God’s way

It’s hard doing things God’s way. It just is.

The christian life calls for death to self. It’s hard to live in a culture that promotes self-love and being self-focused, a “self-made man”, independence, and making your way to the top. It’s hard to go against our nature of self-centeredness.

Lord, when my mind’s default setting is me-focused, I am constantly fighting back my will and my desires of the flesh. Velvet says “I want to be in a relationship and wish it didn’t have to be a christian one”. Yet your word teaches me that I am not to be unequally yoked. In other words, the person I marry will be a christian. Sure, I could choose to marry a non-believer, but why would I; when your word says:

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.” Psalm 1:1-3

When I delight and meditate on your law, you bless me, and whatever I do prospers. Lord, you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to do any of it. But you do. And I’ve seen your blessings. I’m experiencing them right now. You have been SO good to me, and you continue to be. I don’t worry about money or my home. I don’t worry about finding enough work. I no longer worry about being content with what I have and who I am and what I look like. I know I am loved by you, and you have sent so many people to me that love me too. 

Praise be to God for revealing His word and His way to us.

Praise God for sending his Holy Spirit to us to give us vision to see and understand His Word and His way.

Praise God that when we fall, we are forgiven. That when we wander, He calls us back. He graciously calls us back. Lord, you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to call us back. But you care. You are so caring. You are so welcoming. You are so loving. You want me around. Despite how many times I leave you. How many times I choose other things over you. Despite how distracted I am. How I place other things before you and ahead of you. How I somehow justify not doing the work you’ve called me to do even when you reveal to me that there aren’t any excuses left. I want to say that I’m ready to work. I want to say I will do the work. But it has to be you. You have to do the work through me. I can’t do it God. I’ve got nothing. 

Please keep me from being distracted. 

Thank you for teaching me what brings peace. Thank you for revealing what things are temporary. Thank you for teaching me that you alone satisfy all of my needs. But I thank you Lord. For giving me good gifts. For blessing me with a good, fulfilling life. 

Don’t let me fool myself God. I don’t want to trade the Promised Land for temporary satisfaction. Please Lord, let me not trade it. Please stop me from trading it. 




I obeyed

and I feel a lot better. I obeyed because my Father told me to do something.

My Father knows what I need. He knows what I lack. He knows the areas that I have to grow in. He challenges me. He comforts me at the same time. He walks alongside me.

He was with me tonight when I had a hard conversation.

Confrontation is not my favorite thing. It’s actually really hard for me. It’s difficult to confront people about things that bother me. I’m not great at it because I don’t want to hurt the person I have to confront. I have been trained to walk on eggshells my whole life; never wanting to hurt anyone or experience the possibility of an adverse reaction. Anything to avoid conflict. But God is teaching me how to have hard conversations. He keeps impressing upon me — with His Holy Spirit– times and opportunities to talk about the hard things.

And it wasn’t so bad. Nobody bit my head off. Nobody yelled at me or threw anything at me. Nobody sneered at me, scoffed at me, or mocked me. What I said was received, and received well. Seemingly.

Though time will tell. Time will reveal the fruit of last night’s conversation. But I had to say the things I said. They were eating me from the inside out. And I feel better now. And I trust the Lord!

The fruit of the Spirit of goodness means telling someone the truth even when it hurts. It’s saying it out of a place of love, and in a loving manner. But often times it’s hard to do.

Watch my video on kindness/goodness! 🙂  https://youtu.be/Z2N2JKbtm_0 🙂

Lord! Thank you for this Monday morning. Thank you for a sufficient amount of sleep. Thank you for a comfortable bed and a place to wash my face and a way to hear Your Word. Father thank you for hearing my prayers telling me to pray. Thank you for being patient with me and teaching me to rely on You completamente por todos. I love you <3






Trusting Him

Do I trust Him

Do I trust His Holy Spirit

Do I trust His message that He lays on my heart?

Will I be obedient even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if it’s painful. Even if it means hurting someone that I care about? Even if it means telling the truth when the truth could hurt?

Even if it means tough love?

Yet He comforts me and says “I am with you and will never leave you or forsake you.”

And I feel that He is with me and I thank Him for sticking with me even during times of suffering the consequences of my own sin. He is with me even when I am experiencing the repercussions of my own bad choices. And He has my hand in His hand and He says walk this way my child, walk with Me. Come and drink of the living water, which is the only water that satisfies. And He leads me, and He carries me, and He comforts me, and His love for me is stronger with each step that we take.

Lord Jesus… I trust You. I thank you that you have given me a spirit not of fear, but of power, love and self-control. Thank you for being with me and for leading me along the paths of righteous for Your name’s sake. Thank you for using me as your vessel. Thank you for teaching me to move forward in faith. Amen.

xx <3


Praise the Lord

I am not sick! And I got a shipment of books today! And drank good coffee. Also went on a sunny walk and had a lovely prayer sesh. Was productive… Life is good.

Now I’m at church about to have a pre-meeting meeting. Hehe gotta love those back-to-back meetings ^_^ 🙂

Today is a Monday. But honestly, I like Mondays. Don’t mind em. I actually like all of my days usually. There is good in every single day that our good Lord creates and allows us to partake in and enjoy. Yes, there are downs to each day. Challenges. Obstacles. Problems to solve. But we have the privilege of access to a mighty God who is more than able to fight our battles if we only ask Him.

Yep, calling on the Lord is the way to get thangs done.

I am so thankful for prayer. I am praising the Lord for this language that He gave us to communicate with Him and be able to tell Him about our days, our struggles, lean on Him and ask for help. But also to adore Him, confess to Him and rely on Him for everything.

Look for ways to glorify our sweet Lord today!! <3 <3 <3

More later.



faith is

stepping out on a limb

stepping out onto the water

falling forward

leaping into the water



letting go




knowing and believing what you say is true

focusing on what is true and not feelings

trusting your word and not my emotions

believing in your ways, and not my ways

knowing you are God and i am not

giving up things

not holding tightly onto anything

acknowledging every is yours, and is a gift to us

moving forward

doing the next right thing

being quick to forgive

being quick to love

in things not seen

hoping and trusting in God

knowing you hold all things in your hand

knowing you are all powerful

knowing you are the only wise king

putting certain things on hold

fulling diving into other things

accepting that my way is not the best way

realizing who God is

Lord, I thank you for teaching me to wait on You. Thank you for teaching me to act. Thank you for teaching me how to better trust You. Thank you for teaching me to rely on you wholly. Lord help me seek Your will and Your ways and Your plans and not my own. I need you in every area, O God. Every hour, I need you. Father thank you for growing me closer to you in faith. Thank you for giving me opportunities to hear your word so I can know you better, and better understand your plans for my life. <3



The Meditations of My Heart

As you walk around the neighborhood

As you sit at your desk at work during your lunch break

When you’re driving in your car on the way to wherever

When you’re lying in your bed at night before you go to sleep

What are you meditating on?

Meditating means: contemplating, considering, thinking about, pondering.

The meditations of our hearts are what drives us.

What is your heart thinking about?

What is your heart longing  for?

What drives you.

What are your goals?

What direction are headed in?

In a surface-level conversation I would probably say: I want to be a writer. I want to write books. I want to record music. I want to make videos. I want to

I want to

I want to

I want to

But then my actions say otherwise.

They say: I want to dance. I want to exercise. I want to spend time with friends and those who I love. I want to eat. I want to sleep. I want to rest. I want to do nothing. I want to turn off my brain.


May these words of my mouth

and this meditation of my heart

be pleasing in your sight, LORD,

my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:4


Pleasing to God. Lots of my thoughts definitely aren’t pleasing to Him. I know this because they’re all about me. They’re all about glorifying myself. How can I get better, look better, be more well-liked. Be more successful.

Don’t get me wrong: success is good. Caring for yourself is good. But not all good goals and things are goals and things I should be pursuing at this time.

God has a post for each of us where he sets us at. He wants us to stay at that post and watch. He wants us to perform the necessary duties at the post. He doesn’t want us to be distracted by whatever the enemy wants to dangle in front of us.

So often we forget about our post and leave it behind, and instead pursue our desires, our temptations. We begin meditating on ourselves and what we want and what we desire and we forgot Who knows better what we need.

God knows that I need to focus on the gifts He’s given me and focus on pouring them out to other people. He also knows that I am easily distracted. He knows what I’m distracted by. He knows my weaknesses. He sees my heart and knows my deepest desires that drive my actions and thoughts and ideas. And He still loves me.

But He gives us a way out: He changes us. He asks us to cry out to Him and ask Him for guidance, direction and help. He is our shepherd, and he calls us by name. He doesn’t want us to get eaten by wolves. He doesn’t want us to fall off a cliff. He doesn’t want us to wander and get lost.

So my prayer for me and my prayer for you is this:

Ask the Lord to help your meditations be pleasing to Him. If you know what you’re contemplating doing or saying or not doing or not saying is not pleasing to Him, ask Him to deliver you from that way of thinking and renew a right spirit within you.

Trust that God is good all the time and only wants what is best for His children. Trust that His boundaries are good and that He wants to protect us from certain things until the right context, the right time. Trust that He’s preparing you for good works, and can and will accomplish within you more than you could ever ask, think or imagine.

Trust Him.

Ask Him to help you want to want Him. Want to need Him. Know that you need Him.

Ask Him to help you know that He satisfies. That He is more than enough.

He is more than enough.

Lord, change the meditations of my heart: get them off my myself. Help me be outwardly focused and not trapped in an inwardly-focused way of thinking.





Bubbling Over

With words. So I’m back here again, for the second time today.

It’s just one of those days where I am trying to deal. All I can think about is food and all I want to do is eat and cry. I love being a woman. Haha NOT

But this is all part of the life that God ordained me for! He knew I would be feeling this way! And He has offered some ways out.

  1. Prayer. So Lord, I pray to you right now.
  2. His Word. I should crack open the bible right now too.
  3. Other people. Perhaps I should serve somebody else right now instead of freakin’ wallowing in my self-pity.
  4. Creation. It’s too hot to go outside. But God created authors and filmmakers and designers for a reason. There’s gotta be something in His creation to focus my energy on.

It’s funny because I say I will write books and play music and make videos if I had time. And here I am, with time. And I’m not doing the things that I say I would be doing. I am chained to the house where I work and have nothing but time. And then Satan freakin’ tries to distract me all day from doing those things. And he has kinda succeeded today. I did do some writing earlier which is good, and did play a little music actually. Okay, never mind, I do do the things that I say I will. But not as much as I think I will. My attention span lasts between 30 and 45 minutes and then I tire of whatever I’m doing, so there’s that.

I’m going to work on my songs soon. I should type them up and make chord and lyric sheets. And print them out and put them in a binder. And practice them, memorize them, and record them.

Yes. I should. Okay. I’m going to try to do that now. Not letting Satan distract me anymore.

Not going to sit here and be angry and depressed anymore. I’m a woman that God created and I choose to use the gifts that He gave me for His kingdom. To serve and glorify Him and spread His message of love!


Today I choose to not believe lies. That’s right. No lies today, Satan. No lies.

xoxo <3