Tag: blogging

“You were just what I needed”

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

He said as he continued laughing.

Then he said “God bless you.” before stepping on the gas and turning right on red.

My cheeks hurt from laughing as I closed the styrofoam cajita leftover from my friend’s dinner. Rice, beans and steak.

I didn’t have a fork so I was eating it out of the container like a pig at the trough. hahaahah

And cute Mr. Mystery pulled up beside at just the right moment to see me in all of my piggish glory as I lapped at the rice and beans. A piece of steak hung from my mouth as I glanced over to my right side; only to see him bust out laughing at the sight.

He started to open his window and I reached for mine.

“Thank you. You were just what I needed tonight. God bless you!”

🙂

Glad I could make your night, oh random strange man with the twinkle in your eyes. I’m glad my gluttonous habits could be used for your good.

Well, perhaps not gluttonous. Quirky, yes.

Be yourself.

Learn to laugh at yourself.

Live. Life is short. Live.

Good night my friends.

xxx

<3

V

ZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZ

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

guys.

I’m tired.
Man.

Physically (I think I’m hongry).

Plus I’ve had a headache since ~1.

Maybe it’s because I ate a donut for breakfast.

Gahhhh sugar.

Lol

But it was a hot donut. Freshly made this morning. Right before I picked it up. My new boss had me pick up a dozen of fresh, warm, homemade donuts from a lil donut shop up the road. Eeeeeyup!

‘Twas delicious!

But yeah then there’s this headache. Which might be from the donut. But I dunno.

Anyway. Here I am. At home. With …. 30 minutes to spare before going to bible study. I’m leading tonight’s discussion. Lord help me.

I think I’m going to take a 20 minute nap. I think that will help me tremendously. I should have gone to bed earlier last night. I think THAT would have helped me even more. lol

Tomorrow is Tuesday. My favorite night of the week. Because……….

~

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I’m going salsa dancing!!!!

😀

Lol remember those email chains that had you scroll for a million years and it promised to reveal whether or not your crush would fall in love with you or something?? HAHAHAH I forgot about those til rn.

😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

So anyway.

My new job is going interestingly. I still have it, so that’s good. I survived day four today. Okay, I’m being a leeeeeeetle melodramatic. But the work environment is a little difficult for me.

Structure. I need structure. I crave structure.
I’m a list maker.
A note-taker.
Task-oriented.
Tell me what you expect from me, and I’ll follow through. I’ll do a great job.

But not this job. I didn’t have an orientation. I didn’t shadow anyone. There is no manual to teach me what to do or say or how to respond appropriately or if I should respond at all.

It’s on-the-job training.

Learning each day that I show up. It’s been difficult. Especially because one of the people I work for is very impatient. I have experienced how very short the fuse is a couple times already. Which, by the way, I hate.

Confrontation. Being uncomfortable. Walking on eggshells. Though I guess nobody is making me do that last one. So this is a place for me to learn how to not do that anymore. Not walk on eggshells. Not tiptoe around. Not be afraid of cracking a few shells every once in a while. They’re eggs after all. And walking on them are eventually going to crack a few. That’s JUST what’s going to happen. And it’s not the end of the world.

Life is tough. It’s emotional.

So why is everybody so afraid of emotion? Why is everybody so afraid of confrontation? Why is everybody so afraid of dealing with feelings?

Why is everybody constantly trying to pretend like everything is okay all the time?

Or maybe it’s just me. I can only speak for me after all.

And I know I do this. I want things to be good. All. The. Time.

Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want to be comfortable and good? To avoid conflict?

I look forward to the day when there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more death. When I’m reigning over the new earth with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

But in the meantime, I’m stuck living in this broken world.

Though you know… it ain’t all bad.

There’s a lot to be thankful for. I’ma list a few things that come to mind right meow:

coffee

hot donuts

working car

money

sunset

sleep

healthy body

laptop

clothes

water bottle

water

chocolate covered espresso beans

guitar

music

hymns

singing

worshipping

church

my Lord

my family

friends

hope

dancing

light

darkness

stars

rest

peace

stillness

quiet

Jesus

books

pens

keyboard

BSF

sisters

sisterhood

prayer

lunch dates

coffee dates

excitement

joy

oxygen.

lol

but I mean, I’m thankful for it. I’m glad it doesn’t hurt every time I take a breath.

Alllllllllllright guys. I’m gonna sit quiet for a new now. I have 10 minutes before I have to go.

LOVE Y’ALL <3

Keep grinding fam. 🙂

XXX

V

guys

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

hello

hi

hai

I’m feeling quite removed from the world of WordPress. Definitely have not been writing lately. Looking back over the last month I’ve been pretty busy.

A trip to Boston

A trip to Nag’s Head

My BFF visiting for 5 days.

Went indoor sky diving!

Started a new job.

Yep. That’s where I’ve been. Away and busy!

And it’s nice to be home. It’s nice to have a space to write and relax in.

Whilst wearing a reindeer onesie.

And drinking a VA Beer Co. IPA.

And contemplating the single life.

lol

SO I’m super pumped because I’ve been working on music recording! I have Ableton Live Lite 10 which came with my interface and I’ve been learning how to use it. Cool story; I didn’t know how to use it at all and basically didn’t touch it for over a year.  I’ve been praying that God would help me figure it out.

Recently I was reading and hanging at home. And I had a sudden urge to sing and record.

So I set everything up and literally started to use the program.

WAIT don’t leave. Keep reading.

That was it.

I started using it.

Just like that.

I know it was God who enabled me. And this is when you’re like “ight imma head out”.

But God is a god of the impossible. He is more than able to equip us to do the work He has set up for us.

He’s given me a desire in my heart to write and record songs. I’ve had the equipment and the will to do it. And now He’s enabled me to start up.

I’m excited. It’s fun experimenting. Making sounds. Singing and harmonizing and laying down tracks.

I have a friend who made a rap album. It took him 7 years to perfect everything. When I first heard that I questioned him. I questioned his motivation, his methods, his abilities.

Not anymore. Sound engineering is HARD. Especially when starting from scratch.

So.

I’m excited about this new adventure. 🙂

Besides that. Thanksgiving tomorrow.

I’m going to a FRIENDSGIVING. It’s gonna be cute 🙂

My friend is cooking a four-course meal which sounds amazing. Complete with wine pairings from the wine he brought back from France over the weekend.

Yep.

<3

Life is good. Can’t complain. Went dancing last night and had a BLAST. I also prayed for that too. God is good and Faithful. His name is faithful.

Sooooooo

After that short update I must get to work. Lol

Though my client’s surely happy that I’m late 😛

Guys. Take a breather.

Take a breath right now. A deep inhale. And exhale.

Now think about one thing that you enjoyed about today.

Maybe it was your morning cup of coffee.

Maybe it was the sunshine illuminating the autumn leaves.

Maybe it was your running, reliable vehicle.

Maybe it was the thought of the someone who makes your smile.

Maybe it was the hope you were promised that the best is yet to come.

Think about that thing. Thank God for it. He’s the giver of all good gifts.

🙂

Remember that among the crazy thanksgiving shenanz. Especially if things get weird with family. Or friends.

LOVE YALL

xxx

<3

V

 

Good morning :)

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

Hey everyone.

Just wanted to pop on here and say a few words of gratitude to posture my heart for the day!

I am so thankful for a good night of sleep last night! I love going to bed early enough that I don’t need an alarm to rudely shake me out of my much-needed deep sleep ynawmean.

I’m thankful for my lil orange mug from my college dining hall days– I may have stolen this 😬 but I was a different person then. Hahah I just remember when the dining hall staff had to make an announcement that people ought to stop stealing mugs OR ELSE since so many were disappearing. #FACEPALM. I’m totally not glorifying stealing now though. But I do love this mug!

Not to mention my “CARPE CAFFEINE” mug. Gosh. Is it silly to love someone small like that? I guess it’s a tiny representation of my love for my morning ritual. Make coffee into mug. Enjoy warm mug of coffee while doing bible study/devotionals etc. It’s the best way to wake up.

Water. I am SO thankful for water. Lately I’ve been realizing how much more water I need to be drinking. Part of my increased thirst (which I do believe I have!) might be due to changing seasons/having turned on the heating unit in the house?! Also, since I’m regularly exercising now my H2o intake has increased.

So as I was typing about water I realized that everything I’m grateful for this morning comes out of cups. This may be because I am staring at these three cups currently…. ish. (My water is in a water bottle, w/e)… or maybe… my cups overfloweth. Hahhaha

Or I suppose I would be overflowing WITH cups. haha 😉

Anyways, I’m going to go read my bible now! Got about 45 minutes before I leave for work. Today will be a long day… two clients back to back followed by a meeting and a dinner! The latter part of the day will be fun though 🙂

I hope all of you lovely people have a lovely day <3

TGIF

xxx

<3

V

“Hard-to-love” people

Published on by Velvet1 Comment

Some people are hard to love.

Some people do whatever they can so that you won’t try to love them anymore.

Some people… hate you and mock you and persecute you and treat you illy.

People you’ve known for years.

Some people expect you to fail and are rooting for that; to build themselves up.

Some people are so dissatisfied with themselves and their lives that they don’t know how to celebrate with others.

Some people are jealous.

Some people proclaim to live one way and live a completely different way.

Some people’s social media accounts reflect one personality, while in person another person is seen.

I love beautiful autumn!

So what shall we do about these people in our lives?

The people we see week after week; sometimes multiple times in a week.

The people we can’t help but be involved in one some level.

Jesus says to love them. Bear with me here.

Let’s talk about what real love looks like.

 

Real loves says…

 

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

 

Nothing you can do will separate you from my love.

 

While you were still a sinner, I loved you.

 

I will lay down my life for you.

 

I forgive you for wanting me dead and gone.

 

I count you as worthy because you are a human being created in God’s image.

 

Worthy of time, attention, being heard.

 

Worthy of my help.

 

Real love bears burdens and pushes forward.

 

Real love doesn’t keep records of the wrong things people have done against me.

 

Real love chooses to forgive.

 

To know God is to know love, because God is love.

God helps believers to love others through the power of His Holy Spirit.

I think all of us have at least one person in our lives that is hard to love. A family member, friend, perhaps your spouse or child. We must learn to love them. We must give them the time and attention that we would want to be given. We must forgive their shortcomings and pray for God’s grace in their life to continue to change them into Christlikeness. And while we’re at it, pray for ourselves that God would complete the good work that He has begun in US. Ask God to show you in what ways YOU need to change.

Dear Lord, thankyou that you are over all things, in all things and through all things. Thank you that you have gone before me and laid down all of my steps. Thank you that you know the thoughts in my head before I think them and that you love me the same. Lord I thank you that You love others through me. Please give me the patience and the grace of Jesus as I walk through places with people that are so hard to love. Lord I thank you that you didn’t give up on us. That you continue to love your people despite our shortcomings and straight up rebellion towards you. Change the attitude of our hearts to love you wholeheartedly and to bring all things under your reign. Father I thank you that your way is the only way to life and life to the full. Thank you for sharing this truth with me. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now please help me love people. 😛 Amen.

xxx

<3

V

grateful

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

To posture my heart correctly, I will now list off all of the things that I’m grateful for that come to mind in the next 30 seconds; and go!

laptop

blanket

bed

house, with perfect location

working car

good friends!

amazing food

church family

chocolate

autumn

leaves

airplanes

travel

freedom

excitement

routines

order

habits

coffee

bible

bible study

pumpkins

chai tea

green tea

grocery stores!

banks

employment

health

internet

wifi

leisure reading

time to rest

peace

joy

prayer

hope

encouragement

Jesus

music

guitars

singing!

identity

purpose

having a firm place to stand

knowing who I am

knowing God

God!

Holy Spirit

brothers and sisters

mothers and fathers, blood, by marriage and spiritual

banana bread!

upcycling old bananas into bread

marcona almonds.

almond milk

jokes

laughter

comic relief

transformation

fluffy penguins

love interests

dancing

salsa dancing

bachata dancing!

cousins

costume parties!

flexibility

GRACE

clocks

time keeping

scheduling

planning

provision

being taken care of, always

trust

faith

relaxing

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

okay. that was definitely a lil longer than 30 seconds. Not by much though. I didn’t have to think hard about the things on this list. LEATHER ARMCHAIR THAT I’M SITTING IN. Yes. I love this chair <3

Ice cream.

Freezers.

Meal prep.

Exercise

swimming

walking

biking

going out to eat.

worship

After this I’m gonna read a lil, then sing a little. I am very thankful to not have to do anything tonight. I was gone most of the day, and it’s nice to be home.

I’ve been sick-ish all week going back and forth between feeling better then worse etc. Not knowing how much to go out or stay in… I’m not super great at taking care of myself. But I’m learning.

Slowly, but surely.

I’m excited for this week… lots of good things coming up!

Bible study.

Bible study fellowship.

Fundraising dinner.

Birthday dinner.

Possibly a halloween thing.

Visiting friends <3

My birthday!

The next 3 weeks are jam-packed full of stuff. I definitely gotta be intentional about resting when I can. <3

Being boring.

Doing nothing.

But resting is definitely doing something. Definitely is.

OH BTW I met another scientist today who believes in God but doesn’t believe Jesus is the only way. I had an opportunity to pray with him right then and there but I didn’t bite. Next time. Definitely next time. I’m ready. And willing! Be bold for Jesus.

Lord, thank you for all the good things in my life. I know that all good things come from you and I THANK you. You are the giver and provider and sustainer of my life. I rely and depend on you… thank you for your Holy Spirit which directs me and gives me peace. I am forever grateful. Thank you directing me back to your truth when I stray away and get confused. You’re always working, always. <3

xxx

<3

V

“I refuse to check my fbook one more time”

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She says adamantly. While contemplating the hypothetical relationship she invented in her head.

She takes another bite of her perfectly-ripe pear and chews slowly with slightly widened eyes.

I wonder if he added me yet. Or if he saw my message. Oh dear, I hope he accepted me! Why wouldn’t he accept me? Is it because I gave him the cold shoulder last night? Why am I so weird to people when I have a crush on them?

She got up and walked over to the mirror, looking at her own reflection. She saw her freckles and long, brown hair and bright blue eyes and smiled at herself. One of those school-picture smiles with no real emotion in it that one would give the photographer when he says “cheese!”. Essentially bearing ones’ teeth. Awkward.

Or maybe he hasn’t seen it yet. Maybe he’s one of those people that checks their social media once a day. Or once a week. Hmm. Even if he doesn’t accept my request, which he will, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But then there’s the message I sent… 

All of the sudden she realized what she was doing. Living in the hypotheticals was something she promised herself she would stop doing. Living in fear or possible rejection was something she had declared she was “done” with. She had decided to live her life.

And right at that moment…

When she let go of the need to hear from this person…

He messaged her.

AYyyyyyyyyy

Okay. This story was about me, I admit it.

😀 😀 😀

TO BE CONTINUED!

xxx

<3

V

dance crush

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dang it guys.

I just went salsa dancing and it was fun. but…….

I didn’t get to dance with my crush!

We even walked in at the same time and he said “hello” and “nice to see you” and gave me a hug… and then he said “save me a dance?” and I said “absolutely.”

Well. That dance didn’t happen. Hmmmmm

Though it was for a good reason. I was talking to someone about Jesus. I got to speak a lot of truth about scripture to a guy who’s catholic. I asked him these questions:

  1. what’s up with purgatory?
  2. what’s up with confession?
  3. why do you pray to the saints?
  4. do you know that you’re a saint?
  5. do you know that you have the same power in the Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead?

So. the conversation was lasting. And my dance time slowly trickled away. Though I don’t doubt that that’s exactly where God wanted me to be.

I will dance again soon. But perhaps this man will start living by the Truth of scripture… and believe what Jesus actually did, said, and what it means for us now.

This man understanding the truth is much more important than me dancing with my dance crush. It just goes to show my self-focused attitude. Sigh!

On that note, I’ma go to bed. Gonna hit the hay. Hope yall have a good night.

OH! I’m going to treat this like an opportunity. Not an interruption. God is in control, and God is good.

xxx

Ps. this all came about because this guy asked for my number. hahaha sooo many opportunities to witness. 😛

<3

V

default

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

This post is going to be a collection of the thoughts running through my head this morning coupled with prayers to my Lord Jesus Christ. Do stick around, a nugget is waiting for you!

Hey Lord, good morning. Thank you for this morning. Thank you for my rest last night. Thank you for feeling sufficiently rested. Thank you for making me strong like an eagle. I run and don’t grow weary. You teach me how to care for myself; and I thank You.

I want to talk about salsa dancing. My mind has wandered back to my night of dancing the other night several times this morning. It captivates me. I was pursued by many that night. Old flames, new sparks. None of which know or love you. But I wait. I wait. Oh, how I wait.

I think of myself in high school and college when cute boys showed interest in me and I thought “I like them”. Did I like them because they liked me? I have to watch for that now too. Here’s the difference between younger me and older me; old me and new me:

I’m not settling. I have a standard. The man I’ll date and eventually marry will be a born-again believer. A man sold out for Christ. A man who isn’t afraid to speak boldly about the Name above all Names; Jesus Christ. The living God. The Messiah, my King.

Old me didn’t have that standard. In fact, I didn’t have much of a standard. Cute, funny, showed interest… I didn’t date jerks… usually. *facepalm*.

Anyway. Lord, please contain the wanderings of my mind. Please help me keep useful thoughts in my thought train and not spend so much time on thoughts that aren’t useful. It’s crazy because lately I realized how much time I actually dwell on the hypothetical. The over-analysis of every facet of life. Thinking about the “what-ifs” and the “should-have-beens” etc. etc.

It takes a whole lotta time and a whole lotta energy. I am now going to go read the Word of God so I can fill my mind with His view. His perspective. I’m going to read the Word so I can

put on the lenses of Truth

posture my heart towards Him

put myself in a position to receive grace

practice the presence of God

contemplate the person of God

meditate on what God says in His Word and how it affects my life

I’m going to drink my coffee.

I’m also going to drink in life through the Word

Lord, please help me focus while reading your Word this morning. Thank you for giving me new life and new thoughts and new ways of doing things. Thank you for breaking down old walls and patterns and for giving me Your power to change. Thank you for loving me and making me feel loved. Thank you for your glorious promises and for being a Promise-keeper. I could talk about your magnificence all day long. I think I do a lot and people don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t think I need to come down to earth in this regard… I want to bring Your fire! Wherever I go. Because You are Immanuel; God with us. 

xxx

<3

V

mmk

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

So I wanted to write again today. Here we are.

Sunday night. 6:49.  I have work at 9. I think I’ll take a walk soon. I have some adrenaline because of hiking and dancing last night. I think walking will help clear my head. It’s nice living in this neighborhood with lots of streetlights … and it’s only one way in and one way out so it feels safe. Not to mention its’ general ritziness. Or is it ritzyness… haha oh well

 

Yeah walking didn’t happen. It’s now 11:17pm and I got home from work a couple minutes ago. I’m not sad about walking though because I ended up playing guitar and singing and working on writing a song instead. <3 So that was lovely <3

Ears are still ringing from this morning. So it’s been almost 24 hours of tinnitus. Hmmmm hopefully this isn’t anything to be concerned about. I do know one thing though. I refuse to Google my condition. hahah

Mmmmkay going to bed now. Can’t think of anything to write or focus. Ha

xxx

<3

V