my goodness

.

..

…

….

…..

……

…….

……

…..

….

…

..

.

piercingly steel grey with ocean blue

stark black pupils stand alone in the sea of clouds over an ocean

they touched me for only a moment

but I was burned

seared

scathed

damaged

pierced

torn

though somehow warmed

surprised

drawn in

tickled

intrigued

tempted

and it was real. So real

that days later I’m thinking about them

writing about them

wondering about them

contemplating them and the words that fluttered up to the surface of your lips and the tip of your tongue as you said

“hello!”

not just hello

not “hello.”

but “hello!”

and those husky eyes lit up

and smiled around the edges

and my heart burst inside my chest

and I couldn’t help but smile back

and all the sudden I was aware of my body and what my hands were doing and how my feet were positioned and I wondered whether or not my hair was overcome by static or if my lipstick was straight and I said

“hi!”

and our hands touched for a moment as we both pondered where it was that we had met before

and I did a good job pretending since I knew

exactly

when I had seen you last

and we had danced

but didn’t

exchange

names.

And in that moment you saw me for the first time

because last time

you weren’t looking

.

..

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….

…..

….

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..

.

and I wrote you off as proud.

because you weren’t enthralled by me

because I wasn’t enthralled by me

because he wasn’t enthralled by me anymore

so I was apathetic

and apathy breeds apathy

but love breeds love

and this night when I saw how husky your eyes were when they were alive and dancing in my presence, something came alive

I’m not sure what it is yet

if only an attraction

though I hope not

.

..

…

..

.

it saddens me to think that nothing will ever come from our interaction

though these words are already not nothing in themselves

they’re something

I’m alive

they remind me that I am alive

words on pages

words on a screen

they’ve been bubbling in my mind and heart for tens of hours. tens of tens of hours

.

..

.

though there were only two words swimming through my brain

“husky eyes”

two words accompanied by many emotions

because I needed to sit down and formulate them into words

so here we are

I’m alive and well and energetic and my emotions have met the keyboard and become a digital painting of my heart’s desire to live in a hope that might become something more one day

one day

someone’s eyes will sing and dance when they see me

just like yours did

but I will remember yours

because I can’t seem to forget them

not that I’ve been trying to forget them

but instead I dwell in the image they imprinted on my mind

it hangs on the wall of my mind like a painting and I try to enter in

I try to climb into the frame but it’s only 2D.

it’s such a great image

Tho it would look better if I were next to you

or facing you

staring at you

but instead it’s one way

because this thought is one-sided

and I need to put an end to it right now.

V