For me, for others. Dealing with conflict instead of running away. Hahahhaahaha wow. I’m laughing because of something I just realized. I posted a meme the other day that said something about “we need to learn how to deal with conflicts instead of ending every relationship because you feel like someone doesn’t deserve you”. Sometimes I align with that and wish that people would consider meeeeeeeeee more often. But everyone is so selfish and if I don’t speak up, I can’t expect someone else to know what I want. Hahahaha

Don’t expect others to read your mind. I should make a video on this.

Okay y’all, I’m gonna get up and do some stuff. Keep moving around so I don’t freakin’ fall asleep. Also, my lady just said “I’m also done and then I’ll get moving cuz I know you’re a tired girl”.

She knows.

And yet, it’s 11:08 and we’re no closer to being done than we were 34 minutes ago. 🙁

I even just tried to help expedite the process of the evening but it didn’t work. I have to accept my fate that I probably won’t be in bed until 12:30AM.

That does mean more money. But I can’t go shopping when I’m DEAD.

Okay I’m done. I’m going to go research cell phones now; since my phone is literally about to crap the bed. Hahahhah it’s been like that for a while now. I’m just torn as to whether or not I should get the exact same phone that I have had for the past 3.5 years (for free) or buy a new phone (@ $25ish/month)…  the new phone would have a much better camera and more storage space which are two big draws. But I might be able to get a Droid Turbo 2 with more storage space built in, and the brand new camera could be better than my camera which could have gotten a bit old.

OK

I’ll be back

xxx

<3

V

2:51 PM

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

and I’m about to fall asleep.

I was yawning all throughout the church service this morning (for a different reason than everybody else) .. (haha jk) since I got very little sleep last night. I did, however, dream that I went to a Latin social dancing event. And there are THREE different ones going on now and tonight that I’m sadly not going to attend because I need to rest.

Last night I slept at my client’s house and the thermometer was too high so I was too hot and couldn’t sleep. Tonight I’m sleeping there again and you bettah beLIEVE that I’m changing the thermostat to cooler than freakin’ 76 degrees. My b

Anyway, I’m tired and am about to take a nap. Right after the house tour that’s going on currently is over and done with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL my girlfriend’s family is here catching a tour because the house I live in is unique and her family was dropping her off something that she forgot at home. She is working today for one of the ladies that we both take care of (this is how we met and became friends) and her family just popped over to bring her the thing she forgot and now they’re getting a house tour. Which the homeowner loves to do: give house tours. He’s given one to me and many of my friends 😀

SO when the tour ends, I will be able to sleep. They haven’t come downstairs yet, which is where I reside, so I feel the need to remain dressed and ready to show my bedroom if necessary, or at least say “oh, hello! Don’t mind the mess in my living room area!”. I mean, it’s whatever, but y’know, kinda routine to comment on the state of things when they aren’t particularly dazzling.

Not justifying, by any means, but just uhhhh pointing out the state before they might point it out. I guess it makes me feel less judged, or makes me believe that I am less judged if I say “sorry” before their eyes say something to me.

Words are important. That little “Sorry” can really prevent a lot of pointless overthinking on my part. Communicating that I am “sorry” about the state of or the appearance of my living space suggests that if I had known they were coming over, I would’ve taken the time or made the effort to clean it up on their behalf. It shows them that I care. OH! Here they come!

 

Lol so uhh I literally just hovered by my door and didn’t open it at all and they toured my common space/living room and then walked by my bedroom and the homeowner said “we won’t go in Velvet’s room, but that’s where it is” and I was literally frozen like a deer-in-headlights the entire time. I am awkward.

Hhahaah but also I am wearing short shorts and a sweater with a hole in it so I didn’t want them to judge me for my outfit. So instead I will let them judge the uncleanliness of my living room (it’s really not that bad) and my social awkwardness since I just met them upstairs and then disappeared into my room. But also, at the same time, I live here and I was gone all day and I’m exhausted and don’t owe anyone anything; even politeness. Which, I was polite, by the way. This is just me overthinking again.

Overthinkers tend to think things through as they ………….. think about them. Hahaha okay nevermind. I guess I process things better when I write or type my thoughts out or bounce them off of other people in conversation. Not sure what this is. Just a random slew of happenings in my mind and hallway. Happy birthday, I know you wanted so badly for me to relay these happenings to you.

And now I sleep. More later

xxx

V

Haste makes waste

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This is one of my life’s mantras. I think it often, say it more often and follow it very little.

Well, I take that back. I’ve gotten a lot better at not being hasty. But there are still many things that I am hasty in. One of them is talking too much to other people before there’s really anything to say. If you know what I mean. Let’s frame this in the way of a dating relationship.

A guy likes me. Or better yet, I like a guy. And BLAM I start telling people. Why? Because I’m guy-obsessed. And people love talking about love and dating relationships. It’s something everybody wants. A relationship, someone to take care of and be cared for by.

Ya

So I have this knack for speaking my mind about somebody that’s on my heart way too soon. And it gets me into trouble. Because then I have ___ people giving me advice about the potential crush. Some advice is good and godly and helpful. Other advise might seem encouraging but ends up being confusing and unhelpful.

And then there’s my own flip-flop of a heart. That might be the worst adjective I could have chosen to describe my heart because it’s really the action of a flip-flop that I’m referring to. Or I guess the interchanging action of two flip-flops. They’re called flip-flops because when you’re wearing this type of shoe, each step you take seems to make a noise that sounds, I guess, like “flip” and then “flop”. Wow, typing this out seems like one of the most futile ways I’ve ever spent my time.

Hahahaah I love being hyperbolic in my writings. I also love starting a blog post with absolutely no direction and seeing where my thought train takes me (and you, dear reader).

Anyways, back to flip-flops.

I’m from New Hampshire and kids in my high school used to wear flip-flops to school in the wintertime. hahah I did it too sometimes. I guess we thought we were cool or rebellious or a mixture of both. Bada$$ I think. For subjecting ourselves to sickness and slipping all over the ice. Sigh. Who even knows. What I do know is that I think about those times almost every time I put on a pair of flip-flops. It really made an impact on me.

Decisions do that. They really make an impact on your life and the life of those around you. We can’t just do things willy-nilly. Flip-nilly. Willy-flop. hahaha Belly-flop. 😀

The bible says these important words:

“Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” 1 Cor. 10:31″

Do all to the glory of God.

All.

Every breath I take

Every thought that crosses my mind

Every step I take

Every action I complete

Every motive

Every choice, whether it be in regards to walking across a room, the order in which I complete a list of tasks, whether or not I’m going to call a friend to talk or make plans, planning trips to the supermarket or out of town, to dance or not to dance, to pray or not pray, to read or write or sleep or go out or stay in or cover my co-workers shift or take on a new responsibility or choose to weep or choose to focus and rejoice or

Every thing

All things in my life. Every thought, word and deed must be done for the glory of my living, omnipotent Creator, God. 

So it’s 6:35pm. I have to go to work soon. How shall I spend my time? Besides finishing this post. Shall I even finish it or post it? I think I will.

I have to pack my clothes for tonight and tomorrow. Toiletries, church attire… books including my sermon notes notebook, bible, reading material. Phone charger. Packing won’t take me long.

I want to finish work by 11:30 and it generally takes two hours so if I arrive by 9:30 I should leave my house at 9:00pm.

That leaves me 2 hours and 23 minutes to pack and leave. So besides 5 minutes of packing, how shall I spend the next 2 hours and 15 minutes?

What would bring glory to my Father?

Reading a book on spiritual disciplines I suppose. Since I’m trying to write a book on disciplines but I can’t stay disciplined enough to finish it. HA I GUESS THAT’S WHY PEOPLE SAY “THOSE WHO CAN’T DO TEACH” LOL

Good news is, I’m feeling a lot better in my spirit right now than I was earlier. Earlier I was freaking out because I’ve been worried about whether or not I should give this dude a chance or not. While I’m reading, I’m going to be praying. Praying for clarity. Praying for patience. Praying for guidance and confirmation.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

<3

<3

<3

I’m listening…

<3

<3

<3

How will y’all spend your Saturday night?

xxx

V

$100k

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

My job is very interesting at times. Like yesterday and today for example. I got to go for test drives in two expensive cars.

Yesterday was a Mercedes SL. Today was a Tesla S2.

The Mercedes was 10 years old and had ~70k miles on it. The Tesla was 2 years old and I’m not sure how many miles were on it but not many.

I’m a private in-home caregiver and take care of three different ladies one-on-one in their homes. I live with the man that invited me out to test drives each of these cars the last two days and take care of his wife two days a week.

There are some perks to being a caregiver ;D Going on random adventures with the people you’re helping out is one of them! (And getting paid for it! 😛 XD)

IMG_20190615_125508225IMG_20190615_125609996TESLACheck out the screen inside the Tesla! My goodness. It’s like the size of my laptop screen turned on its’ side. Beautiful, clean and can go 0-60mph in 3.8 seconds.

Apparently the new Tesla S3 can go 0-60 in 2.6 seconds.

And the Roadster (supposedly coming out next year) can go 0-60 in 1.8 seconds!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine?!

The Tesla is all-electric too, which means it doesn’t have an engine. Doesn’t require gas. Imagine never having to pump gas again!

It also has an auto-pilot option…. a little creepy but pretty amazing technology!

Anyway, that was a fun way to break up the day. I had butterflies in my stomach when my neighbor punched the gas like he did! At a moment I wasn’t really expecting hahah

Hope y’all have an exciting rest of your day! Time to go back to work ;P

Ps. I think I want a Tesla now…. gotta start saving my pennies 😀

xxx

<3

V

I shouldn’t be writing

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because of how tired I am. Just wanted to let you all know that I’m going to bed. It’s 10:03 and I’m going to bed. To sleep. I’m turning out the light. Promise.

I think I’ll wake up feeling much better after getting a sufficient amount of rest. Trying to think about what I can’t control and the things I have to step up and do is overwhelming and depressing right now. Trying to operate when you’re exhausted is not a good idea.

Tomorrow I work 9-6, then 9:30-11:30PM.

Then Sunday morning 8:30-10:30AM, then church, coffee with a friend, home to rest for a few, then work again 9:30-11:30PM.

Then work again Monday 8:30-11:30AM. Home to rest. Meeting, game night, work 10PM-12AM.

Work 7-9AM, 9:15-3:15PM. Dancing?

Thank you Lord, for teaching me how to rest properly. Even though my schedule is sporadic, I know it won’t be forever, and I’m grateful for my jobs. Teach me how to set proper boundaries around rest and not be a work-a-holic or stay too busy. <3

 

GOONITE!

xxx

V

Where do I even start?

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

Hello wordpress world. I have missed you. I traveled up north to New England a week and a half ago to visit family and go to my sister’s high school graduation and I just got back this morning. I had a red-eye flight and had to be at the airport at 4:30AM.

It’s funny because I expect the airport to be quiet-ish at that time of day. But no, it’s super busy. And people were laughing and smiling and cracking jokes. And I was naht. I was on the same page as my Uber driver. He was quiet, and I too was quiet.

I sorta slept on the plane. The nodding-your-head every few minutes type of sleeping that is proof that I was actually asleep. Although I’m surprised that I didn’t get whiplash from all the times my head jerked up after I fell asleep. Thoughts of contemplating buying one of those neck pillows… Hmm someone just told me the other day they don’t work very well. Oh well!

So I’m back in my abode. And have eaten, slept, went on a nap and took care of a couple things for a couple people. Soon I will shower, clean my room and make my bed, and then possibly go over to one of my best friend’s houses for dinner with her and other good friends. Then I will go to work. Then I will sleep and go to work again tomorrow.

 

As I was on my walk I thought about the nice things that people have done for me. Two Sundays ago in church I was in desperate need of coffee. I hadn’t made any that morning because I was going to Sunday school for the first time in a while and knew they always have coffee. Well that Sunday they ran out. So then I went down to the Welcome Desk where I serve once a month. As I was talking to my co-server he told me there was a coffee cart behind the sanctuary and to go find it and grab some coffee. I went back there and the cart had already been taken away.

When I got back to the desk he told me there was a reception after church and there should be coffee there. I went to church and waited eagerly for coffee. On the Sundays that I serve at the Welcome Desk I leave the service a few minutes early and go back to the desk to answer any questions or give out information to people as they’re leaving church. When I got to the desk there was a 20oz coffee from 7-Eleven with my name on it. Apparently my co-server inquired about whether or not there would be coffee at the reception and when he found out there wouldn’t be, he went to the store and got me some. 😀 🙂 It was an awesome act of kindness. Girl’s gotta have dat caffeine nawmean?

<3

 

Then earlier today I was getting coffee with my cousin and we were talking about work because we’re both care-giving for one of the same ladies and she was going to cover me tonight since I just got back from my trip but after describing her crazy schedule I told her I would do it. And then she ended up saying she would give me the tube of organic mascara that I had ordered through her company for FREE because she wanted to do something nice for me. I was like yoo you don’t have to do that. And she said “I know, just like you didn’t have to offer to work tonight”. So that was awesome <3

You know, life is good. And our God takes care of His children. I’ve been in a bit of a funk with all the traveling I’ve been doing and having a bit of a rough time, but when I stop to count my blessings and reflect on all of the goodness in this broken world, I change my focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. I change my focus from one of focusing inward to one of focusing outward.

Also, when I got home from walking there was a bouquet of flowers waiting for me. Which I was expecting-ish? I knew I was getting something fresh because I knew I had to be at home for the delivery of this previously unknown item but I thought well, it’s either flowers or cake or something. And I knew it would come today or tomorrow. It was today.

 

It was roses. And irises. And a tiny little purple flower that I don’t know the name of. And I’m going to go take a shower now because I need to think.

Count your blessings. <3

xxx

V

words ‘n puns

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Things on my mind this morning:

Butterkase: also known as “butter cheese” or “ladies cheese” is a German cheese known for its’ mild flavor. My cousin and I enjoyed some of this in our fondue the other night. Also, I’m eating butter practically by the stick this morning. Just craving the fat I guess. Lol. Also, my cream curdled in my coffee when I poured it in 🙁

Curdling is definitely not like cuddling. Cuddling cream embraces the coffee and intertwines with its’ chemical structure. The two become one almost instantaneously after a beautiful cloud of creamy glory cascades down into the blissful ebony abyss of my coffee mug.

Curdling cream, however, doesn’t change the color of cofffee. It settles on the top of the mug and pretends to have changed things positively. But instead it separates into tiny little flakes of curdledness. Curdled cream is shy like a turtle going inside it’s shell. It doesn’t take the full plunge to blend with the coffee. It’s very superficial. Curdle turtle

Another thought about coffee: one of the most favoritist (don’t care that this isn’t a word) things one of my best friends ever said after spilling some dry coffee grounds on my rug was: “vacuum this up. Don’t add water cuz, you know, coffee” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Every time I think of that it makes me laugh.

Welp, it’s Saturday a.m. and I gots to start work in approximately 13 minutes. As Spongebob would say, IIIIIIIIIII’M READY, I’M READY! lol

I guess I’m ready. I’m not as excited as Spongebob, that’s for sure, but it’s going to be a good day today. At work today, I’m getting a special visitor who’s coming to say goodbye. Yes guys, it’s my most recent ex. But we’re cool, honestly. We’re chill. It’ll be nice to see him before he moves away (later today). Not too far though y’all. Just 3 hours North.

Then I’m working til 6. Then a BBQ. Then…….. a…………

 

DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WOOT WOOT!

For real. At my friend’s house. On their patio. It’s called a “sunset patio party’. So romantic. Salsa dancing btw

Aight shoot guys, time for work. Coffee with curdled cream doesn’t actually taste that bad btw. Please don’t judge me. LOVE MEEEEEE

Good day! 🙂
<3

xxx

V

 

hello writing world

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

Again, I say hello.

I’m not sure what all I’m going to write about in this post.

Perhaps loneliness. It seems that as I dwell on the fact that I’m now single I get sad. But when then I remember the why part of my single state and then am quite humbled and the sadness quickly dissipates.

See, this guy and I were never meant to be more than buds. Buddies. Pals.

00buddyguy

Ha ha yoooo

I used to watch South Park back in high school when I was a stoner and smoked lots of pot. Those days are far behind me, praise God. BUT this episode always cracked me up.

Anyway.

I was just about to type something along the lines of: “when you meet your future husband/wife, it’ll be like magnetism. You just won’t be able to get enough of that person”. But no, that’s definitely not always true. A friend of a friend didn’t like the man she ended up marrying a year and a half (or something like that) years later.

Love is unpredictable.

I was hopeful with this one. I am hopeful with all of them. It’s a blessing and a curse. People advised me against this one, but I didn’t listen. I hoped and believed it would work. Things would get better.

And some things did get better… but other things remained the same, and still others rose to the surface.

But that’s life. And I know I am about half to blame. I chose things that weren’t good for me. I acted in ways that were selfish. I didn’t keep proper boundaries around resting enough. As a result I was extra emotional because of how tired I was.

However.

I didn’t feel like I could trust this dude fully. I know I wasn’t the only girl that he was talking to and that was a problem for me. Now guys, before you jump down my back and say “WOW DUH FOOL YA SHOULD DUMPED HIS BUTT FROM THE START *@&#$*&#” hear this: I had grace for him. He and I had different beliefs about guys and girls being able to be friends or not (I think not) and had never dated before. So it was a……………………. learning experience. For both of us. I learned that in my future relationship, I don’t want to date someone with no dating experience. But actually, that isn’t even a problem. The problem was really that he wasn’t ready to pursue a marriage. He wasn’t ready to commit to one woman for the rest of his life. He didn’t realize what that truly meant, and it was obvious.

One of my favorite quotes when it comes to godly dating is this:

“one day, when you’re chasing God with all your heart, you’re going to look over one day and see your future man running just as hard after God as you are”.

I can’t remember who said it for the life of me. And that also isn’t the exact quote. But the concept remains the same.

Chase God.

Seek God.

If you’re a christian, your future husband or wife has to seek and value God above you and your relationship.

God has to be number one.

The fellow whom I just got out of a relationship with was a believer, but wasn’t walking closely with the Lord. In other words, he wasn’t seeking the Lord with his whole heart or prioritizing his relationship with the Lord. And when a person is not right with God, other things in life don’t line up either.

Not saying even if he were right with the Lord we were right for each other. I can’t say that about before and I can’t say that now because only God knows. Part of me wants to sit around and mull it over in my mind a million different ways to comfort myself. Fact of the matter is, the cards played out the way that they did, and the Holy Spirit said “no”. The Holy Spirit said “it’s not right”. The Holy Spirit said “it’s time for y’all to end this thang.

And so I did. Reluctantly, but I still did.

And feel more at peace than I have in a long time.

I’m also thanking God because this fellow is seeking the Lord hard now. I praise God for this, and pray that he continues to seek the Lord hard for the rest of his days.

There is still a part of me that hopes it might work out. But God will be the judge of that. He is the one who brings people together, and it will be Him who brings my future husband and I together; whomever it may be.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. <3

So now I go. And sip chardonnay. And read books that are good for my soul. And maybe eat the neglected piece of bread that I forgot to eat with my dinner of fried eggs and sauteed mushrooms and onions.

8:00pm. Too early for bed. This night owl has to hoot and holler for at least 3 more hours before I’ll be tired enough for bed. I’ve definitely gotten into the routine. Tomorrow’s gonna be a late one too.

So I bid thee farewell. And urge you, dear reader, to talk about your feelings with your partner as you’re feeling them. Communicate what’s wrong, communicate what’s right. Talk about what you could do better, talk about the direction you both are going in together.

Whether you’re dating or married, the goal is oneness. Unity. Two becoming one.

I may have just gulped that last bit of chard. Ahh, there’s always more. Or maybe a break would be beneficial to my emotional state of mind. P’haps a nice walk.

I just ate the bread. Plain. With no butter or honey or jam.

This post is just going to get more and more boring if I continue on. I MUST end it immediately!

Thanks for reading.

Arrivederci

🙂

V