The definition of integrity is as follows: “doing the right thing even when nobody is watching.”

I am lacking in integrity. To an extent. I definitely do things when I’m alone that I don’t do when I’m in front of other people.

But as a christian, here’s what I have to keep in mind: God sees everything, knows everything. There is nowhere I can go without Him, no place that I can hide. He knows my thoughts before I do, knows what I am going to say before the words are on my tongue. He knows what actions I’m going to do before I do them because He understands my heart. 

God alone

knows the motives

of my heart.

I don’t even know the motives of my heart. I mean, I do, and I don’t. That’s another thing related to integrity. I can only speak for myself, but I have a way of justifying my actions to different people in different ways depending on who they are and what I know about the way they think. I tend to sometimes frame my actions in a way that makes me look less bad to certain people so I don’t feel judged.

Avoiding judgment

Avoiding discomfort

Avoiding suffering

But God knows and sees all. He sees my shortcomings and failures. He sees how I misuse the time He’s given me to complete the tasks He has laid out before me. God forgive me for squandering time feeding selfish desires. Time that could be spent on the tasks He has called me and equipped me to do.

My vices. Often times I turn to my vices in my free time; thinking they will bring me some sort of lasting pleasure. What a lie from hell that is!

My vices trap me. In a vice grip. That’s why they’re called vices. Because they don’t actually bring any real satisfaction. It’s temporary, fleeting, and leaves me feeling emptier than before, desiring of more, and sometimes guilty or shameful because I know I could’ve been spending whatever time I spent on/with my vices versus on the tasks that God has called me to.

You may be wondering what vices I am talking about. It could be daydreaming. It could be hypothesizing life situations. It could be watching videos. It could be eating chips. It could be shopping. It could be partying. It could be choosing to spend time with the wrong person or people.

Prioritizing our time is important. This life is but a blink. It’s so short! And there’s no telling when it ends or each of us or all of us. God is the only one who knows the end date on each of us and all of us.

So I want to build my integrity. I want to be mindful of the presence of God wherever I am, and in whatever I’m doing.

Because I’m His! First and foremost, I don’t belong to myself. I am His child, and it’s a privilege to be in His will and in His peace!  And keeping in line with His will grants me His peace!

Having integrity = having God’s peace

Even when the going gets tough.

David asked God to vindicate him according to his integrity. That means David was saying to God “Justify me God! You know I’ve done well! You know I’ve done good! You see my integrity! Absolve me! Clear me! Clear my name!”

And I don’t want to make this a prideful pity party about myself. No. Praise God He has done a work in me and HE is bringing it to completion! He’s brought me so so far and taught me how to use my time so so much better. And He will continue to teach me more and more and more how to best use my time and energy to care for myself and His other sheep. And the world!

Integrity. Doing the right thing makes me more available to others. Keeps me on track. Prevents me from writing more posts like this 😉

Integrity: no need to worry, no need to hide anything, no need to feel bad about anything. Always doing the right thing.

It’s hard, but Jesus can do it through us, if we keep in step with the Holy Spirit <3

xxx

V