Today has been a long day. To say the least. I’ve been up since 6:00am. Got to church at 7. Played music at 8. Went to Starbucks at 8:30. Til 10. Then putzed around until church at 11. Then walked in the woods for a while, which was nice. The sun was out today, which was also nice. And I listened to a good sermon on what Jesus has done for me and how I owe him my whole life and nothing less.
I am rather deadpan today. As opposed to alivepan. Just kidding, that’s silly, and doesn’t make much sense. I think I’ll go to the store now and get some Halo Top.
So I just got back from the store. Took 20 minutes. Not bad, considering I sat in the car and listened to about half of “Stars” by Skillet
SO that was good and uplifting. Reminds me that God’s got it in the bag. When I’m having a hard day, He’s GOT it…! I just need to ask for help.
In the store, my cashier was super cute. Not in the traditional sense though. She had a boyish haircut and was pretty overweight, and normally probably wouldn’t have been confident or talkative. I’ve actually had her as my cashier before and she acted like she wasn’t sure if I was going to judge her or not, as she clearly judged herself. This is a way that I’ve changed since re-committing my life to Jesus: I no longer dominate other women with my eyes and attitude and behaviors to get an ego boost. I would try to dominate so I could feel powerful and good about myself. Praise God that now I desire to lift up other women and show them love and affection and empathy and compassion!!!!!
Anyway, she was confident tonight because her frand or boo-thang, or half-boo-whatever-flirt-crush walked by her and she made a comment to him like “it creeps me out when you slip behind me like that”; even though he simply walked by. Though I understand what it’s like to have a crush. You do or say whatever to get their attention onto YOU. You do whatever you can to get noticed. Louder. Flirtier. It was cute. And made me smile. I’m glad I went to the store. For multiple reasons. Including my pint of S’mores HaloTop ice cream which I’m about to eat….!!!!!
Another song I heard on the way home was “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” by Danny Gokey. Here is the chorus:
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again