guys.
I’m tired.
Man.
Physically (I think I’m hongry).
Plus I’ve had a headache since ~1.
Maybe it’s because I ate a donut for breakfast.
Gahhhh sugar.
Lol
But it was a hot donut. Freshly made this morning. Right before I picked it up. My new boss had me pick up a dozen of fresh, warm, homemade donuts from a lil donut shop up the road. Eeeeeyup!
‘Twas delicious!
But yeah then there’s this headache. Which might be from the donut. But I dunno.
Anyway. Here I am. At home. With …. 30 minutes to spare before going to bible study. I’m leading tonight’s discussion. Lord help me.
I think I’m going to take a 20 minute nap. I think that will help me tremendously. I should have gone to bed earlier last night. I think THAT would have helped me even more. lol
Tomorrow is Tuesday. My favorite night of the week. Because……….
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I’m going salsa dancing!!!!
😀
Lol remember those email chains that had you scroll for a million years and it promised to reveal whether or not your crush would fall in love with you or something?? HAHAHAH I forgot about those til rn.
😛 😛 😛 😛 😛
So anyway.
My new job is going interestingly. I still have it, so that’s good. I survived day four today. Okay, I’m being a leeeeeeetle melodramatic. But the work environment is a little difficult for me.
Structure. I need structure. I crave structure.
I’m a list maker.
A note-taker.
Task-oriented.
Tell me what you expect from me, and I’ll follow through. I’ll do a great job.
But not this job. I didn’t have an orientation. I didn’t shadow anyone. There is no manual to teach me what to do or say or how to respond appropriately or if I should respond at all.
It’s on-the-job training.
Learning each day that I show up. It’s been difficult. Especially because one of the people I work for is very impatient. I have experienced how very short the fuse is a couple times already. Which, by the way, I hate.
Confrontation. Being uncomfortable. Walking on eggshells. Though I guess nobody is making me do that last one. So this is a place for me to learn how to not do that anymore. Not walk on eggshells. Not tiptoe around. Not be afraid of cracking a few shells every once in a while. They’re eggs after all. And walking on them are eventually going to crack a few. That’s JUST what’s going to happen. And it’s not the end of the world.
Life is tough. It’s emotional.
So why is everybody so afraid of emotion? Why is everybody so afraid of confrontation? Why is everybody so afraid of dealing with feelings?
Why is everybody constantly trying to pretend like everything is okay all the time?
Or maybe it’s just me. I can only speak for me after all.
And I know I do this. I want things to be good. All. The. Time.
Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want to be comfortable and good? To avoid conflict?
I look forward to the day when there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more death. When I’m reigning over the new earth with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
But in the meantime, I’m stuck living in this broken world.
Though you know… it ain’t all bad.
There’s a lot to be thankful for. I’ma list a few things that come to mind right meow:
coffee
hot donuts
working car
money
sunset
sleep
healthy body
laptop
clothes
water bottle
water
chocolate covered espresso beans
guitar
music
hymns
singing
worshipping
church
my Lord
my family
friends
hope
dancing
light
darkness
stars
rest
peace
stillness
quiet
Jesus
books
pens
keyboard
BSF
sisters
sisterhood
prayer
lunch dates
coffee dates
excitement
joy
oxygen.
lol
but I mean, I’m thankful for it. I’m glad it doesn’t hurt every time I take a breath.
Alllllllllllright guys. I’m gonna sit quiet for a new now. I have 10 minutes before I have to go.
LOVE Y’ALL <3
Keep grinding fam. 🙂
XXX
V