Trusting and waiting

Something that I’ve been learning lately is that God doesn’t need my help.

He doesn’t need me! He wants me though, and He chooses to use me and His other children to do His work here. The keyword is “His”. His work is not my work. His kingdom is not my kingdom.

God alone knows the motives of my heart and the intentions I have with doing the things I choose to do. He chooses to bless me and use me and teach me day by day.

But guys

I don’t want to run ahead of God. If we’re on this journey together, which I know that we are, I want to walk WITH Him. I want to walk beside Him and let Him determine the speed. The direction. I want to be with Him during the challenging parts of the journey. I don’t want to be by myself forcing things to happen or trying to tackle something on my own strength. What’s the point in that? When we can abide in the power the Vine? De Vine. Divine hehe 🙂

Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. John 15:5

The other night I was mountain biking with three friends. We stopped by a beautiful bay and waded into the water. We stayed a bit too long and underestimated the amount of time it would take to get back. I take the blame! I was time-keeping that night, and didn’t factor in how much darker it would be in the woods on the trail as the sun was going down. Long story short, we ended up biking in the dark for ~30 minutes.

I was praying for my friends the entire ride back. I was praying that nobody would fly off the trail and hit a tree. That they wouldn’t hit a root and pull a muscle somewhere. That no tires would go flat. That no animals (or people!) would be standing stationary on the trail in the dark and one of us would plow into them. It was a hairy situation. We were in the dark and didn’t have a light.

I prayed, and everything was okay. God was looking out for us.

I was leading the pack though, and urging my friends to challenge themselves and bike a bit faster so it wouldn’t be completely dark before we got to the car. Well it was way too late for that hope because it was that dark after about 1/4 of the way back. I found myself biking at my natural speed and getting further and further from my friends. I had to slow down several times and stop three times long enough to hear their voices before I pressed on again.

When I slowed down it was because I couldn’t hear them anymore and was worried that something may have happened to one of them and they were stopped dealing with it in the dark. I thought about backtracking once but I was never that far from them so I didn’t. In theory, anyway. Since I couldn’t hear them, anything could have happened.

All of us were okay, and the evening ended relatively well; minus our on-ramp to the interstate being closed resulting in us having to drive an extra 25 minutes out of the way to get home 🙁

I learned a few things that night:

I learned to PUT MY DANG BIKE LIGHT BACK ON MY BIKE. It was in my car the whole time too *eye roll*

That reminds me, I told my friend I would order us both some bike lights. I gotta go do that.

Don’t rush ahead of the pack. A good leader stays with the pack; doesn’t get out of earshot. I guess I was thinking that I was motivating them to go faster, but instead it caused me slight grief as I questioned the state of their well-being.

Don’t rush ahead of God. This picture is an example of what I’ve been doing in my walk with Him. Rushing ahead hoping He will hurry up and meet me at the end of the road. Trying to get there faster. If I wait for God, we can journey together.

That night I was impatient, tired, suffering from slight indigestion, and disappointed in myself for not doing a better job of keeping the time.

I often feel disappointed in myself for not making better use of my time. But I also try to take on an unrealistic amount of things to do. Besides working, participating in church activities, preparing and leading bible studies, exercising and taking care of myself, and hanging out with friends or dancing… or resting… I have also been trying to produce multiple creative projects. I have been feeling bad that I haven’t completed them yet, and have attributed not finishing them to not being disciplined with my time; being too distracted, not being disciplined enough in other areas of my life like eating well, resting and sleeping enough, and spending time with the Lord enough. The reality is, I can’t always be doing doing doing going going going. I need to rest. And often. I need to take time to write and reflect and read, and sometimes stare outside my window and listen to the birds chirp.

I bought a scripture verse wall sticker for my new house that says:

“That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.” Psalm 1:3


In the translation on my wall it was supposed to say “you will yield your fruit in season” but when I was transferring it the “y”, “o” and half of the “u” stuck to something else and wouldn’t come off. So now it says:

“I will yield your fruit in season”.

I. As in God.

God will yield my fruit in season.

After all, He is the vine…… I am but a branch. Without the vine, the branch would not exist. The branch would dry up and become kindling for someone’s fireplace.

Resting in the knowledge that God must be the one that yields my fruit gives me hope and peace.

I don’t have to strive. I don’t have to and I won’t.

REST in God. Ask Him for guidance and direction on when to move. And He’ll let you know. But don’t run ahead. You might miss something important! Or tire yourself out. And why walk (or bike) it alone when you could be with Him?!

Hope this blesses you!




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