Tag: christian

it’s been too long!

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

I’ve tried to write several times lately and WordPress hasn’t been working for me. My post wouldn’t publish, wouldn’t save… I don’t know what’s been going on but as I type this morning, I haven’t had any weird messages pop up saying something “failed” so I’ll take that as a good sign.

Guys.

I am grateful. I am so grateful. I was going through something rough lately but a blazing light has led me to the end of the tunnel. And I’m ecstatic about what’s on the other side.

A new hope. A new beginning. A new chance to move forward and be all that God intended for me to be.

He’s taken me step by step from one place to the next, preparing me for the journey. He’s made the way for me and said “trust Me, Velvet. I have something awesome for you up ahead.”

He wasn’t lion. Though He is THE Lion. The Lion of Judah. All knowing, all seeing. All powerful.

Considerate

Giving

Compassionate

Just

Gracious

Merciful

Father

Provider

I’ma make a video about my situation and post soon. <3

All I can say is this: even if you’re going through a hard time, just keep doing the right thing, even when it’s hard. After someone treated me badly, God enabled me to have peace, joy, love, kindness and all the other fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Even if someone wrongs you, we mustn’t harbor resentfulness, but forgive them and have compassion on them. My friend said it well the other day: “when we look on other’s that have hurt us with compassion, we’re looking at them through the lens of the One who saved you by grace”.

And God says “we forgive because God first forgave us”. If God hadn’t first forgiven me, I wouldn’t have any reason to forgive anyone. Why forgive at all? Because it’s the “right” thing to do? God first set the precedence when He sent His one and only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for the forgiveness of sins.

Forgiveness isn’t just a “good” idea. It’s God’s idea. He invented it. And He empowers His children to be able to do it. And what a beautiful testimony of His love it is when true forgiveness occurs. Sometimes you have to forgive someone over and over again as the thoughts of how they wronged you resurface. Forgiveness is seldom a one-time thing. Give the thought back to God and ask Him to change your heart and your mind towards that person and help you forgive them. God will do this.

………..

Okay.

This is what happens when I start typing random thoughts before I’m fully awake. I’m midway through my coffee and should probably put this to the side and finish drinking it while I read my bible.

Then I’m going to work.

Hope you have an AWESOME FRIDAY. Last Friday in August. Enjoy! <3

xxx

V

Expectations

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

Wow.

It really is all about expectations. Like ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

As Christians, our expectations shouldn’t change. We should be (based on scripture) ever-growing in joy, peace, love, faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, goodness, patience, and self control. We should be counting our sufferings as joy, turning the other cheek, living without fear or worry. These are the things the bible says.

If only it were that easy. To trust and believe these things and live them out. It takes discipline. It takes being in a constant posture of prayer and humility. A posture of receiving from the Lord. The knowledge that we can’t do anything apart from Him (John 15:5) but with him, all things are possible (Matt. 19:26).

If we lived this way, I dare to say that we wouldn’t be disappointed. Or at least we wouldn’t live in a state of disappointed. We wouldn’t be surprised at the world and at broken people. We wouldn’t take it personally or remain shocked that a person could be so vengeful. We wouldn’t gossip to our friends and family about how so-and-so offended us.

We would communicate clearly and directly what we want, what we expect from people. We wouldn’t fear people or their outcomes. We would say what we mean and mean what we say. We wouldn’t wait until we’re ready to explode to communicate our thoughts and desires.

We wouldn’t beat around the bush, get stuck inside our heads, constantly overthink everything, justify ourselves constantly when we wrong someone. We wouldn’t be quick to point out other’s mistakes and slow to admit our own… if we really believed what the bible says.

The only way to know what the bible says is to read it. To listen to it. To meditate on it day and night and not let it depart from our lips (Joshua 1:8).

The more we study the scriptures the better people we will become. Because the journey of being a christian is to become like Jesus more and more everyday. That happens slowly over time and only with the power of God living inside us. “Don’t you know you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?” 1 Corinthians 3:16.

The bible helps us set expectations. The bible helps us meet other’s expectations.

The bible helps us communicate directly and not use empty words.

Words words words.

Wordy words.

But what about the Word?

The Word of God is not a book of nonsensical ramblings. It’s the way, the truth and the life. And it’s ours, for free.

Whatever you’re going through right now, whether it’s in your job or with your partner or with a friend or someone you serve with at church or at a volunteer organization, know this:

We are to speak the Truth in love. And we aren’t always going to get it right. We’re going to fall short a lot. We are going to wish we had set an expectation with someone that we did not, and now we’re suffering for it. We’re going to learn what we expect from people as they let us down and only then do we realize how much somethings bothers us. We’re going to try and fail to keep someone’s set expectations. We’re going to get disappointed sometimes, frustrated sometimes, and hindsight is quickly going to become 20/20.

And the good news is, we can move forward. We can move on. We can re-state our expectations, explain what needs to be done or not done or changed in order to meet them. We can confess and apologize and move forward when we let someone else down. We can learn to formulate our thoughts and feelings into words in order to communicate our desires to others.

Move forward.

Move on.

Communicate clearly.

Be patient with people. Think of how long-suffering God is with us as we learn so so slowly how to abide by his word.

Forgive people. Remember, we forgive because God first forgave us. What other reason do we have? We know it’s the right thing to do because he tells us so.

View others with lenses of compassion, not condemnation. Not without forgiveness. Not despicably. Everyone starts somewhere. And we can’t expect others to know what we know. We can’t.

Do you have a good story of expectations and disappointments?

xxx

<3

V

 

10:29

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

annnnd I’m about to turn out the light. I will get almost 8 hours of sleep if I turn it off right now and immediately fall asleep. And stop typing. hahaha

But I’ll take just a couple minutes to reflect over this God-given day. It was a good day. I felt a lot better (physically) when I woke up this morning… still couldn’t eat as much today and was craving very light foods. But energy level was high, and spirits were higher.

I love when God’s awesome glory captivates me. It seems to come in flickers and I’ll just stop for a moment and feel like crying. It happened to me today as I was pulling out of the plaza where I’d gone grocery shopping. I was just overwhelmed with God’s goodness and provision. His grandeur and omnipresence, even in the minute details of my day.

He’s so big.

And His love is so deep.

Tonight my bible study group had a worship night on the sand. The weather was brilliant. I feel British when I use that adjective. But it really was, brilliant! The sky was beautiful as it changed from orange to purple to pink as the sun was setting over the water. The water looked like someone had spilled pink paint onto the surface that created rippling streaks as the tide slowly ebbed and flowed.

The reflections of the sky on the water, and the awareness that God knows the number of each grain of sand, as well as each hair on my head was awe-inspiring. And He still takes the time to lead me every step of the way through my day.

“You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” Psalm 139:5

Lord

I feel so safe with you

I know you’ve gone before me 

I know you’re behind me also

You’ve hemmed me in 

There is no move that I can make that you don’t yet know

You know my motives and my desires

You know my aspirations

You know my weaknesses and my failures

Yet you still care for me

You still work everything for my good

You still teach me and comfort me 

I thank thee Lord for your love that wilt not let me go

It won’t let me go

You pursue me to the depths and water my frame

You mold me into the perfect design that you thought of before time 

I thank thee for your control

I’m lost without you! Yet I’ll never be lost, for you are always with me

You are Faithful; Faithful is your name

<3

xxx

V

friday

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

hey fam

hope your week has been going well! I’ve been itching to blog for a few days but haven’t had the opportunity. So here we are.

This morning I was reading in 1 Corinthians about Jesus being the “firstfruits of all others who believe in Him” (15:20). Apparently this is an old testament image of the first installment of a crop which anticipates and guarantees the entire crop. AKA, Jesus came, died, and rose again. We died with Christ and were raised to life in Him. He is perfect, pure, blameless, sinless. And 1 John 3:2 says “when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is”.

We shall be like him. Like Christ. He guaranteed that for us when he died on the cross for our sins and was raised to life. He gave us the gift of eternal life and the process of sanctification and conformation began. We are being conformed to his image more and more each day. And one day, we shall be totally like him. Perfected.

“The good work he has begun in me will be perfected” Phil. 1:6.

It’s a promise. And God is a promise-keeper.

I love when people keep their promises. When people follow through on their words. It’s hard to follow through sometimes; impossible sometimes. People promise things all the time that never come to pass, because we aren’t in control. Even if we have the best of intentions, God’s hand still has to move to either allow something to happen or to make it happen.

God keeps his promises. His word doesn’t change. He doesn’t go back on his word and doesn’t forget his promises. When he said in his word that Christ IS the firstfruits of ALL who believe in him, he promised us that one day we would be like Christ.

We have the capacity to bear Christ’s image now with the Holy Spirit. We have daily opportunities to bear witness to the truth of scripture, love people that are hard to love, forgive people, see past human tendencies and the flesh, and set our eyes on heavenly things and store up our treasures there instead of becoming enthralled with the world.

Lord Jesus, thank you for breaking my schemes of earthly joy and teaching me to find my all in You. I thank you for not simply modifying my behavior, but for rooting out from within me the tendencies I have to try to satisfy myself apart from your love, grace and will. Lord I thank you for revealing yourself to me and teaching me how you shepherd me and provide all that I need. I thank you that I don’t have to be in want because you are my shepherd. Thank you for knowing my name. Thank you for tuning my ears to the sound of your voice. Thank you for showing me the one way which brings true life. Lord, help me to give myself fully to your work, because I know that my labor in your is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58). Amen.

Today is going to be a good day. I know this because (1) the Lord made it and (2) gave it to me. I wonder what all He’ll have me do today. 🙂

Fam- rest in the promise that Jesus died so we could be like Him. Look to Christ’s life for the example of how we ought to live. It’s crystal clear and never lets us down. Pray and ask God for the power to rest in Christ’s leading.

xxx

<3

V

Dancing

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

I’m so looking forward to dancing more.

Dance dance dance dance dance

My right knee has been hurting a leeeeeeeeeetle beet but I’m still gonna go dancing. My left ankle was also sUPEr tight this morning when I woke up so I elevated it for a while, massaged it, and then slathered it in olive oil and peppermint oil right before putting on my croc-like sandles. This last part was not such a great idea because my foot was sliding all around inside the sandal and almost coming off my foot. I should have put a dorky sock on to avoid sliding or maybe chosen a different pair of shoes. But it was 90 degrees today and “felt like 99” so I knew I wanted to wear sandals buuuut most of them are rubber. And my sandals that aren’t rubber aren’t shoes that I want to slather in oil hahah. The struggle

Anyway, ankle feels a lot better tonight. Right knee is a little funk but I think I will put some peppermint oil on it tonight after I finish typing this post and before turning out my bedroom light.

I have work tomorrow and want to be well. After work I am dancing and definitely want to be well for that too…

My heart leaps for dancing and fills me up.

I’ve also decided to stop drinking alcohol for the summer. Or even longer, I don’t know. Not that I drank very much before; 2 beers, 2 gin and tonics, 2 glasses of wine. Whatever. A margarita. I’ve thought about stopping drinking totally on and off and did stop drinking two summers ago for the summer and it blessed me incredibly. I felt the nudge again so I’ma commit. It won’t be hard to not drink, but I will miss the alcohol a tad bit when I’m hanging out with certain people or at certain places. But I’m excited y’all!

Tomorrow is the summer solstice. Very exciting! The weather looks pretty good too. Not too high humidity and not too hot. For Virginia anyway. Mid 80s. I’ve changed y’all. I’ve turned a new leaf with this heat thing. I still loathe humidity and avoid it at all costs but I can handle the heat a lot better than I used to. I still have to be careful and only stay out for ~an hourish to avoid passing out hahah but hey.

Other things coming up: a prayer and worship night. A ladies night. A concert….

A spontaneous trip to New England possibly?

Lots of reading <3

Videos to be posted <3

Time to be spent with awesome peeps <3

Dancing <3

2019 summer, here we come! 🙂

Lord, I’m grateful for the fullness that you’ve given me in your son, Jesus. He came to bring life, and life to the full, and I experience this as I walk by your Spirit and in your ways. Thank you for teaching me to value the invaluable: Truth and righteousness. Thank you for taking care of me and taking the time to communicate with me. Jehovah Nissi…. the Lord my banner; I love thee <3

xxx

V

Haste makes waste

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

This is one of my life’s mantras. I think it often, say it more often and follow it very little.

Well, I take that back. I’ve gotten a lot better at not being hasty. But there are still many things that I am hasty in. One of them is talking too much to other people before there’s really anything to say. If you know what I mean. Let’s frame this in the way of a dating relationship.

A guy likes me. Or better yet, I like a guy. And BLAM I start telling people. Why? Because I’m guy-obsessed. And people love talking about love and dating relationships. It’s something everybody wants. A relationship, someone to take care of and be cared for by.

Ya

So I have this knack for speaking my mind about somebody that’s on my heart way too soon. And it gets me into trouble. Because then I have ___ people giving me advice about the potential crush. Some advice is good and godly and helpful. Other advise might seem encouraging but ends up being confusing and unhelpful.

And then there’s my own flip-flop of a heart. That might be the worst adjective I could have chosen to describe my heart because it’s really the action of a flip-flop that I’m referring to. Or I guess the interchanging action of two flip-flops. They’re called flip-flops because when you’re wearing this type of shoe, each step you take seems to make a noise that sounds, I guess, like “flip” and then “flop”. Wow, typing this out seems like one of the most futile ways I’ve ever spent my time.

Hahahaah I love being hyperbolic in my writings. I also love starting a blog post with absolutely no direction and seeing where my thought train takes me (and you, dear reader).

Anyways, back to flip-flops.

I’m from New Hampshire and kids in my high school used to wear flip-flops to school in the wintertime. hahah I did it too sometimes. I guess we thought we were cool or rebellious or a mixture of both. Bada$$ I think. For subjecting ourselves to sickness and slipping all over the ice. Sigh. Who even knows. What I do know is that I think about those times almost every time I put on a pair of flip-flops. It really made an impact on me.

Decisions do that. They really make an impact on your life and the life of those around you. We can’t just do things willy-nilly. Flip-nilly. Willy-flop. hahaha Belly-flop. 😀

The bible says these important words:

“Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” 1 Cor. 10:31″

Do all to the glory of God.

All.

Every breath I take

Every thought that crosses my mind

Every step I take

Every action I complete

Every motive

Every choice, whether it be in regards to walking across a room, the order in which I complete a list of tasks, whether or not I’m going to call a friend to talk or make plans, planning trips to the supermarket or out of town, to dance or not to dance, to pray or not pray, to read or write or sleep or go out or stay in or cover my co-workers shift or take on a new responsibility or choose to weep or choose to focus and rejoice or

Every thing

All things in my life. Every thought, word and deed must be done for the glory of my living, omnipotent Creator, God. 

So it’s 6:35pm. I have to go to work soon. How shall I spend my time? Besides finishing this post. Shall I even finish it or post it? I think I will.

I have to pack my clothes for tonight and tomorrow. Toiletries, church attire… books including my sermon notes notebook, bible, reading material. Phone charger. Packing won’t take me long.

I want to finish work by 11:30 and it generally takes two hours so if I arrive by 9:30 I should leave my house at 9:00pm.

That leaves me 2 hours and 23 minutes to pack and leave. So besides 5 minutes of packing, how shall I spend the next 2 hours and 15 minutes?

What would bring glory to my Father?

Reading a book on spiritual disciplines I suppose. Since I’m trying to write a book on disciplines but I can’t stay disciplined enough to finish it. HA I GUESS THAT’S WHY PEOPLE SAY “THOSE WHO CAN’T DO TEACH” LOL

Good news is, I’m feeling a lot better in my spirit right now than I was earlier. Earlier I was freaking out because I’ve been worried about whether or not I should give this dude a chance or not. While I’m reading, I’m going to be praying. Praying for clarity. Praying for patience. Praying for guidance and confirmation.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

<3

<3

<3

I’m listening…

<3

<3

<3

How will y’all spend your Saturday night?

xxx

V

I shouldn’t be writing

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

because of how tired I am. Just wanted to let you all know that I’m going to bed. It’s 10:03 and I’m going to bed. To sleep. I’m turning out the light. Promise.

I think I’ll wake up feeling much better after getting a sufficient amount of rest. Trying to think about what I can’t control and the things I have to step up and do is overwhelming and depressing right now. Trying to operate when you’re exhausted is not a good idea.

Tomorrow I work 9-6, then 9:30-11:30PM.

Then Sunday morning 8:30-10:30AM, then church, coffee with a friend, home to rest for a few, then work again 9:30-11:30PM.

Then work again Monday 8:30-11:30AM. Home to rest. Meeting, game night, work 10PM-12AM.

Work 7-9AM, 9:15-3:15PM. Dancing?

Thank you Lord, for teaching me how to rest properly. Even though my schedule is sporadic, I know it won’t be forever, and I’m grateful for my jobs. Teach me how to set proper boundaries around rest and not be a work-a-holic or stay too busy. <3

 

GOONITE!

xxx

V

Young Love

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is what he called the bunch of beautiful flowers that arrived on my doorstep yesterday afternoon

“Young love” were the only two words that came to his mouth when he saw the clear ovular glass vase overflowing with roses, irises, another tiny purple flower and greenery

Young love

The implications behind these two words are many. Perhaps these are a few

Young people

Short duration

Affection

Infatuation

Emotion

Excitement

Hope

Hope. Is that what I’m holding onto?

Maybe. Possibly. Is that so wrong?

I don’t think so. Real love is never wrong. Legitimate selfless, unconditional love.

But that’s the problem here. The love is young.

In fact, it’s SO young that it’s under condition.

No vows or proposals have been made.

In fact, the relationship is under construction. The site is closed off. There’s currently nothing really to see, and nothing to show. Walls are being knocked down. The floor has been ripped up. The doors are hanging off their hinges. The electricity is still hooked up but no appliances are on. Except one small light.

A small light is on and yesterday it grew brighter. Before yesterday it was a flickering bulb, but today the light is brighter. It’s not flickering anymore, and it’s revealing some of the work that’s being done on the site of the relationship.

Progress has been made. There’s still a lot of work to do, but progress has been made.

The site is your heart and the light is my hope.

Though I realize that storms are unpredictable in this life. A storm could blow through at any time and take literally everything. All the work that has been accomplished could be destroyed. It could all be taken in an hour.

So I offer this young love up to God. And I ask Him:

Lord, I trust in You completely. I trust in your sovereign plan. Thank you for looking out for me. Thank you for giving me good gifts. Thank you that all good gifts come from you, because you are good. You turn my darkness into light. You reveal what I need to work on. You make me better. So now I ask you Lord, to guide my steps. I ask you to reveal to me the words I should say, the steps I should take, the choices I should make. Show me where I ought to spend my time; where I should invest my heart and emotions. Thank you Lord for working all things together for good for those who love you. I love you and am ever grateful for your mercy. Thank you for always working… and never tiring… thank you for your long suffering over my faults. Thank you for your grace and desire to communion with me. Thank you for teaching me how to love with a love that doesn’t fail or give up when things are hard. Thank you for not writing me off <3

xxx

V

words ‘n puns

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Things on my mind this morning:

Butterkase: also known as “butter cheese” or “ladies cheese” is a German cheese known for its’ mild flavor. My cousin and I enjoyed some of this in our fondue the other night. Also, I’m eating butter practically by the stick this morning. Just craving the fat I guess. Lol. Also, my cream curdled in my coffee when I poured it in 🙁

Curdling is definitely not like cuddling. Cuddling cream embraces the coffee and intertwines with its’ chemical structure. The two become one almost instantaneously after a beautiful cloud of creamy glory cascades down into the blissful ebony abyss of my coffee mug.

Curdling cream, however, doesn’t change the color of cofffee. It settles on the top of the mug and pretends to have changed things positively. But instead it separates into tiny little flakes of curdledness. Curdled cream is shy like a turtle going inside it’s shell. It doesn’t take the full plunge to blend with the coffee. It’s very superficial. Curdle turtle

Another thought about coffee: one of the most favoritist (don’t care that this isn’t a word) things one of my best friends ever said after spilling some dry coffee grounds on my rug was: “vacuum this up. Don’t add water cuz, you know, coffee” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Every time I think of that it makes me laugh.

Welp, it’s Saturday a.m. and I gots to start work in approximately 13 minutes. As Spongebob would say, IIIIIIIIIII’M READY, I’M READY! lol

I guess I’m ready. I’m not as excited as Spongebob, that’s for sure, but it’s going to be a good day today. At work today, I’m getting a special visitor who’s coming to say goodbye. Yes guys, it’s my most recent ex. But we’re cool, honestly. We’re chill. It’ll be nice to see him before he moves away (later today). Not too far though y’all. Just 3 hours North.

Then I’m working til 6. Then a BBQ. Then…….. a…………

 

DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WOOT WOOT!

For real. At my friend’s house. On their patio. It’s called a “sunset patio party’. So romantic. Salsa dancing btw

Aight shoot guys, time for work. Coffee with curdled cream doesn’t actually taste that bad btw. Please don’t judge me. LOVE MEEEEEE

Good day! 🙂
<3

xxx

V

 

hello writing world

Published on by VelvetLeave a comment

Again, I say hello.

I’m not sure what all I’m going to write about in this post.

Perhaps loneliness. It seems that as I dwell on the fact that I’m now single I get sad. But when then I remember the why part of my single state and then am quite humbled and the sadness quickly dissipates.

See, this guy and I were never meant to be more than buds. Buddies. Pals.

00buddyguy

Ha ha yoooo

I used to watch South Park back in high school when I was a stoner and smoked lots of pot. Those days are far behind me, praise God. BUT this episode always cracked me up.

Anyway.

I was just about to type something along the lines of: “when you meet your future husband/wife, it’ll be like magnetism. You just won’t be able to get enough of that person”. But no, that’s definitely not always true. A friend of a friend didn’t like the man she ended up marrying a year and a half (or something like that) years later.

Love is unpredictable.

I was hopeful with this one. I am hopeful with all of them. It’s a blessing and a curse. People advised me against this one, but I didn’t listen. I hoped and believed it would work. Things would get better.

And some things did get better… but other things remained the same, and still others rose to the surface.

But that’s life. And I know I am about half to blame. I chose things that weren’t good for me. I acted in ways that were selfish. I didn’t keep proper boundaries around resting enough. As a result I was extra emotional because of how tired I was.

However.

I didn’t feel like I could trust this dude fully. I know I wasn’t the only girl that he was talking to and that was a problem for me. Now guys, before you jump down my back and say “WOW DUH FOOL YA SHOULD DUMPED HIS BUTT FROM THE START *@&#$*&#” hear this: I had grace for him. He and I had different beliefs about guys and girls being able to be friends or not (I think not) and had never dated before. So it was a……………………. learning experience. For both of us. I learned that in my future relationship, I don’t want to date someone with no dating experience. But actually, that isn’t even a problem. The problem was really that he wasn’t ready to pursue a marriage. He wasn’t ready to commit to one woman for the rest of his life. He didn’t realize what that truly meant, and it was obvious.

One of my favorite quotes when it comes to godly dating is this:

“one day, when you’re chasing God with all your heart, you’re going to look over one day and see your future man running just as hard after God as you are”.

I can’t remember who said it for the life of me. And that also isn’t the exact quote. But the concept remains the same.

Chase God.

Seek God.

If you’re a christian, your future husband or wife has to seek and value God above you and your relationship.

God has to be number one.

The fellow whom I just got out of a relationship with was a believer, but wasn’t walking closely with the Lord. In other words, he wasn’t seeking the Lord with his whole heart or prioritizing his relationship with the Lord. And when a person is not right with God, other things in life don’t line up either.

Not saying even if he were right with the Lord we were right for each other. I can’t say that about before and I can’t say that now because only God knows. Part of me wants to sit around and mull it over in my mind a million different ways to comfort myself. Fact of the matter is, the cards played out the way that they did, and the Holy Spirit said “no”. The Holy Spirit said “it’s not right”. The Holy Spirit said “it’s time for y’all to end this thang.

And so I did. Reluctantly, but I still did.

And feel more at peace than I have in a long time.

I’m also thanking God because this fellow is seeking the Lord hard now. I praise God for this, and pray that he continues to seek the Lord hard for the rest of his days.

There is still a part of me that hopes it might work out. But God will be the judge of that. He is the one who brings people together, and it will be Him who brings my future husband and I together; whomever it may be.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. <3

So now I go. And sip chardonnay. And read books that are good for my soul. And maybe eat the neglected piece of bread that I forgot to eat with my dinner of fried eggs and sauteed mushrooms and onions.

8:00pm. Too early for bed. This night owl has to hoot and holler for at least 3 more hours before I’ll be tired enough for bed. I’ve definitely gotten into the routine. Tomorrow’s gonna be a late one too.

So I bid thee farewell. And urge you, dear reader, to talk about your feelings with your partner as you’re feeling them. Communicate what’s wrong, communicate what’s right. Talk about what you could do better, talk about the direction you both are going in together.

Whether you’re dating or married, the goal is oneness. Unity. Two becoming one.

I may have just gulped that last bit of chard. Ahh, there’s always more. Or maybe a break would be beneficial to my emotional state of mind. P’haps a nice walk.

I just ate the bread. Plain. With no butter or honey or jam.

This post is just going to get more and more boring if I continue on. I MUST end it immediately!

Thanks for reading.

Arrivederci

🙂

V