I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, so I didn’t say anything. And now I’m thinking that may have been worse than if I did say something.

I let actions speak for the words that I couldn’t formulate and I realize it’s soon. I wish it weren’t so that things get harder as we get older.

That alternate world you spoke about, I am wondering if it actually exists somewhere. And if it does, I’m sure lots of good is happening there.

I’m sorry that I didn’t have the courage or the boldness. The know-how. The truth is that I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I didn’t want you to overthink it. I didn’t want to ruin your night or prevent you from coming out. These are my own thoughts that I projected onto you of course. And it may have hurt even more to have handled it the way that I did.

If that’s the case, I hope you will forgive me. I didn’t aspire to be in this position. It’s all come on very fast and I’ve been taken by surprise. Life can happen so so fast and even if we think we are prepared for anything, things still take us by surprise.

I’m surprised. Nothing is certain, but I am surprised.

And sorry. I am sorry. And I understand. I hope you will too…

xxx

V