my goodness
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piercingly steel grey with ocean blue
stark black pupils stand alone in the sea of clouds over an ocean
they touched me for only a moment
but I was burned
seared
scathed
damaged
pierced
torn
though somehow warmed
surprised
drawn in
tickled
intrigued
tempted
and it was real. So real
that days later I’m thinking about them
writing about them
wondering about them
contemplating them and the words that fluttered up to the surface of your lips and the tip of your tongue as you said
“hello!”
not just hello
not “hello.”
but “hello!”
and those husky eyes lit up
and smiled around the edges
and my heart burst inside my chest
and I couldn’t help but smile back
and all the sudden I was aware of my body and what my hands were doing and how my feet were positioned and I wondered whether or not my hair was overcome by static or if my lipstick was straight and I said
“hi!”
and our hands touched for a moment as we both pondered where it was that we had met before
and I did a good job pretending since I knew
exactly
when I had seen you last
and we had danced
but didn’t
exchange
names.
And in that moment you saw me for the first time
because last time
you weren’t looking
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and I wrote you off as proud.
because you weren’t enthralled by me
because I wasn’t enthralled by me
because he wasn’t enthralled by me anymore
so I was apathetic
and apathy breeds apathy
but love breeds love
and this night when I saw how husky your eyes were when they were alive and dancing in my presence, something came alive
I’m not sure what it is yet
if only an attraction
though I hope not
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it saddens me to think that nothing will ever come from our interaction
though these words are already not nothing in themselves
they’re something
I’m alive
they remind me that I am alive
words on pages
words on a screen
they’ve been bubbling in my mind and heart for tens of hours. tens of tens of hours
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though there were only two words swimming through my brain
“husky eyes”
two words accompanied by many emotions
because I needed to sit down and formulate them into words
so here we are
I’m alive and well and energetic and my emotions have met the keyboard and become a digital painting of my heart’s desire to live in a hope that might become something more one day
one day
someone’s eyes will sing and dance when they see me
just like yours did
but I will remember yours
because I can’t seem to forget them
not that I’ve been trying to forget them
but instead I dwell in the image they imprinted on my mind
it hangs on the wall of my mind like a painting and I try to enter in
I try to climb into the frame but it’s only 2D.
it’s such a great image
Tho it would look better if I were next to you
or facing you
staring at you
but instead it’s one way
because this thought is one-sided
and I need to put an end to it right now.
V