Oh my goodness. What a relief it is to know you Lord.

You’re IT. You’re what gives me purpose. You’re the missing link. The missing piece.

You answer the “why” that I’m looking for.

Why am I here?

Why am I alive?

What’s the point?

How do I live in this jacked up world?

How do I survive?

How do I forgive people?

How do I take care of myself well?

How do I say “no” to doing and saying things that hurt me and others?



You kept me awake all night the other night. I kept waking up, lurching forward out of a dream. A nightmare. I was in the passenger seat of a car and we were driving too fast. There wasn’t enough time to brake.

I kept waking up out of this dream and lurching forward to almost sitting straight up.

I know what You were trying to tell me. Hit the brakes. HARD. Turn around. Better yet,






I’m in the wrong place, with the wrong person, heading in the wrong direction. And if I don’t hit the brakes, we’re both going to crash.

I knew that was You speaking to me through a dream. And people say You don’t speak through dreams. Ha

People say a lot of things

people say

people say

“people say”

it doesn’t matter what people say. It’s just words. But YOU, Your Word. When YOU speak…. we MUST pay attention.



Thank you that you know my heart and you love me the same. Thank you for the gift of conviction and the gift of knowing You and hearing from You. Thank you for calling my name and speaking to me. Thank you for redirecting me. Thank you for capturing my attention. Thank you for not leaving me alone to make bad decisions that I’ll later regret. Thank you for wanting me to look more like Christ and less like me. Thank you for properly posturing my heart to desire You. To love You. To not just modify my behavior on the outside for PEOPLE but to earnestly seek to love you with every cell in my body. 

Help me trust You with every detail. Help me not settle for the wrong car, for the wrong person, for the wrong trip, for the wrong direction. For the wrong motives. For the wrong outcomes. For selfishness. For personal gains. For thrill seeking. Lord I thank you that every thing you created is good… but it isn’t always the right time or place to enjoy Your creation. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy so much of my every day life. You didn’t have to do that. From the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to bed; I love my life. 

I love my life.

I love this life.

There are parts I want to change.

I am actively working on changing those parts.

There are parts that can’t change right now or maybe never.

I am actively working on accepting those parts. Even if that means giving them up again and again on the daily.

All we can do is the next right thing.

We must focus on the next right thing. We mustn’t focus on what’s lacking.

For the Lord is my shepherd, and I shall. not. want.




A Letter to the King


I love your proximity to me. I love how I can talk to you and how you listen. I love how you comfort me in your word. I love how you comfort me with your heavenly peace when I ask for it. Lord, I love how you gift us with imagination. I was imagining earlier today that I was in the mountains. I miss walking in the quiet trees and seeing the sunlight twinkle through the branches and hit different plants and flowers and leaves on the forest floor. I miss the smell of the earth with all of its’ mushrooms and twigs and beetles and birds and rocks. Lord I miss planting myself in your outdoor creation and reveling in the majesty of it. Will I go on a trip soon? I hope and pray so. 🙂 

Lord I thank you for all you’re doing in my life. The world would find that I’m strangely content in all areas of my life. I am at peace. I am overwhelmed by gratitude and love and a gentle sense of Your presence with me. I clutch onto this moment and hold it close to my heart. I ask you Lord, please keep me near to you. Help me draw nearer to you day by day and not be enticed by the world and its’ revelry. I thank thee for revealing to me where true life and freedom is. Thank you for freeing my mind to choose your ways… 

Lord, thank you for showing me where I have been actively rebelling against you. Where I choose to blatantly ignore the Holy Spirit as He kindly guides me and suggests the next steps to me. Steps that I have prayed for and asked for… but when I receive the instruction, I deny it outright. Foolish. I have been so foolish. I recognize this illumination as a gift. I just want to tell you, Lord, that I accept it. I want to be healthy. I want to prosper. I want to stand apart and lead others to your kingdom. I want to boast in your abilities and give you all of the glory for the work that you’ve done and the work that you’re doing in my life. 

These words are for you. Your word tells me that they are from you and by you and through you too. Your word tells me that you hold all things together. Thank you sovereign God…. for holding my little life together. I could write you a list a mile long of all the things that I’m thankful for in this moment, but instead I will praise you. 

Great Counselor. Almighty Savior. My Deliverer. Friend. The Christ. My Hope. My Peace. My King. My Father. Dad. The Truth. The Way. Life. Love. 

Oh, what love is like this? Your everlasting love that pursues and provides despite my rebellion. Despite my mistrust and mistakes, doubts and destruction. What love is this, that you wrote my name into your book of life. My name. You wrote my name. You knew me already. You knew what I would look like. You equipped me, before I was born. You aligned the stars and the seasons and the details of everything it took to bring me to the very chair that I’m sitting in today; knowing that I would write this very letter. You already knew that I would do this. You knew that my love for you would grow over time. That I would begin to piece together who you really are.

Yet that’s just it. My knowledge of you barely scrapes the surface. Not even barely. Hardly. The only thing I know how to do is surrender. Give you everything. Please Lord, please take everything. All I have. Take me, and every facet of my life and have your way!

“This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord.

“I will put my law in their minds
    and write it on their hearts.

I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.


No longer will they teach their neighbor,
    or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’

because they will all know me,
    from the least of them to the greatest,”
declares the Lord.

“For I will forgive their wickedness
    and will remember their sins no more.”

Jeremiah 31:33-34


You are Faithful, Sovereign King. You are putting your law in my mind and writing it on my heart day after day. I can’t help but turn to you. 

What love is this… that I should know the One who gives me sight and sound

What love is this… that He who sees my faults doesn’t cease to have me around 

What love is this… that reaches every corner of every frown and promises joy. 

I choose to rejoice, O Abba my KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







I’ve thought about you about 1,000,000 times.

About about.

What are we going on about?

I feel like a shout.


No, actually, no. I don’t.

I’ll remain quiet over here.

Though I wonder if I’ll hear your voice today.

I wonder if you actually expected me yesterday or if you were just …

being polite.

Actually, no. I don’t think you were. I trust that you wanted me around. But maybe you didn’t think it through.

Because after I had arrived… you didn’t seem to notice whether I was there or not.

I’m not good at those sorts of things, you know.

Walking into situations where I’m not totally comfortable or not totally secure by myself.

Going with the flow. I want someone to paint me a picture of the flow. I would like a hand-painted copy of the flow-chart of whatever situation I’m entering into so that I know exactly what I need to do or say with every happenstance. I want to be prepared and equipped. I want to feel safe and secure.

There’s so much newness here. So much newness.

Not much of a foundation.

The flow has been going but seemingly in 1,000 different directions. It’s like a fire hydrant that’s erupting water every which way. I feel like a loner with a bucket who’s contemplating collecting some of the water but it seems easier to stand a ways away and not make a move.

Aways away.

What are we doing anyways?

You are like an ant building a kingdom; picking up piece after piece of dirt and carrying it from one place to the next to construct the work of art that you painted in your head. I’m wondering if I have a place there. I’m wondering if I should partake in that. You’ve invited me in, yes. But do I want to come in?

“He’ll be busy, you know” a friend told me. A wise friend who’s been around the track a few times.

It’s funny (I guess) how relationships bring out all sorts of insecurities. Vulnerabilities. Weaknesses. Issues you may not have known you had. They all float up to the surface. Though I know without a SHADOW OF A DOUBT that timing is everything.


I wish I didn’t have a clock right now. I’m glad I don’t have one of the ones that tick every second. I feel as though I already hear a ticking clock in the background of my mind.





























































60. That makes up one minute. I admit, I didn’t type all of those out. I typed out the first 12 and then copied and pasted the last 48. Hahha

A lot can happen in 60 seconds.

An uncomfortable conversation that makes or breaks a relationship.

Many people talk about “split-second decisions”. I’m not good at those. I’m cautious. I think I’m the steady one. I’m the overthinker. I’m the one that contemplates things from all angles. I’m the one who researches products for months before purchasing them.

Meanwhile, you’re over here living in the moment. Living by the moment.

I want to do this too but I’m scared. Good thing is…


I’m not alone.

I trust God.

I trust His leading.

I trust His guiding.

I trust His outline.

I trust His Word.

I trust His timing.

I trust His will.

I trust His ways.

I trust His thoughts.

I trust Him.

I know God’s got me. He’s my anchor. My rock. My solid ground. My sword. My shield.

Nothing formed against me shall stand. No weapon.


So as I sit. As I wait. As I idly anticipate.

As my mind races, whatever I face

I’m warm in His embrace.

His Spirit leaves no trace

of doubt, of fear; it disappears

I’m complete. I’m full. I’m whole. I’m here.

He’s near. I’m free. I’m exactly who He created me to be.


Just Velvet.

I’m going to just be… Velvet.

There’s only one of me.

And I’m free…

I’m free.



Did you know that you’re free too?





In and out.





Breathing is so calming.

Something we take for granted.

I live with someone who wears a cannula 24-7 to help her get enough oxygen. Without it, she couldn’t live.

The advancements we’ve made in medicine, technology, recreation, travel, educational institutions, waste management, social justice, rights etc. are amazing. Quality of life has supposedly gone up. That’s the idea, right? To make things easier and more convenient for people so that we can enjoy life more?

There should always be a “so that” behind our actions. Every action we take was preceded by a choice to do that action. Unless of course you’re forced to do something. I think of the horror of rape or human trafficking. But something like breathing; we don’t have to choose to breathe. It comes just as naturally for us as blinking and other bodily functions.

So what if we got used to acting in ways that make our lives more convenient for ourselves and others without having to think about it? What if we taught ourselves how to live in a way that promoted growth and happiness and health and well-being? What if living in this way became as natural to us as breathing?

This is not a post about self-help or self-improvement in the way the world might talk about it. This is a post about training up your mind in a way that will lead to prosperity in all that you do.

I want to be a person who chooses to act — whether is be in the way I dress, eat, work, socialize, or think — in progressive way.

Progress. Ahh, I love this word. It’s so encouraging. It’s so hopeful. It’s so life-giving. It contrasts between what once was, and what now is. It shows improvement. It shows that change is possible. It at least shows that change was possible.

Perhaps on a down-day when you don’t feel like anything in your life has changed. That you’re stuck in the same mental rut that you were stuck in last year, the year before, and the years before that.

I want to challenge you to pay to attention to your progress. Journal, write things down, celebrate the small successes. Give yourself grace along the way. Enjoy life. Find ways to do this. Look for opportunities to experience joy. To experience thrill and adventure, if that’s your thing. To experience quiet and solitude and reflection. Look for ways to give back and share your perspective with others. It’s not all about us.

It’s not all about us!

So. Back to learning how to act in ways that benefit yourself and others. It has to be a transformation of your heart and mind.

I believe there is only one way to do this.

“Therefore, I   u  r  g  e   you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:1-2


  1. Offer your bodies to God. Acknowledge that you belong to Him.
  2. Renew your mind. Do this by reading and hearing His Word.

    Act according to His will. Without having to think about it.


Lord, I want to live in Your will without having to think so hard. Without having to try so hard. I want to live life to the full. I want to live under the umbrella of your truth. I need you to give me eyes to see what is true. Lord I need you to teach me to find my satisfaction in Jesus. Lord, you have told me all of this in your word but my heart is still deceitful. I still pursue attention and satisfaction and thrills from the world. It shows my doubt, impatience and lack of trust in you. It shows my rebellion and selfishness. Lord, thank you for being long-suffering. Thank you for your pursuit of me and my heart. Thank you for teaching me, day after day, to choose you. To realize that at the end of all things, the only thing that shall stand and remain is Yourself. Your kingdom. Your glory. Your Son. Your Holy Spirit. Lord, I want to stand with you. Please don’t give up on me!

I want worshiping you to become as natural as breathing.

I want praying to you to become as natural as breathing.

I want praising and glorifying you to become as natural as breathing.

I want walking with you to become as natural as breathing.

I want trusting and obeying you to become as natural as breathing.

I want to do all things unto the glory of God.

By His power, He will help me!




Good morning :)

Hey everyone.

Just wanted to pop on here and say a few words of gratitude to posture my heart for the day!

I am so thankful for a good night of sleep last night! I love going to bed early enough that I don’t need an alarm to rudely shake me out of my much-needed deep sleep ynawmean.

I’m thankful for my lil orange mug from my college dining hall days– I may have stolen this 😬 but I was a different person then. Hahah I just remember when the dining hall staff had to make an announcement that people ought to stop stealing mugs OR ELSE since so many were disappearing. #FACEPALM. I’m totally not glorifying stealing now though. But I do love this mug!

Not to mention my “CARPE CAFFEINE” mug. Gosh. Is it silly to love someone small like that? I guess it’s a tiny representation of my love for my morning ritual. Make coffee into mug. Enjoy warm mug of coffee while doing bible study/devotionals etc. It’s the best way to wake up.

Water. I am SO thankful for water. Lately I’ve been realizing how much more water I need to be drinking. Part of my increased thirst (which I do believe I have!) might be due to changing seasons/having turned on the heating unit in the house?! Also, since I’m regularly exercising now my H2o intake has increased.

So as I was typing about water I realized that everything I’m grateful for this morning comes out of cups. This may be because I am staring at these three cups currently…. ish. (My water is in a water bottle, w/e)… or maybe… my cups overfloweth. Hahhaha

Or I suppose I would be overflowing WITH cups. haha 😉

Anyways, I’m going to go read my bible now! Got about 45 minutes before I leave for work. Today will be a long day… two clients back to back followed by a meeting and a dinner! The latter part of the day will be fun though 🙂

I hope all of you lovely people have a lovely day <3





I Want to Encourage You

Hey brothers and sisters.

I just wanna take a minute to encourage you.

Whatever you’re going through is going to come to an end eventually. You might have to fight long and hard for a while, but you’re going to get through it.

Maybe you won’t have to fight hard the whole time, but you may have to fight for a long time.

People might be hating, and they might not want you to get by. They might want to crush you with their actions and their words. They might want to exclude you. They might spread lies about you and try to turn others against you.

You’ve got to focus on the Truth about who you are.

You are a child of God.

You were created in God’s image.

You were created with a purpose.

There is only one of you and only you are equipped to do what God has equipped YOU to do.

You were not created by mistake.

There are NO flaws in your design.

You have strengths.

And yes, you have weaknesses.

Know them. Know and understand your strengths and weaknesses so that you know where and when to seek help. Know your weaknesses so you don’t keep getting discouraged over and over again.

Give yourself time to grow.

Be patient with yourself.

And in turn, be patient with others.

Be patient, even with those that are out to get you. Be patient with the ones that think seeing you fall would benefit them or elevate them in some way.

These are all lies from the evil one. He is out to divide, kill and destroy.

Don’t let him.

When we control our thought lives, we are finally free. When we take every thought captive to Christ, we can see God.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they see God”.

When those impure thoughts come in, when those lies start pouring in-whether it be from your own mind or the poisonous minds of those toxic individuals in your life- take those thoughts captive:

as in, put those thoughts in CHAINS and present them to the Living God.

Ask God: Lord, give me eyes to see any Truth in this thought. If it is not of you, cast it away. Rid my mind of it. Demolish it. Burn it, shatter it, crush it, and take it. Lift if off of my mind.

But Lord, if there IS any Truth in it, help me embrace it. Help me change. Help me repent of any way that isn’t of you.

Let’s always humble ourselves and be ready to receive from others. Nobody has it all figured out. God uses His people to sharpen other people.

“As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another”.

Let us be open to constructive criticism, sanctification, and growth.

Let us always be striving to be Christlike. Let us be flexible and prepared to change. Let us be willing to change and sacrifice things, and give up our own preferences or desires for the preferences and desires of others.

We’re all on this journey together to know God and love Him and enjoy Him. Let’s remember that every person that God created should be able to do these things too. Other people aren’t the real enemy. Satan is the real enemy.

Don’t get me wrong, there are hard-hearted people. There are EVIL people. There are hateful people. But let’s remember to put on the lenses of the bible to help us see past the humanness and into the spiritual. Nobody is too far past God’s grace and the free gift of salvation. And while there is breath, there is hope.

So I challenge you:

when they start tearing you down

when they start leaving you out

when they start talkin smack

when they start hatin

when they start beratin

when they start inflatin themselves

humble yourself

acknowledge the grace that God gave you that enables you to see the truth

that enables you to see Him in all of His glory

that enables you to choose God’s way and live a life free of guilt and condemnation

and pray

rise above your selfishness and self-centeredness and taking-things-personally-ness and pray for them

they are the ones that need the prayers

we all need the prayers, don’t get me wrong

but they especially need the prayers

because once you know God

you know love

because God is love

and real love is not out to divide and destroy and push others out the way so you can get to the top

real love lays down one’s life for one’s friends

real love goes last, and lets others go first

real love patiently waits for others in hopes that they will catch up and spiritually see eye to eye

real love

God is real love





“Hard-to-love” people

Some people are hard to love.

Some people do whatever they can so that you won’t try to love them anymore.

Some people… hate you and mock you and persecute you and treat you illy.

People you’ve known for years.

Some people expect you to fail and are rooting for that; to build themselves up.

Some people are so dissatisfied with themselves and their lives that they don’t know how to celebrate with others.

Some people are jealous.

Some people proclaim to live one way and live a completely different way.

Some people’s social media accounts reflect one personality, while in person another person is seen.

I love beautiful autumn!

So what shall we do about these people in our lives?

The people we see week after week; sometimes multiple times in a week.

The people we can’t help but be involved in one some level.

Jesus says to love them. Bear with me here.

Let’s talk about what real love looks like.


Real loves says…


I will never leave you nor forsake you.


Nothing you can do will separate you from my love.


While you were still a sinner, I loved you.


I will lay down my life for you.


I forgive you for wanting me dead and gone.


I count you as worthy because you are a human being created in God’s image.


Worthy of time, attention, being heard.


Worthy of my help.


Real love bears burdens and pushes forward.


Real love doesn’t keep records of the wrong things people have done against me.


Real love chooses to forgive.


To know God is to know love, because God is love.

God helps believers to love others through the power of His Holy Spirit.

I think all of us have at least one person in our lives that is hard to love. A family member, friend, perhaps your spouse or child. We must learn to love them. We must give them the time and attention that we would want to be given. We must forgive their shortcomings and pray for God’s grace in their life to continue to change them into Christlikeness. And while we’re at it, pray for ourselves that God would complete the good work that He has begun in US. Ask God to show you in what ways YOU need to change.

Dear Lord, thankyou that you are over all things, in all things and through all things. Thank you that you have gone before me and laid down all of my steps. Thank you that you know the thoughts in my head before I think them and that you love me the same. Lord I thank you that You love others through me. Please give me the patience and the grace of Jesus as I walk through places with people that are so hard to love. Lord I thank you that you didn’t give up on us. That you continue to love your people despite our shortcomings and straight up rebellion towards you. Change the attitude of our hearts to love you wholeheartedly and to bring all things under your reign. Father I thank you that your way is the only way to life and life to the full. Thank you for sharing this truth with me. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now please help me love people. 😛 Amen.





To posture my heart correctly, I will now list off all of the things that I’m grateful for that come to mind in the next 30 seconds; and go!




house, with perfect location

working car

good friends!

amazing food

church family













bible study


chai tea

green tea

grocery stores!






leisure reading

time to rest












having a firm place to stand

knowing who I am

knowing God


Holy Spirit

brothers and sisters

mothers and fathers, blood, by marriage and spiritual

banana bread!

upcycling old bananas into bread

marcona almonds.

almond milk



comic relief


fluffy penguins

love interests


salsa dancing

bachata dancing!


costume parties!




time keeping




being taken care of, always





okay. that was definitely a lil longer than 30 seconds. Not by much though. I didn’t have to think hard about the things on this list. LEATHER ARMCHAIR THAT I’M SITTING IN. Yes. I love this chair <3

Ice cream.


Meal prep.





going out to eat.


After this I’m gonna read a lil, then sing a little. I am very thankful to not have to do anything tonight. I was gone most of the day, and it’s nice to be home.

I’ve been sick-ish all week going back and forth between feeling better then worse etc. Not knowing how much to go out or stay in… I’m not super great at taking care of myself. But I’m learning.

Slowly, but surely.

I’m excited for this week… lots of good things coming up!

Bible study.

Bible study fellowship.

Fundraising dinner.

Birthday dinner.

Possibly a halloween thing.

Visiting friends <3

My birthday!

The next 3 weeks are jam-packed full of stuff. I definitely gotta be intentional about resting when I can. <3

Being boring.

Doing nothing.

But resting is definitely doing something. Definitely is.

OH BTW I met another scientist today who believes in God but doesn’t believe Jesus is the only way. I had an opportunity to pray with him right then and there but I didn’t bite. Next time. Definitely next time. I’m ready. And willing! Be bold for Jesus.

Lord, thank you for all the good things in my life. I know that all good things come from you and I THANK you. You are the giver and provider and sustainer of my life. I rely and depend on you… thank you for your Holy Spirit which directs me and gives me peace. I am forever grateful. Thank you directing me back to your truth when I stray away and get confused. You’re always working, always. <3




“I refuse to check my fbook one more time”

She says adamantly. While contemplating the hypothetical relationship she invented in her head.

She takes another bite of her perfectly-ripe pear and chews slowly with slightly widened eyes.

I wonder if he added me yet. Or if he saw my message. Oh dear, I hope he accepted me! Why wouldn’t he accept me? Is it because I gave him the cold shoulder last night? Why am I so weird to people when I have a crush on them?

She got up and walked over to the mirror, looking at her own reflection. She saw her freckles and long, brown hair and bright blue eyes and smiled at herself. One of those school-picture smiles with no real emotion in it that one would give the photographer when he says “cheese!”. Essentially bearing ones’ teeth. Awkward.

Or maybe he hasn’t seen it yet. Maybe he’s one of those people that checks their social media once a day. Or once a week. Hmm. Even if he doesn’t accept my request, which he will, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But then there’s the message I sent… 

All of the sudden she realized what she was doing. Living in the hypotheticals was something she promised herself she would stop doing. Living in fear or possible rejection was something she had declared she was “done” with. She had decided to live her life.

And right at that moment…

When she let go of the need to hear from this person…

He messaged her.


Okay. This story was about me, I admit it.

😀 😀 😀





dance crush

dang it guys.

I just went salsa dancing and it was fun. but…….

I didn’t get to dance with my crush!

We even walked in at the same time and he said “hello” and “nice to see you” and gave me a hug… and then he said “save me a dance?” and I said “absolutely.”

Well. That dance didn’t happen. Hmmmmm

Though it was for a good reason. I was talking to someone about Jesus. I got to speak a lot of truth about scripture to a guy who’s catholic. I asked him these questions:

  1. what’s up with purgatory?
  2. what’s up with confession?
  3. why do you pray to the saints?
  4. do you know that you’re a saint?
  5. do you know that you have the same power in the Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead?

So. the conversation was lasting. And my dance time slowly trickled away. Though I don’t doubt that that’s exactly where God wanted me to be.

I will dance again soon. But perhaps this man will start living by the Truth of scripture… and believe what Jesus actually did, said, and what it means for us now.

This man understanding the truth is much more important than me dancing with my dance crush. It just goes to show my self-focused attitude. Sigh!

On that note, I’ma go to bed. Gonna hit the hay. Hope yall have a good night.

OH! I’m going to treat this like an opportunity. Not an interruption. God is in control, and God is good.


Ps. this all came about because this guy asked for my number. hahaha sooo many opportunities to witness. 😛