late again

seriously guys, it’s late-ish. I would sound like SUCH a hypocrite to certain individuals if they were reading this cuz I was just going on about how 11:30 is NOT late the other night. Different context though!

Today I was chillin’ hard. Chill day. Bible reading, bible study lesson prepping, playing guitar, listening to a sermon, prayingggggggg & listening…. it was CHILL

Haha I got chinese food for dinner and there were several fortune cookies. One of them reads “It’s one of those low-key days that you’d rather spend just chilling” … yep that’s what I did!

the other one “just because you put tap shoes on an elephant doesn’t mean it can dance” hahahah 😀 that’s hilarious

And true. That’s actually how I’ve felt most of my life. Like an awkwardly balanced elephant trying to dance. Out of place, pretending to be something or someone I’m not. And just like that clumsy elephant stuck out like a sore thumb, I know that I did too. I was trying too hard. It’s just painful to see someone trying hard like that. It’s sad. And idk about you, it makes me angry. I just wanna be like “RELAX” ….. “Chill out!” …. “Calm down.”…………………. I even want to hug them and let them cry and collapse into my arms. I’m not even that motherly but I want to do this for people who are trying so hard.

I used to be one of them so I know how exhausting it is. I know how draining it is. I know how bad it feels when someone doesn’t recognize how much effort I put in to put on a face for them. Wrong motives and wrong reasons for living and acting enslave people. Life begins to seem futile after a while when we’re living to please ourselves or other imperfect people instead of living to please God.

I promise you, that if you start living to please God, and obey His Word in the bible, and trust that Jesus is Lord, life will get easier. Your definition of easy may be different than mine; but submitting to God and trusting His way brings peace. Rest. Peace that surpasses all understanding. Rest that can only be found in the savior.

Woooooooooo I’m falling asleep. More later friends. Ps. caramels make me sleepy. And chinese food.

<3 xxx V

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